(Closed) Does anyone else find wedding planning lonely and pretty horrible?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
675 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I hated it too. Planning, SO, friends, BMs, family = stress! It’s like no one wanted to help. People who I thought were friends weren’t true friends. People who I thought were happy for us weren’t. DH drove me crazy and there were endless fights and tears. Pretty sure I had pre-wedding depression. I totally get you.

One thing I learned was to expect less from people.

But just think, there’s only two more months to go! You could do it bee! Hang in there! When everything’s done, you’ll look back and will be proud of what a huge project you’ve accomplished.

Post # 17
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I feel you. I dislike and it’s lonely. I lost my mom 12 years ago and his parents are 3 hours away. Fiance is involved and is all about tradition/etc. His mom tried to be involved but I HATE talking about the wedding.

I agree w/ the poster that said the best part was choosing the dress, honeymoon and food tasting. Add Cake tasting too.

I also enjoyed the marriage prep we’ve done w/ our church/priest and with the couple that we learned NFP from. 

I want to get married but I’m just not into to all the details, etc. I mean my wedding is 44 days away and we still have to:

  • select music
  • readers
  • book cake
  • book DJ
    • choose 1st dance
    • choose father daughter dance
    • learn to dance? I’ve been having feet problems and sprained my ankle so unsure abuot this..
  • schedule hair/makeup
  • and prob several other things

I JUST sent my invites out yesterday and chose my bridesmaid dresses tonight!

I am looking forward to marrying my Fiance and starting a life but all the details. SO. NOT ME. 

I’m definitely looking forward to honeymoon and quality time w/ Fiance

Post # 18
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

You are certainly not alone. I haven’t enjoyed it at all and would have rather just eloped. My Fiance is set on having a wedding, I compromised and we are having a small one.

Post # 19
Member
2803 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

 

View original reply
rainy578:  We are in the same boat here. Fiance and I have had some recent fights as we get closer and costs have been adding up. We considered eloping in a rash discussion last week, but once we figured out how much money in deposits we would lose, that was out too.

 

Post # 22
Member
577 posts
Busy bee

Hey girl! I totally got you!! I am feeling the same way, less than 2 months for me as well and my honey and I have planned everything ourselves and I feel very unsupported and it makes me sad! Anyways, just thought it might help to know you are not alone! I’m in a similar boat and more excited for it to end and to begin my life! I literally graduate and a few weeks later get hitched, so I feel I will literally be starting my life! Haha! It is scary and exciting but I feel so alone at times but my honey is great and just wants me/us to be happy and he has really stepped up as my support system but it has challenged us and I feel made us even closer! Cause it really is our wedding since no one else is involved. However, I am still dealing with the family drama of not being onvilved , which is there/her choice, position. But that’s another story, anyways, congrats it’s almost here! Also, like you, all of my honeys family is coming from out of town and had their flights since February so I completely understand about no backing out and the deposits and whatnot

Post # 23
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - Ocean front

I’m sorry the wedding planning experience has not been a happy one for you.  ๐Ÿ™

I started out thinking, we are having a small wedding and so the planning will be a piece of CAKE but it’s really not any less work to be honest….you still have to line up all the components big OR small. 

I started out thinking, this wedding planning stuff just isnt so bad and quite easy.  I booked the major vendors fairly quickly (our venue, DJ, officiant, florist) just met with and connected immediately, hired and put down deposits….DONE! ๐Ÿ™‚  

I even said yes to my dress early on TOO!  That being said…I am starting to feel anxiety for the smaller detaily type of things such as exact timelline, decor (outside of what my venue offers) how much to actually spend on flowers and where to put them, picking songs for different parts of the wedding cermony and reception, which traditions to keep or not bother with, even if we want a sweetheart table (as neither of us like all attention focused on us…so that would seem very intimidating being right up in front of everyone…YIKES)

I think my issue is I dont much like loose ends…and so I think it best to get things all figured out sooner than later, as I DO have time (5/17 wedding) I have my first detail appt in couple weeks to get going in a particular direction with decor, layout of venue etc.  We have our tasting in June and I booked the rehearsal and final drop off appt.   Still need to find a cake vendor…hmmm???

I guess it’ll all come together and my FH is like “I trust ya babe” which is another way of saying…I really could care less about all those gatsy/girly details and will be there to marry you  though! haha

That has just given me the opportunity to have fun planning with the girls which works for ME and I just let him know how much he owes as we are paying for the whole thing!  

๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 24
Member
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
lknatbrghtsde:  I think it’s very easy to say you are ‘choosing your attitude’ when you are 6+ months out from the big day. No one chooses to be miserable planning the best day of their life. I am two weeks out from my own wedding, and as excited as I am to get married it has not been easy! I can’t speak for everyone, but there’s definitely more too it than choosing your attitue as you put it. Come back to this thread in 5 months and tell us how you feel then…

Post # 25
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
rainy578:  I think almost everybody wishes they hadn’t done it for at least a little while.  I am far from my family, have had friends just not be interested, and even had my (probably former) best friend flake on being Maid/Matron of Honor because she planned a wedding after I asked her to be in mine and then spent all her time complaining about every little detail of being in my wedding.  Sometimes it just gets to you.  I’ve even had more than a few freak out moments where I’ve wanted to bail on the entire thing, only to remember the deposits and the people who are expecting to travel out to see us get married.  And then I remember that after it’s all over, I’ll still be able to think back about hearing my fiancée say the vows he wrote and look at the photographs of us with our families.  So, I soldier on.  You are ALMOST there.  As my fiancée would tell me, don’t worry about the people that are getting you down.  They are gnats (even temporary ones) and they don’t matter as much as your fiancee and having a special day with him ๐Ÿ˜€

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