- 9 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
@FortiesFlare: That’s the point. Another poster said that your suggesting adoption was recommending that OP take “the easy way out:”
@bebero: Why do you say this? Parents have a ~4% chance of passing on epilepsy, and with a mother with so few seizures (and someone who has observed seizures), I don’t see what the problem is, especially if her doctor supports it. You seem to just want to take the easy way out.
OP, talk to your neurologist. Some meds are a little safer than others, and if you can be tapered down to the lowest possible dose that will effectively control your seizures, you’ll reduce your risk to your fetus, if you choose to carry a biological child.
You sign up with multiple agencies with whom you’ll partner to bring home a child. You create a profile that proves to a birth mother (and possibly her partner) why you’re the best couple to raise her child. You hope and pray for a long time that someone selects you. If you’re lucky, your first match is the right one. If not, your match falls through, and you’re left picking up the pieces. The baby that you thought was yours, the baby that you thought you’d bring home is not meant to be. You return to the waiting game. Sometimes, it takes years. After each year passes, you recertify as an appropriate adoptive family, costing more money to have another homestudy completed. You pay thousands of dollars for the privilege of even bringing that baby through your front door, not to mention the money that you’ll spend to raise the child for 18-21 years.
And that’s just for domestic adoption. If you want to adopt internationally, you jump through the hoops required by foreign governments. You travel outside of the country and live out of a suitcase in a hotel for weeks. You visit your child in an orphanage, bonding with him there, waiting to be able to bring him home to create a family. You wonder what kinds of delays have already been created by living in a situation in which he’s never held. Are there speech delays from never being spoken to? Are there gross motor delays from being in a crib all day and never being allowed to explore his environment? Will he eat solid food, even though he’s still totally bottle fed well past the age where he should be trying purees? Does he have attachment issues from never being held and loved? And that’s to say nothing of what happens if you’re already halfway through an adoption process and the country from which you’re adopting shuts down the adoption of its children to foreign citizens, like Russia recently did.
There’s NO way that adoption can ever be considered easier than giving birth.