(Closed) Does anyone else ever feel like HIS biological clock is ticking? *long*

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

Yes, I do think you’re getting sucked into the fear machine. Even if you wait five years to have a child, 40 is NOT OLD for a man to father a child! Not by any stretch of the imagination.

Post # 4
1564 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

First, do you mean Down Syndrome not autism? It’s not really possible to find out if your child is or will be autistic while you are pregnant. You wouldn’t even suspect autism until later on if the child isn’t hitting development milestones at the average pace or other signs.

I honestly would not worry about his age and the connection to autism or Down. Plenty of men have children at an advanced age without issues. Yes, the risk may be a little higher but even those who are low risk can have children with either issue (I know someone who was 25 at the birth of her first child and he has DS). All you can do is hope that it doesn’t happen to you and if it does, you come up with a plan on how to deal with it.

Don’t TTC until you and your husband are on the same page and enjoy the years where it’s just the two of you!

Post # 5
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

Are you from the UK? Anything that comes from the Daily Mail always makes me raise a skeptical eyebrow (though I appreciate that more reliable soures may agree). XD


40 isn’t old for men, it’s old for women because we are born with our eggs, men are constanly making sperm throughout their life so everything being used is fresh :B


My mother works in a primary school where a hell of a lot of the children have a learning difficulty in one way or another. From her personal observations the children with autism come from parents who are disinterested/uninvolved/have issues of their own. I think that nurture is a much greater influence for autism than nature (obviously this doesn’t hold true 100% of the time, but does anything?).


I’m sure that when the time comes you’ll be great parents with a happy healthy child ^^

Post # 7
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

The Daily Mail is not a credible source. If you do find an original report, I wouldn’t mind reading it. Fiance is 39 and I’m 32, so we need to get on the baby making train!  Lol

Post # 8
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

35 – 40 is certainly not old for a man to have a baby. I would be a bit more worried as he heads into his 40’s. You will be fine 🙂

Post # 9
8113 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@MaidMarian:  “From her personal observations the children with autism come from parents who are disinterested/uninvolved/have issues of their own.” — is she 130 or something? Because seriously, this is what people thought YEARS ago before scientific research showed it to be completely false. I do not even have a child with autism and I find this hugely offensive. It’s ignorant and very very hurtful to parents of children with autism. You just basically said to them “your child’s autism is your fault for not loving them enough.” Your mom’s “observations” are wrong and probably made up from her own ignorance and prejudice.


Post # 10
8 posts

This is somewhat in my area of work so I figured I’d jump in and comment.

I read the original article in the Daily Mail and it was based on a study published in a peer reviewed journal.  I never went back and read the actual study so I can’t comment on how well it was conducted; however, your citation is in fact from the study and not the Daily Mail.

The link between maternal age and Trisomy 13, 18, and 21 has long since been established.  We have fairly reliable statistics stating the increase in odds in the development of each of these disorders with each year of increase of the mother.  For some reason, 35 has been identified as being advanced maternal age; however, the odds do increase for females yearly.

The link between paternal age and trisomy has not been studied much and it is great that this area is starting to get some attention.  Theoretically, the idea is that although the male produces sperm throughout his life, odds of a mistake being made during production (or during the production of cells for any area of the body) increase with age.  The study discussed in the Daily Mail article did link paternal age to Trisomy 21 and Autism (obviously with the Autism being diagnosed during childhood and not in utero).  In addition, the link is solely correlational, not to be confused with causation.  Again, I have not examined the original study so cannot comment on the quality of the results.  

Is it reasonable to assume that paternal age can influence some child factors?  Probably.  To what extent?  We really don’t know.  There is so much research left to be done in this area.  We don’t even know the paternal age at which the odds begin to increase (35, 40, 50, 70??) or even if the yearly increase in odds is significant.

Is it reasonable to try to have kids as soon as possible based on what we know about maternal and paternal risk factors as they relate to age?  Of course not!  If that was the case, we’d all be having children when we were 13!

I also want to stress that I agree with previous posters in that age (maternal or paternal) is NOT the sole risk factor for the development of trisomy, ASDs, or any other developmental disability.  There are many other risk factors; however, “parents who are disinterested/uninvolved/have issues of their own” is not one of them.

Keep the communication open and honest between you and your husband and you will figure out the best time for both of you to have kids. 

Post # 11
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Not that wikipedia is a good source but it links off to various studies here:


I don’t think you’re crazy to think of it — I did too. My partner is 43. Just because anecdotally people think that men can have kids forever, doesn’t mean there couldn’t be an impact on their fertility/child’s health.

That said, you guys will likely be fine! It’s easy to get stressed out about this stuff but try to breathe past it.


Post # 12
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

You can’t spend your life worrying about things that could happen. The biggest risk for Down’s is a mother over 40. Yes, an older father may increase that risk, but we’re talking about small differences here. I am a researcher and I can tell you that someone does a study and finds a significant difference, and then they tell the public “xxx causes xxx” when in fact this is not true. Take all of these things with a grain of salt. There are so many risk factors out there that you can’t possibly avoid all of them. What’s important is that you and your husband decide you are both ready to have a child. Ideally (according to statistics), this would be before you are 35-40 for your first, but many many women have children older and they are perfectly fine. 

Post # 13
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My father was 43 when I was born, and I was concieved after a reverse-vasectomy. 2 years later my sister was born. We are both fine. 

Post # 15
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

 @LaCroix:  I wouldn’t worry too horribly much, but yes, some studies do show an increased incidence of autism spectrum disorder in children of older fathers.  However, I wouldn’t worry too much.  Both of my parents were 35 when my mom got pregnant with me and I’m fine.

@MaidMarian:  Wow.  How offensive.  My nephew has a mild form of autism and our family was not uninvolved or disinterested.  I’m going to put this here and hope you educate yourself.

Post # 16
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

@kayrie95:  yes I have been thinking about that post and I regret it deeply for various reasons. Sorry for being offensive.

The topic ‘Does anyone else ever feel like HIS biological clock is ticking? *long*’ is closed to new replies.

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