Does anyone else feel guilty for not enjoying pregnancy?

posted 2 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 33
Member
7915 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

sandiegobee :  A big part of it too is that many women simply forget after awhile. Probably so they’ll be willing to do it again hahaha. New moms especially need to talk about it while they are living it. My first week home with our daughter my best friend came over and I collapsed into her arms in a sobbing mess because I couldn’t believe how HARD it was and why the hell didn’t she warn me?!?! She just stared and said “omg….because I forgot about this part….don’t worry it gets better and you’ll eventually forget too”. 

Post # 34
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee

Looks like I’m in the minority, but I actually really enjoyed being pregnant. That being said, I had a really easy pregnancy. I did have a bit of a hard time with how I looked (when I gain weight, my face gets huge), but I loved how I felt. If it weren’t for the labour part, I would consider being a surrogate.

Post # 35
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I never felt guilty for not enjoying it. I just assumed the women who do say they enjoy it are insane! 😜

Post # 36
Member
2234 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My last pregnancy was in 2015 (the first in 2011) and I remember that most of the time being pregnant really sucked. I did not have any serious symptoms either. It was just nine months of not being able to do things I wanted to do, feeling bloated and ugly, and just a general discomfort. I don’t think there’s anything to feel bad about- no one wants to get pregnant just for the sake of getting pregnant, they want to get pregnant because they get a child at the end. For me it was a necessary evil. I am forever grateful I was/am able to have two kids, but that doesn’t mean I have to love the process it took to get me there.

Post # 37
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Prettysmile40 :  My babymaking days are behind me, but when I was there, it was faaaar more difficult than I had anticipated.  Yes I absolutely felt guilty, but I also was kind of depressed too because women all around me kept saying things like “Don’t you just love being pregnant?  Don’t you just feel so alive and fresh and wonderful?”.  Ugh, so hard to hear when you are vomiting constantly, heartburn, bloated, lethargic….the list is endless. 

So I’ll just say two things:

1)  For both of my pregnancies, it got so much better after the half way mark.  Even when I was 9 months and ready to burst, I was far more comfortable and happy then the first half. 

2)  After delivery both times (the first being long and hard!), I literally thought to myself “that was WAY easier than the first half of pregnancy!”.  Granted I got lucky, and I had no delivery complications.

So I hope these two thoughts bring you some mental relief!

Post # 39
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Oy I feel you! My pregnancy was basically a breeze and I still hated the whole thing. It’s like having your body taken over by an alien… Also had a pretty easy delivery but just wanted to give fair warning that it takes like another 9 months to feel like your body is “back to normal”. Between the excess weight and the hormones that are still running ramapant creating the most ridiculous effects to the lochia nonsense and chronic sleep deprivation …. yikes. Also I didn’t have an immediate I’m so in love experience with my son, that didn’t really happen until he started engaging with me. Now at 19 months omg I’m flooded so regularly deeply and completely with the feeling that he is EVERYTHING in the whole entire world – its kind of scary how it came on… And we are now trying for #2 so apparently I’m a glutton for punishment. It is weird how disconnected you get from the experience. I remember hating it but I can’t like call up the feeling and feel it again if that makes sense… same for delivery. Good luck mamas – it does end eventually!

Post # 40
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Prettysmile40 :  Forgot to add my tip that might help…I was a coach potato watching Golden Girls when I was pregnant because there was something very comforting about watching post-menopausal women having fun!  laughing

 

Post # 42
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Absolutely. I felt guilty for not really enjoying my pregnancy. At the end I was honestly SO done. But I think it’s totally normal to feel that way. I just wanted my body back to myself!

Post # 43
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

pinkshoes :  I hear that! I’m so excited for you ! 

Post # 44
Member
751 posts
Busy bee

I hated being pregnant. It was shit. Not the beautiful wonderful time that society would have me believe. 

But my little one is beautiful and wonderful and amazing. Hard work but amazing.

Don’t feel guilty, you’re going through immense changes!

Post # 45
Member
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I had a breakdown at about week 16 when I was still nauseated, feeling tired, cranky, and just blah (I’m now almost 21 weeks).  I expressed to several friends (all of whom are pregnant after infertility, as am I) how guilty I felt for feeling miserable when I had something I wanted SO badly.  They all reassured me that what I was feeling was totally normal.  Pregnancy is hard and everyone experiences it differently.  Just because you wanted it so badly does not mean that you have to feel guilty that every moment (or even like 99% of them) isn’t perfect.  Hoping you have a very boring 15 more weeks as you wait to meet your son!

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