(Closed) DOC: Professional vs. Competent Friend?

posted 10 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009


I agree with your query. To me, the only thing I can see a wedding planner/coordinator can offer is vendor recs. I’m kind of in your situation, where I’ve got like 10-15 family members (aunts, uncles, cousins and friends) that can help coordinate tasks with me. I think I can assign one or two tasks to each person and get everything accomplished. I’m hoping that is.

I think the key to going the non-professional route is for you to be extremely organized. AND either your friend to be REALLY organized (like anal organized) or have a few friends you can spread the tasks around so no one person is overwhelmed. 

Perhaps some DOCs can weigh in and see if there’s something else I’m missing. 

Post # 4
248 posts
Helper bee

I am not a DOC but the value I see in hiring one is not having to burden friends and family with "day of" duties.  I am happy to have them help in the weeks and days leading up to wedding.  But on the big day I want the invited guest to be just that – honored guests.  If they all have assigned duties, it would take away my enjoyment of the day.  I would much rather hire day-of help and let my family and friends relax and enjoy the day.

Post # 5
48 posts

                         I also want my friends to just enjoy the day,  but my main reason for getting a professional is that I would rather it would be n a business footing. if there is a problem with one of my vendors, or something I need handled or changed, i don’t want to worry about this being my friend-i just want something done. I do not at all mean that I would be rude to her, I just mean if the cake isn’t right, or the florist is late, I don’t have to worry about being called a bridezilla because i’m obsessing. Also, if the coordinator screws up i have a contract. I won’t have to swallow my irritation. Again, not implying I would be rude or insane, just that a relationship with someone you’ve hired is on a different footing than it is with someone you love and care about.

Post # 6
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

DOCs rock.  Mine is worth the money paid already and we’re still just over a month out!  I was going to go the family & friends route, but realized that it was more than I wanted to ask of anyone.  Splitting up tasks between people can certainly help ease the load, but the brilliance of a DOC is being the person who coordinates everything.  If tasks are distributed, there still needs to be someone directing traffic.  I’ve read other posts where friends have successfully filled this role, but it is a lot to ask, even if you’re an easygoing bride.  I’ve found that others who have helped out so far with wedding stuff are far more worried about the details than I am – it can be stressful to make sure someone’s wedding day goes smoothly.

If you go the friends/family route, try and find someone who is uber organized, knows what to expect, and isn’t so close that having to work for your wedding would be a total bummer.  If you can swing it, though, I’d suggest a pro.  They’ll have key wedding experience and come equipped with all sorts of supplies that a friend or family may not have.

That said, do what you feel comfortable with and make sure that anyone who fills that role is comfortable with the agreement as well.  If it is a friend, be sure to clearly outline expectations and roles well in advance.

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