(Closed) Does anyone else feel guilty buying things that are 'frivolous'?

posted 4 years ago in Money
Post # 2
Member
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Nazareth Hall

To an extent. I always put back clothing items or house decor and just tell myself I don’t need it, because I really don’t. That being said, I always make sure we put aside money each month to go into a vacation fund and we also have fun money to spend each month on things are are “frivolous” but that we also want to keep ourselves sane haha

Post # 3
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I never feel guilty about the things I buy. I work hard, my bills are paid, we are debt free and have a good chunk of money in savings. I am fortunate enough that I never have to think twice about swiping my debit card I guess.

Post # 4
Member
6359 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

No, I don’t.  We need balance in our lives.  Working without vacation time, for example, will kill your productivity levels, increase stress, and affect family/personal life.  I’m not risking that so I can earn more money to put away.  Money spent on things that make me and my family happy, whether it is some clothes, dining out, etc., is always well spent to me.

Post # 5
Member
9589 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

vacations as long as we can afford them and theyre not excessive- no guilt. Stuff- YES! Its absolutely wasteful. Odds are good you dont need anything. If you do- you wait for a sale or get it deeply discounted new with tags on an app like poshmark or mercari. I refuse to pay full retail on anything, but I also refuse to buy cheap crap that will fall apart in a year. Bad for your wallet and the environment.

Ive gotten really fired up about our savings rate recently. Just buy cutting consumer waste, being mindful at the grocery store, sticking to our restaurant budget and ceasing all needless purchases we can save and invest over 50% of our income. I think the conventional wisdom of saving 10% is nonsense for people who want to work till theyre old and grey! Its one thing if thats all you can afford to save but most can afford to save more and just dont.

The occasional (like every few years) luxury purchase like jewelry is fine IMO. You need to live a little, and the enjoyment of that lasts many generations. Thats a better call than wasting 20$ at Target on a china made sundress or knicknack weekly. The little things purchased regularly is what really drains your money. (starbucks and impulse clothes, namely).

Post # 6
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

Always…  I got a great deal on a dress for work yeterday that I’m wearing and feeling guilty about. But mainly because there are other things I could be putting my money towards… like house stuff or even savings since Fiance is the one saving all the money.

I usually have to justify every purchase in my mind before going forward… like the two pairs of shoes i recently bought so that the pumps I wear everyday don’t wear out. I had to come up with specific outfits or events I would wear them to/with and then went ahead and bought lol

Post # 7
Member
9998 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I just now bought yet another designer handbag on Amazon.  So, yes, I feel extremely guilty at this very moment.  The main reason for my guilt is not the money spent, it’s that I don’t “need” it.  And it will take up more space in my closet with all its companions.

I’m sure I’ll rationalize/justify when it arrives because pretty.

Post # 8
Member
14979 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I just dont buy “frivolous” things.  Even if it’s an easily affordable $5 item, if I don’t really need/want it, I don’t buy it.  If I want something enough to actually buy, then it’s not frivolous to me.  Did I *need* that second wallet I bought last year?  No, but we were on vacation and prices overseas was so much lower than in the US that I HAD to have it.  I still haven’t used it, but nope, still not guilty, I love having it.  I never feel guilty about spending money on vacations – that is not frivolous in my book!  We’re more natural savers than spenders, so we’re lucky to 1-not want much to start with so not much friviolous spending, and 2-easily afford what we do actually want.

Post # 9
Member
3064 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I dont view vacations as frivilous ! Its important for me to get out of this shitty weather and have a great week off once a year lol. 

BUt I do try to not spend money unecessarily. I NEVER buy clothing full price, and will wait for sales on Items I do need lol. I do try to be mindful of spending but ya gotta live lol!

Post # 10
Member
8467 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

chrissybee:  Nope. But I also don’t buy things just for the sake of buying them. I either need it or really really really want it and so I get it. We have so much crap in our house that I’m trying to get rid of that I think long and hard before adding to the piles. 

I absolutely never feel guilty about spending on vacations – I definitely set a budget for them but then I enjoy myself. We just got back from a vacation and I feel like we totally splurged because of all the amazing restaurants we went to (including a Michelin star restaurant in Paris..NOM!) but friends are shocked at how “little” we spent for 10 days in Europe claiming that they would have spent twice that and not gone out to such nice restaurants. I was baffled. Prioritize what matters to you and go for it with no regrets. 

**all of this is with the assumption that you aren’t swimming in debt and living paycheck to paycheck. If that’s the case put the dress down and get to a more financial secure place first.

Post # 11
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

chrissybee:  It’s funny that you’re asking this on a wedding forum, because spending tens of thousands of dollars on a party is a huge frivolous expense. And most people on here don’t feel guilty about that…

To me, if it makes you happy and you can afford it, then go for it. 

Post # 12
Member
888 posts
Busy bee

We budget for pretty much everything, including vacations, clothes, presents and then we each have a discretionary “fun money” for whatever we want each month.  This is AFTER all bigger budgets have been funded – living expenses, saving accounts, retirement funds, college savings for kiddos, gas, groceries, etc.  So I should not feel bad buying anything from my fun money but sometimes I do.  I am obsessed with finding stylish yet comfortable shoes for an upcoming vacation and even though I have only spent my fun money, it is ridiculous how many shoes I have purchased in the past 2 months and none of them are quite right.  Seems wasteful and time consuming.  I’m talking to you Tieks. 

pinkshoes:  Not to thread jack but did you declare your purchases at Customs?  If yes, how time consuming was it?  I am looking at purchasing a luxury bag and was thinking of waiting until I was in Italy because it is much cheaper even if I don’t get the VAT back but it’s definitely over $800 and the whole customs thing scares me so much that I am thinking of just buying it here.  I would declare it but if it’s tons of paperwork and time after an international flight, then I may just buy it here.  Thanks in advance for your feedback.

Post # 13
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

No but sometimes I wish I did because I might spend less!

Admittedly my purchases are not as frivolous as they used to be. I’ve recently spent about £500 on clothes which feels like a lot (and 2/5 of it was underwear). But I’ve lost a lot of weight and although I was dragging on wearing clothes that were too big, or winter weight, I feel so much better now in clothes that fit well and are appropriate for the season. Where possible I’ll use discount codes or get cash back and look for the cheapest prices.

I do have some interest free debt which I’m paying off alongside and very little in the way of savings which is what makes me wish I often felt more guilty! I am definitely not one of these people that can focus hard and save easily without a target though and I’ve been swimming along without one for a while now.

Post # 14
Member
9589 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Foreverblonde345:  I would just not declare it and wear it through customs. Thats what I do with jewelry bought overseas.

Post # 15
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Life is all about balance. There are definitely times when I save more and times when I treat myself. I guess the only time I would ever feel guilty about treating myself is if I didn’t really have the money, but then again I wouldn’t do that in the first place.

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