Post # 1
SO and I attend colleges 3 hours apart. We’ve been together 4.5 years and have been long distance for 2, so we were dating for a while before we were long distance.
When it comes up in conversation, I get the weirdest, and in my opinion, really rude, responses. I’ve gotten:
- “Why on earth would you do that?”
- “That won’t work out then.”
- “He’s probably cheating on you.”
- [Insert anecdote about their relationship/someone they know’s relationship that failed/got cheated on/etc]
- “You’re missing out on all the better guys here!”
I love and trust my SO so very much, and have no worries about our relationship, long distance or not. We have two years left and plan on getting married the month after we graduate, not that is any of their business.
When they say this, I am truly at a loss for words. I calmly say that while we wish circumstances were different, we are making the best of the situation and are happy together.
Does anybody else get these responses when people find out about their LDRs? I asked my SO and he said he has NEVER had someone say anything like that to him… they admire him! Ugh. Am I overreacting by getting irritated by this?
Post # 3
wow people say these things to you?? i am also in a LDR my fiance is in the military we lived together for a year before he joined wanted to finish school before i got married and followed him so LDR for 3 years, engaged for 2! and no one has ever said anything like that maybe because its not us in two different colleges? idk most people saw aww or thats so great, my advice stay away from these negative people they seem jealous and miserable themselves, now for my corny over played words of wisdom “misery loves company” you know your relationship and your SO ignore everyone else who says these things they clearly dont get you or your relationship 🙂 goodluck!
Post # 4
Yep. I get comments all the time. Lol My husband and I are living apart because I had a job offer I couldn’t pass up and owns a business on the other side of the country and he makes really good money so we are doing this for the greater good of our relationship.
My family IS so annoying! They ask if we are splitting up (or assume that we already have). It’s only for a short time and then we’ll be living together forever and forever (God help us:)
But people can be real a-holes and frankly, it is your relationship and how you conduct it is none of their damn business. Ignore, ignore, ignore:)
Post # 5
Me and my SO were also in an LDR for a while. He had to move out of NC to TN after college for a job and I’m still finishing up school. He was in TN for a year and a half and now his current job is in VA so we are only about 2 hours away. I know exactly how you feel. I have had many of the same negative comments but me and my SO love and trust each other and we have never had any problems when we were LDR. We are best friends and we are always very honest with each other.
I agree with AshleyNicole. I also think that you should stay away from people who bring you down. They are probably jealous of what you and your SO have. I just cut the negative people out of my life and it made me a lot happier. My SO is also in the Army Reserves and will be deployed for 9 months in October so we are going to be an LDR again soon.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I got this stuff all the time, more when it first started, after the first couple years people were just impressed haha. The one that most stands out is when I moved in my freshman year, the father of the girl who lived across the hall from me commented that we would never last- um, excuse me!?!? you don’t even know me!
Some people just don’t know how to keep their mouths shut.
Post # 7
I get the “OMG that must be so hard!” *pouty face* But i feel the distance has made us stronger and wouldnt change it for anything
Post # 8
Yep and I let it go in one ear and out the other.
Post # 9
@PutABirdOnIt: Oh my word, I’m so grateful my family is supportive, I don’t care what other people think, I’m just annoyed by it, but it would truly make me sad if my family was so negative about us!
They never make me doubt my relationship, but I do genuinely struggle with what the ‘appropriate’ response to such an inappropriate comment would be. I am so happy about and proud of my relationship, I wish other people weren’t such Debbie Downers!
Post # 10
- Wedding: December 2012 - Hacienda los Agaves
I used to get the worst of all: “distance love.. all four of you happy right?” (rough translation) implying that we’re both cheating.
I got mad, so I used to answer along the lines of: “Is that what you’d do? glad I’m not dating you”.. not the best response but they were not trying to be nice why should I?
Post # 11
Wow, I think I would slap the person saying that! That’s so rude!! I don’t ever hear things like that, I mainly get… “it must be hard”.
Post # 12
I can’t believe people say that to you. SO and I were together 18 months before going LDR, then apart for nearly 6 months. We also had a 7 hour time difference (8 during daylight savings). We have less than a week left but I’m staying with my parents who are in pretty much in the same time zone (hour behind) so it’s much easier now. The only thing I got was “that must be tough” and “it must be serious then?” since everyone new I was moving. Um, ok.
Post # 13
We’ve been in a semi-LDR since being married (being together sometimes and apart others, paying rent for 2 places). I’ve never gotten that reaction from family, not even when we truely were long distance. I have gotten it from other people a little bit. Some of them are just joking, others just can’t imagine doing it if they haven’t had to. I think being a bit older helps. I just brush off the negative comments. Darling Husband and I have a great relationship, and that’s what matters.
Post # 14
@allieANT: you are lucky your family is so supportive. I was actually kind of shocked at ALL the negative reactions, family and friends. And as you know, it’s difficult enough to live apart without all the negativity.
So when anyone asks how we are doing, I just say “Great!” and change the subject. Lol
Post # 15
I’ve never really gotten much of a reaction? People have always been very nonchalant about it, as if it’s no big deal. It’s certainly not any easier no matter how long you’ve been together. This is supposed to be the last year we’re apart, and it’s just sucked much more than the other years.
Though I did get a few ‘if you’re still together’ comments from my mom when I would talk about doing things in the future with my SO, as though our relationship is invalid for whatever reason.
Post # 16
My SO and I were long distance for two years when I lived in Japan. I got “if you’re even still together” from a friend and an aunt told me, “Maybe you’ll meet a nice Japanese guy.” Why the HELL would I be looking to meet someone else when I already know who I want to spend my life with? It’s very hurtful and frustrating but only you know how strong your relationship is. On the plus side, now that I’m back in the U.S. and we live together, I get nothing but “WOW, you guys are so amazing for having stayed together!”