(Closed) Does anyone else feel detached to FSIL?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have a great relationship with dh’s sister. My brothers wife is another Story. We don’t live in the same state but whenever we visit one another I always feel judged and out of place.

Post # 4
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t have the best relationship with SIL (though we’re working on it and it’s getting a bit better). I just don’t find her easy to connect with. We have very little in common and when I do reach out to hang out, I feel like she’s only coming not to cause drama. And she never takes the initative for us to hang out. I wish I had a closer relationship to her but we’re very different people so we just try to keep it civil.

Post # 5
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I kind of have a similar relationship with my Future Sister-In-Law.  She and I are the same age, and we connected on vacation last year because we were rooming together (FI’s parents are verrrry traditional), but since then, it’s been more awkward than anything.  We really like each other, but it’s hard to find things to talk about. 

Post # 6
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I realized soon into my relationship with FH that if him and I weren’t together, I would never be friends with Future Sister-In-Law, we literally have ZERO in common.  I’m an outgoing person, very social, but having a converstation with her is exhausting; there is always drama that she has to go on about, how others are jealous of her, how her life is more difficult than other people’s, how the world owes her so much, etc.  If she wasn’t so ego-centric, she’d be able to tell I can barely stand her, but since she doesn’t care about anyone except herself, she doesn’t notice a thing.

With the wedding, she has begun making suggestions that are, simply put, crazy.  She wants to invite her husband’s entire family (grandmother and all), she wants to wear a massive sparkly flower in her hair, “I want Person X there at the wedding for me because they’re important to me!”

It’s not that we don’t get along, she’s just not the kind of person I enjoy being around for periods of time.

Post # 7
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

my Future Sister-In-Law is extremely cold. if the 2 of us are left in a room alone we literally have NOTHING to talk about… not only that, I asked my Bridesmaid or Best Man to invite her to my bachelorette party and she is THE ONLY ONE who hasn’t bothered replying!!!! i don’t actually want her there but at least have the decency to reply!!!

i don’t think we will ever have a friendly relationship. it’s sad.

Post # 8
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have 2 Future Sister-In-Law who get along with each other. Me I feel like a 3rd wheel and probably will always feel that way. They have known each other a lot longer and my Fiance and his brothers and wives grew up in the same area and have family in the area, where I come from Southern MN and have nothing really in common with FSIL’s

Post # 9
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Future Sister-In-Law and I do not have a good relationship and it really upsets me. She is 4 years older and she acts as if I am a child. When she is around I feel like she is always judging me. She gives off this vibe of “I have enough friends I don’t need anymore.” She is also planning her wedding so when she actually does talk to me she talks about the weddings, I have no idea what we are going to talk about post wedding.

Post # 10
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have pretty much zero relationship with my Future Sister-In-Law.  She lives several states away and is a stay at home mom and military wife.  I see her maybe twice a year and we have absolutely nothing in common aside from my fiance.  Every now and then she’ll post on my pictures on facebook, or send us pictures of the girls, but I have yet to physically speak with her since we got engaged 4 months ago.  Fiance wants her to be one of my bridesmaids, which I’ll do for him, but I dont think either one of us is really going to look forward to that experience.  (I still have yet to ask as well)

Post # 11
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

I think it just depends on the personality. In terms of women in the family, I probably feel “closest” to my FI’s SIL (FI has 2 sisters and 1 brother). One of my FI’s sisters is really nice and I like her an her husband a lot, but they live far away. The other is religiously conservative and probably won’t make our wedding at all. I feel really distant with my own brother’s wife. Just because people marry in to the family doesn’t mean you’ll have a close bond with them, even if they seem to share a lot of similar traits. 😉

Post # 12
1869 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My Future Sister-In-Law is the exact opposite of me.  Not kidding.  Our wedding is going to be interesting!

Post # 13
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I do, but it’s mostly because of distance (8 hours) and the fact that I’m not the most out going person.  I take a looonnnngggg time to warm up to people, so I take most of the blame of not being closer to my SILs.

Post # 14
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My Future Sister-In-Law is nice but very very introverted. We don’t really have much in common. She is a stay at home mom with two little kids and I work and have no children. Her life is filled with taking the kids to the park and baking cakes and I go to work every day and we hang with friends on the weekend. She is super sweet and nice but just very reserved, doesn’t talk much to me, and we’ve NEVER hung out together (outside of family dinners) besides when she had to meet me and all my bridesmaids to try on dresses. (My Fiance and I asked her to be in the bridal party.) So I kind of know what you are talking about. I used to take offense to it and feel like “Why doesn’t she want to  be my friend?” But I’ve come to grips with the fact that A. We don’t have much in common and B. She is just a very reserved person and isn’t an outwardly friendly person to begin with. It isn’t that she doesn’t like me or doesn’t want to hang out with me. I think our relationship will change once we start having children, but who knows. 

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