Post # 1
Belle and I were talking in another post about political differences between my family and my fiance’s family, and it got me to wondering how the two families are going to get along.
They haven’t met yet, and I am kind of nervous about it, so I want to open it up to all of you.
Do the two families get along with each other? What did you do (if anything) to facilitate harmony? What did you do (if anything) to make sure they avoid controversial topics? (I am pretty sure his parents and my mom can do this… not so sure about my dad!)
Tips and tricks please!
Post # 3
I don’t have any great tips. Our families are pretty different, temperament-wise, but they get along fine. I think one key is to tell your respective parents topics that are better left alone. Other than that, perhaps playing some cards or something break teh ice? Good luck!
Post # 4
Our parents have only met once – at our wedding!
They got along fine, but haven’t really had a chance to get to know each other. Maybe they will visit my parents some time (my parents live in a remote beach town in the Philippines)… although what if they didn’t get along?!
But our parents are getting older (especially mine), so they should spend time together now for sure!
Post # 5
Our families get along pretty well. There’s things that they don’t like about each other, but that’s like with anyone. Luckily, though, they are all happy about having each other as new families.
Post # 6
Our families seem to get along pretty well when we meet up but I don’t think they are so close that they would meet up without the kids being there. (We live in California, both parents live in different parts of Asia).
I talk to my mom on the phone at least once a week so she knows a lot about my husband’s family. I guess since we talk and know what topics to avoid, nothing controversial really ever comes up.
Post # 7
Our families haven’t completely intermingled as of yet, but they will. Trust me, we just know it. T’s already met some of my family and they love him. I’ve met his family and I love them. We’re just "geographically challenged" that’s all!
We have joked about in that maybe our families will just have to meet at the wedding!
Post # 8
Our parents have never met — and they’re not likely to. As I’ve mentioned in other threads, my fiance’ grew up in a religious community that is closed to the outside, secular world. His parents don’t travel or mingle with outsiders, and you can’t really just drop by for a cup of tea and a chat. They’re lovely people — I’ve met them twice, and I was SUPER nervous the first time about all the things that could potentially go wrong, but they were very welcoming and put me right at ease — but it’s not likely that they will EVER meet my family. That makes me a little sad, because I feel like our mothers would get along very well. They’re both elementary school teachers, both love children, and are both very warm people. Our dads might be like oil and water, but I guess I’ll never know!
Post # 9
Our parents get along well, although they don’t have a lot in common.
Post # 10
@Taye- I can’t even imagine what religious community that could be, aside from maybe Amish? Does that mean his parents won’t be able to come to the wedding? 🙁 I’m definitely interested in how dealing with that kind of an extreme difference has been for you.
My fiance’s parents are going to call my parents tomorrow, so it will be interesting to see what comes of it. His side is exceedingly Liberal (not just in politics, but everything) and mine are pretty straightlaced and conservative in every aspect.
I really can’t imagine what they’ll have to talk about beyond us kids… Hopefully that’s enough.
Post # 11
Our families get along pretty well. Of course it helps that my FI’s aunt is my SIL’s stepmother. So our families were already connected.
Post # 12
Our families get along really well! In fact, they have each other over for dinner sometimes and invite eachother to holiday parties. I think it is because they still all live in our hometown and we have moved away, but also because they get along pretty well.
Our issue is his mom and dad- they DO NOT get along whatsoever. They had a pretty messy divorce, so it will be interesting to see what happens at all the events leading up to the wedding, because as of now, they can barely be in the same room as eachother! Drama-rama!
Post # 13
I don’t know, we had some problems with my husband’s family after the wedding (i.e. his Aunt who wanted to be our wedding coordinator tried to screw us out of 2000 dollars because she felt like we didn’t appreciate her enough- I thought fifty thank yous and a 400 dollar spa gift card was a good way to thank her- she disagreed and ended up sending me a fairly nasty email). My in-laws in general are a little odd though. They are polite for the most part though- so I would say my family is comfortable around them, but they would prefer not to hang out.
Post # 14
My parents have met my fiance’s mom, but not his dad. His dad in now deployed and will not be able to make it to our wedding, so I have no idea when/ if my parents will get to meet my fiance’s dad.
I think my mom would like to be best buds with my Future Mother-In-Law (which is kind of what I always wanted to happen with her and I as well), but I think it just may take some time. There is definitely no animosity, but with 2000 miles in between our parents, I don’t know how well they’ll ever get to know eachother! We’ll never be able to be close to both sets of parents. I definitely think my fiance gets along with my family easier than I get along with his!
Post # 15
My parents and my future in-laws get along on the surface, but I have heard comments from both sides about things they don’t like about one another. Mostly, though, they try really hard to be civil and pleasant for the sake of me and my Fi. This is a fine situation since I doubt they will see each other more than once every year or two after the wedding.
We have very similar situations, doctorgirl, where Fi’s parents are uber liberal and mine are uber conservative. Also, Fi’s family is Catholic and mine is born-again Christians. We just remind both sets of families before any get-togethers to avoid politics, religion, the economy, and other passion-inducing subjects. I tell my parents to stay away from toughy subjects and that they can always talk about me if they are at a loss for a safe subject. 🙂
Post # 16
Mrs. Spring- Are you sure you are not my sister or something? Exactly the same! (my parents used to be Catholic though, and then went born again).