(Closed) Does a bride get input into hairstyles of bridal party?

posted 5 years ago in Beauty
  • poll: Any input into hairstyles of BP?
    Yes : (106 votes)
    64 %
    No : (43 votes)
    26 %
    Other : (16 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    2716 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    If you are paying, then I think you get a say.  However, you should also take your BMs’ opinions into account.  Just say you’d prefer every have their hair down and then maybe send a few inspiration pictures.  But if a Bridesmaid or Best Man is really uncomfortable with her hair down (for whatever reason) then I’d just let her put it up.

    Post # 4
    9181 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    I think you could just say “hey girls, I was thinking we could do loose waves – what do you think about that?”  If someone REALLY doesn’t want that, they’ll say so.  Otherwise, hopefully, they’ll be chill and agree.  (I certainly would, especially since you’re paying.)

    Post # 5
    4523 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    This is one of the million reasons I never accept invites to be in weddings anymore, but I’ll try to answer objectively.

    If you are paying, sure, you get “the say.” However, if I were a bridesmaid and someone said “hey sister, I’m paying for your hair to get done, and you have to wear it up or back”, I’d either a) step down or b) offer to pay my own person.

    Why? I do not, ever, under any circumstances where my hair up outside of the pool/gym/work…because I have big ears. I hate them, and wouldn’t agree to standing in front of everyone with those bad boys flopping in the wind.

    While I personally would prefer my bridesmaids to look like the best version of their unique selves, I understand it’s critically important to some brides to have everyone identical. I vote to ask each of your girls how they like to wear their hair. Maybe you’ll luck out and they’ll all like something similar. If they do not, I promise no one will comment or care that they don’t match.

    Post # 6
    3765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I think that you should give them polite suggestions, but in the end you should be considerate of your bridal party’s opinions and preferences as well. More than likely they will all fall into line with the image you want, but imo they will appreciate not being told they MUST have it done a certain way.

    I simply told my girls to pick their own styles. I don’t feel passionate about hairdos, but I do feel passionate about my girls being comfortable and happy.

    Post # 7
    916 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    To be truthful, I think it is a bit controlling. If I was in an outdoor August wedding, you bet your boots that I will be putting my hair up in a bun, unless you want me to be in your pictures covered in sweat, or fainting from the heat. I think it is more important that everyone is comfortable. 

    Post # 8
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I think you should explain what kind of look you are going for, and if you want their hair up or down. It depending on season and location, they might ask for their hair to be up, so be prepared with some options that go with the vision you have.

    Post # 9
    1143 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I paid for my BM’s hair, but didn’t have set hairstyles I wanted them to have. I told them to come with some idea of what they wanted, and if I really was against it, I said so. But I wasn’t concerned with matching hairstyles, so the hairdresser just did whatever.

    You could give them some pointers, or show some photos of what you’d like them to do, and get their input on that. Would you be okay if they had some loose curls, but the top part of their hair was pulled back?

    Post # 10
    3300 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I don’t see why you can’t offer a polite suggestion. In fairness, no bride has ever mentioned or even seemed to care how I wore my hair for their wedding. I think it’s just understood “show up on the day of and please look as nice as possible.” I don’t have any friends who are utterly unable to achieve that objective regarding hair. It’s a special occasion!

    Post # 11
    557 posts
    Busy bee

    I didn’t tell my bridesmaids how to wear their hair or make-up, but I also didn’t pay for it. But I still think it is somewhat controlling to tell them how to wear their hair. Open hair seems to be the best option for YOU, but many girls hate open hair, especially when they are outdoors in the heat for hours. People with fine or thin hair will not be able to pull the “flowy look” off anyway, and the hair also might fall flat after a while.

    Anyway, I would not tell them how to wear their hair.

    Post # 12
    3572 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Nope, this is controlling.  At least it comes off as very controlling.  These are girls who will want to look how they feel most beautiful.  They are not props in the wedding, they are people. 

    ETA: I paid for my girls’ dresses, hair & makeup.  They chose all of them. 

    Post # 13
    11233 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I mean…do you really care how they wear their hair?

    Post # 14
    1589 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I voted no. I heard of it, my own sister did it. She just requested it up. But I don’t like it!

    Post # 15
    1589 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    OP in your situation, it doesn’t hurt to say: I’d like such and such a look since it’s a casual outdoor wedding. 

    Post # 16
    11697 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    You can have a say but I don’t think you can tell them what to do.  If I’m outside in the hot sun with my hair down for more than 10 minutes it looks like limp spaghetti, it’s terrible.  I could probably work with you on a half up or a side swept messy pony or something, but if it’s down, you can bet you don’t want it in your pictures!

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