(Closed) Does anyone else have far away BMs?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I just sort of picked a dress. I bought all 4 from J Crew on sale and had them shipped to me. I had two of the girls try them on in NYC to make sure they weren’t awful and then shipped the other two to Chicago and Miami. None of my girls have difficult bodies to dress so we just went off the measurement guidelines online.

Post # 4
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

i have a Bridesmaid or Best Man who is traveling from Los Angeles while I am on the east coast. She is coming home for passover so that weekend we are going shopping.

Post # 5
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yeah – both of them and me are in three different states (that’s some grammar for you!).  My Maid/Matron of Honor lives near my mom.  My mom and I had emailed some dresses back and forth and looked at a few when she came to visit me in NC.  Then she and Maid/Matron of Honor went to shops near them and tried them on and picked one out.  The other Bridesmaid or Best Man ordered hers from the shop via the phone and it will ship to her.  Worked out well.  Other than that we email and call.  It’s lonely though, not gunna lie.  I wish they were nearby so we could go do stuff and have happy wedding moments like they have on TV. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’ve experienced both sides of the story.

Last year I was living in Thailand and bridesmaid for a friend in Sydney, Oz. We took my measurements before I left, she ordered a dress, and then it was altered three days before the wedding, which is when I arrived back in Sydney.

This year I’m the bride, and I’m the one who’s far away! Both my bridesmaids are in Sydney (where the wedding will be). I’m taking their measurements and then will have their dresses made here in Thailand.

I’ve been very lucky with my bridesmaids, but from the experience of moving away from my home country, have learned that not everyone is as great as keeping in touch as you’d like… and neither am I, sometimes! Embarassed

Anyway, all the best, and hope it works out for you!

 

Post # 7
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Both my sisters are a distance – one is 3 hours, the other is 7 hours. They are both my BMs (one is my Maid/Matron of Honor, and she is currently pregnant, due April/May). I pretty much do phone calls with both, as they are helping me deal with his family and keep myself sane.

Now, I do have a local Bridesmaid or Best Man, but she is so wrapped up in school that it’s hard to get her to do things. I’m just picking the dress and telling them what to each get (or I may just say ‘get this color in a short dress from DB’).

It’s sucks having them so far away, but it also means I can hit the decline button on the phone and they won’t show up at my door and drive me nuts!

Post # 8
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have two BMs who live in another state. Personally I dont think it matters how far away they live, I think its just about their attitude to the wedding. My BMS from out of state have bought their dresses already and the Bridesmaid or Best Man who lives right near me hasnt bought hers yet,even though I have offered to give her a ride to davids bridal.

Post # 9
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@loveknows:

Luckily I only have 2 BM’s and they are both out of state. One is my sister who lives in MO and the other is in CA.

When we started looking for BM’s gowns, i was emailing pictures, and were were all going back and forth through email, but nothing was getting accomplished. I decided to go out and find a gown that would look good on both of them. Once I picked it out, they were both jumped on getting their deposits in. Wow, if I knew it was going to be that easy I wouldn’t have wasted my time with email.

Post # 10
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have 6 BM’s only 2 of which are local. I basically picked a dress and told them to send me a check and their measurements 🙂

I send out mass facebook messages to keep them all updated. I know my one friend in California is sad that she is missing out on so much so she really enjoys knowing whats going on.

Post # 11
Member
3982 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I have one in AZ and we just text and Facebook. Sad but true. And as long as she has her dress and shows up on the right day to stand where I need her to, I will consider that a job well done! She isn’t here to plan things like the other girls are so I can’t expect her to do as much in that regard.

Post # 12
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My Maid/Matron of Honor is about five hours away. I do find the dress thing to be the main challlenge. She has a very hectic life and three kids, but it’s been close to a month since I decided on the dress designer and color and she still hasn’t gone to a store to try anything on! And my other Bridesmaid or Best Man keeps telling me we need to order by the end of this month in order to have time for any alterations. I keep sending my Maid/Matron of Honor e-mails to gently nudge her but now she says she’s waiting until the other girls pick their dresses so she can get something to coordinate, even though I told her, she’s the Maid/Matron of Honor, she can wear what she wants as long as it’s the same color. Gah.

Post # 13
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Luckily I only have 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man, but she lives almost 9 hrs away.. I was going to have a Maid/Matron of Honor also that lives 2 1/2 hrs away but the Fiance doesn’t really want to ask anyone else but his Best Man to be in the wedding so I narrowed mine down to just my best friend. We have been emailing a lot on the dresses, she ordered hers this past weekend once we had agreed to 1 we both liked that wasn’t outrageous price wise.

Post # 14
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

i have one in Arizona and one in Calfornia. it took a little more work to coordinate with them because they are both so busy and i dont think they understood the deadlines we had. So i would just send them texts and see where they were with putting in orders for shoes and dresses and asked if i could help at all. most of the time they got the hint and took care of it. i would just be really nice but maybe give them some dates to work with. most people work well with some sort of timeline.

Post # 15
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yes, all of mine were at least two hours away. One was halfway across the country! We e-mailed back and forth a lot and talked on the phone. I put my Maid/Matron of Honor in charge of contacting all the girls and she did a great job! As for dresses, I went with two of my girls (out of the four) who could be there on the same weekend and we picked out a dress.

Post # 16
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I was living in CA for most of my planning and TX for the end of it.  I had 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man in Oregon, 1 in Indiana, 1 in North Carolina, and 3 in Georgia (but two of them travelled for work every week so were only in GA on weekends).

We just did a lot of things over email.  I narrowed down dress choices, emailed for opinions, and then sent them my final decision.  They went and got measured where ever they lived and sent out sizes so we could order.

Don’t forget that your wedding is still a ways off (in the minds of your BMs) and that no one will ever think you wedding is as important as you do.  I’m sure it isn’t that they aren’t taking it seriously – it just isn’t as much of a priority to them as it is to you.

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