Does anyone else feel guilty for not enjoying pregnancy?

posted 1 month ago in Pregnancy
Post # 61
Member
260 posts
Helper bee

EmmeW :  Lol that is so true….Dirty Delete is five months and I remember the first 5-6 weeks I had terrible baby blues.  Literally almost every day I would think about how much I missed my “old” life and I was certain we made a mistake by having a baby. My husband and I both felt that way, actually….we seriously talked about it together. It was awful. But as she got older/more predictable it got way easier and now we absolutely love being parents and laugh at how dramatic we were lol. 

Post # 62
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’m grateful to be pregnant but it has made me realise no way in hell will I do it again. Any doubts about being one and done vanished. I’m uncomfortable, unwell and fairly cranky all the time. I still have 5.5 months to go.

Post # 63
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Ugh. I loved pregnancy with my first children. I loved being pregnant. Feeling the baby. Everything. 

My last baby we had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and took us almost a year to conceive again. I was 39. I was sick throwing up, dilectin didn’t work. I developed pre-eclampsia and gestational diabetes (ended up on insuline) and my kidneys started failing. I got Carpal tunnel. Developed hypoandromnios  (too much fluid..which also lead to cord prolapse nearly losing my baby and an emergency c-section). Was told to leave work at 17 weeks (I stayed until 22). I had migraine basically every day. Omg I could go on and on..heartburn and lived off tums. I only gained 14lbs because of all the throwing up and a week after I had him I lost 30. I peed myself, constantly. Like we ended up just saying screw the mattress and bought a new one after I completely lost all control. The depends didn’t fit..I had so much fluid I looked like I was carrying triplets and I’m only 4’11..

I HATED being pregnant.  From 12 weeks on I had weekly or more than weekly appointments.  (Nephrology, ultrasounds, blood tests, and the list goes on).

I had my tubes tied right after..lol. my poor so. I have older children (adults ) and our son is his only child.  He gets mad baby fever and says he wished we had twins, or could have another  but totally understands that there is no way my body could endure another pregnancy. Honestly just the thought of that pregnancy gives me anxiety attacks..haha. 

I made them completely remove my tubes.

Post # 64
Member
725 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I was preganat twice and lost baby both times late in 2nd trimester. I felt SO guilty about not enjoying being pregnant. I felt sick, got headaches, felt fat and unattractive and and my skin broke out like crazy. Not being able to have drinks with friends and Darling Husband sucked, and so did always being the designated driver! In my second preganacy they tried to monitor me more closely, and that meant a 2-3 hour hospital appointment every 2-3 weeks, more needles and internal exams. I also had to take progesterne vaginally and that was gross.

Don’t worry, bee. Not everyone loves pregnancy. Hopefully you and your partner can do some fun things together in the meantime. 

Post # 66
Member
3151 posts
Sugar bee

PrincessPeach13 :  early September 🙂 I just finally hit that magical post 12-weeks happy place at 14+.

Post # 67
Member
3151 posts
Sugar bee

Prettysmile40 :  Also, just read your latest, as soon as I hit second tri and could stomach coffee, I started having one small cup a day. It really helps with managing the second tri headaches that seem to be my only downside at this stage- aside from growing belly pains.

Post # 68
Member
1929 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I did not enjoy much about being pregnant. No guilt though! Being pregnant is about bringing a child into the world, not about “being pregnant”. I dread having to do it again if we decide to have more kids.

Post # 69
Member
1113 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Malibou Lake Mountain Club

Prettysmile40 :  i hated the first and third trimester. I HATED eating a lot. I know this sounds silly, but i felt like a glutton. I know it was for the baby; but at times i just couldnt stop because i was always hungry during the first trimester. Then the third trimester hit and i was in SOOOOO much pain. Lightning crotch was HORRIFIC. Getting up and feeing the sharp pain around the vulva; i just wanted to rip my vulva apart lol.

what did give me sanity was working on the baby’s room. That made it feel worth it. 

Post # 71
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’m another one in the minority, but I honestly enjoyed pregancy once I got past the all day sickness around 12 or 13 weeks.

I did, however, dread giving birth the entire time. In the end my birthing experience was terrible and I feel baffled when people say they liked labor and felt empowered. The whole thing felt like a mess to me, between the induction, bad reaction to epidural, and eventual c-section. 

Post # 73
Member
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

My feelings about pregnancy oscillate as much as my mood swings.  At the very beginning I was SO excited I couldn’t sleep.  Then I was nervous I’d lose the baby.  Then first trimester symptoms hit and I just didn’t feel like myself.  I didn’t even have bad sickness, just crazy food aversions and exhaustion.  I didn’t feel like doing anything.  Things turned a corner around 12 weeks and I am now 19 weeks.

Some days (or parts of days) I love being pregnant.  I love feeling the little one and knowing that I can keep it safe for now.  I love that I have energy again, and my “nesting” has taken the form of cooking us good dinners, so we’re eating well.  I actually love my belly.  It’s not too big yet but I love that it is rounded and solid – I’ve never had a smooth stomach so I’m really enjoying that part of it.  I love that we will have a baby this summer.  

BUT.  I also HATE that I have terrible acne at 31 (and nothing I do can get it to go away, it’s like whack-a-mole).  I am starting to get pains while sleeping, which sucks because I’ve loved how well-rested I’ve felt.  I’m clumsy.  I fell down the stairs two weeks ago (everything is fine) and this morning I twisted my ankle doing absolutely nothing.  I get terrible hormonal headaches about every other day that totally take me out of commission until I sleep it off.

I think that so far I’m having a relatively easy pregnancy.  Some times I love it, and some times I hate it, but I am thankful that I do not despise and reject it.  I never think to myself, this is such a miraculous time in my life I need to milk every minute of it.  But I do think to myself, this is worth it, and some parts are nice, and overall they tend to outweigh the bad parts.  Until I have a bad breakout that my makeup can’t cover or I fall or have a horrendous headache.  Like I said.  Moodswings.

Post # 74
Member
2982 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I told Darling Husband last week. I’m not one of those women who loves being pregnant and would do it again in a heartbeat.  I’ll do it once more because I want 2 kids.  But I don’t think anything will make me want to do it a third time. 

I’m struggling with the way my body is changing (I tend to gain weight in my hips/thighs, so to have it all suddenly in my boobs and stomach is so strange), everything feels so foreign, I’m uncomfortable, I don’t like not fitting into my comfy clothes.  I miss doing high impact workouts, and being able to do crunches.  Not because I ever enjoyed them but because suddenly I can’t.  I want to eat bologna right out of the fridge, and runny eggs, and sushi without feeling like I’m doing something horrible or risky.  

And then I feel like a horrible person because my pregnancy has been AMAZING.  I’ve had such an easy time so far, and I feel guilty for not loving it. But I don’t love it.  

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