(Closed) Do your SO’s want and dream about having kids??

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Darling Husband has talked about wanting kids since the day I met him. Everyone that knows my Darling Husband knows he loves children and dreams about being a father. But I think he is more the exception to the rule. Your Darling Husband might just be more or a practical person and know that he wants to do x,y,and z first and will be ready at 30.

Post # 4
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@PinkMagnolia: awwww cheer up! To answer your question, SO talks about it almost daily…. I even catch him on websites looking at kids clothes… Whever we are out and we see little babies, he is always looking…. BUT we will be TTC this July so that could be the reason…. Don’t worry, if he says he wants to have children, I am sure that he does…. You mentioned that he said at age 30, you two will TTC…. how far along is that? If that is years away then that could be why…. Maybe you should talk to him and tell him that it bothers you a little bit… What happens when you bring up the subject?

Good luck, I hope everything works out for you!

Post # 6
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@PinkMagnolia- I am the practical one in our relationship and before TTC I hardly talked about it. Just hypothetically once in a while and I am a very maternal person. So it’s probably just his personality. I know I had all of these little goals and checklists before the fever kicked in.

Post # 7
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I dont know ANY guys (married or in relationships) that talk about wanting kids. Even if they do want them. Darling Husband definitely wants kids. He has always wanted kids. But he doesnt talk about wanting them. And if I bring it up…he talks about the negatives (aka all the money down the drain, no time for ourselves, etc) even though he does want them. He is 28 going on 29 this year and is still not like “give me a baby!” I honestly didnt even know guys were like that until I came on WB and started reading stories about women whose husband’s were really pushing for a baby….

Dont get discouraged. I think your guy is normal.

Post # 8
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My Darling Husband has baby fever in a huge way, but we are not in the position to TTC right now. Right now, since I am not emotionally or financially ready for kids, I really don’t think or talk about having them. Maybe your Darling Husband is in a similar position. Once he feels ready for kids, it will probably start coming up naturally. How far is he from 30? If it’s getting close, you should try to find out why he’s not ready and start addressing those issues

Post # 10
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

My SO is very on the fence about kids, he would be fine either way but he is not exactly chomping at the bit to get to that point in his life. I am on the fence too but am leaning to more towards having them. He says he wants to wait until his 30’s, I want to be done by 30. Honestly I don’t think my SO is ever going to bring it up and say “hey, lets have kids”  I am sure if I don’t say anything he will just zip past 30 and not even blink an eye at the subject. I am sure I will be the one that starts laying out timelines and bringing it up. I am ok with that though.

It sounds like your hubby is the same. 

Post # 11
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My SO shared that when he was growing up he always dreamed about being a father. He’s been open about wanting us to have a child/children together.

I have two children of my own. I really want to have another child with him – which will hopefully be possible through IVF (I had a tubal ligation).

He did say he will be completely okay if we can’t have our own baby and that he’s been blessed with two (my kids).

I agree with Roxy that your Darling Husband may feel that by 30 he will have accomplished certain goals and that he’ll be more prepared to become a parent.

Post # 13
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

My guess is he wont get too excited until he has a baby to hold. Really, guys just don’t think into the future, they are very here and now so until that baby shows up they wont even think about it.

The whole “we don’t need to worry about that right now” even if it is something that needs to be dealt with tomorrow that guys do, rings very true here. I am sure your hubby figures baby time is years and years away so why should he worry about it now.

Post # 14
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s not like it’s a daily conversation, but Fiance is really excited to be a dad one day and is really family oriented. He is so happy when he hears someone he knows is having a baby, and we’ll talk about it occationally….right now I think he is more ready for kids than I am… I’m still settling into my career so it’s a few years out, but it’s certainly in the cards for us. 

Post # 15
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Darling Husband really wants kids (and expresses this on occasion) but I am definitely the one with more baby fever.  Something specific usually sparks his comments, not just random occasions

For example, some of my cousins have had kids so there were 3 little ones at Christmas this year.  After we left, Darling Husband commented on how watching how excited the kids were over Santa/presents/Christmas/etc made him really excited about when we have kids of our own.  He then immeadiately followed that up with how he isn’t ready to make the sacrafices kids require quite yet.  🙂

Post # 16
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Darling Husband has been talking about having kids since early on in the relationship.  He loves kids and couldn’t wait to finally have one.  But all guys are different, just b/c they dont’ talk about it doesn’t mean they don’t want them.  I already have 2 kids so I wanted to hold off before having a 3rd.  But I’m pretty sure that’s why he married me, he wants a baby LOL JK

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