(Closed) Does anyone else NOT have an engagement ring but are engaged?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t have one (and don’t want one) and neither do a lot of my friends.  We are buying wedding bands, but not an engagement ring.  I have one married friend who got an engagement ring, but she is definitely the odd one out in our group.  It is much more common amongst my friends to not have one than to have one.

Post # 4
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Nope, not one of kind, sorry. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t!  And I don’t plan on getting one either.  My Fiance knows that I don’t like jewelry, so it would be a total waste on me.  I’ve never worn a single piece of jewelry in my life!  No lies here…no earrings (ears aren’t pierced and never will be), no necklace, no watch, no rings, no bracelets.  I don’t know exactly why, but ever since I was a young child, I just didn’t like it or the touch of it on my skin.  To this day, I really hate when people ask me to help them put in an earring or clasp a necklace or bracelet.  

So when the talks of marriage came up, I asked Fiance not to waste money on an engagement ring.  We spoke of wedding rings and I agreed to wear one (still not sure how I will actually manage the feat), but I don’t understand why I need two rings!  So a wedding ring is all for me.  And we haven’t begun shopping for that; I am putting it off for as long as possible.  I have to think I may be one of the few women who dislikes jewelry.  I mean, diamonds are pretty, but they don’t do anything for me.  

Friends and family who know of my jewelry phobia don’t even bat an eye.  But when strangers or acquaintances learn of my engagement, they always ask to see the ring.  Then I have to explain.  But yes, we are truly engaged.  Engagement party next month, venue booked, photographers booked, rehearsal dinner booked, entertainment booked, and I bought THE dress!

Post # 6
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t have an engagement ring. Her and my Future Father-In-Law both just have plain, simple gold wedding bands. They got engaged and married within a matter of weeks and simply thought that being married was more important to them then having a fancy wedding or an e-ring. I think it’s quite romantic, although it was important to me to have a ring. I love looking at their wedding bands. They are worn, and beautiful, nearly a part of their hand.

Post # 7
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If we did not already have a family diamond to use, I would not have had an engagement ring.  Not that my husband would not have bought one, but because I really don’t see the need for it. 

Yes, I have a beautiful engagement ring and I love wearing it.  We had the diamond set in a pave setting with a matching wedding band and I wear both together. 

But just this morning, I was thinking that had we not had that diamond, I’d have been just as  happy with just a wedding band…though I think I’d have gotten an eternity band rather than a plain band.  I just wouldn’t have been comfortable with my husband spending thousands of dollars on an engagement ring, when it is the wedding ring that is the important part.

Post # 8
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I didn’t have an engagement ring for at least 5 months after we decided to get married. I was planning without one and have to say I was pretty embarassed and felt awkward buying a wedding dress without one but oh well. One of my friends is choosing not to have one, she only wants one ring. If you really want one, I would suggest to your fiance that you go look at some. I know alot of couples who actually picked out the ring together. Sometimes guys just don’t know what their girl will want. Also, if you plan on marrying this guy you should feel comfortable enough with him to suggest looking for a ring together.

Post # 9
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I didnt have one for a while. One of my best friends just got engaged, and is in full planning mode (church booked, etc) and she doesnt have a ring.  I dont think its that big of a deal. Its fun to see the ring on your finger and all, but really, it will be there for the rest of your life, so a few extra months is no biggie.

Post # 10
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My sister didn’t have an ering.  She does have a really nice wedding band.  Did I find it weird?  No, not really.

Post # 11
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t have a ring – I didn’t feel it necessary for him to give me a ring when It was I who  asked him to marry me. 

We had a talk over a great dinner & wine & I explained all the reasons I wanted to have his last name & be his wife!  We decided after 7 years it was time….. 

We are in the process of buying a house & I just feel like I have always loved sapphires all my life (my birthstone) & every special ring has been my birthstone – so we are going with a sapphire & diamond ring, attached to a white gold band & just exchange one ring on the big day – 10.10.10

Post # 12
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I had a friend who bought wedding bands and they both wore them during their engagement. It’s all about doing whatever makes you happy

Post # 13
Member
5 posts
Newbee

I don’t have an e-ring… yet. Fiance proposed Monday night while cuddling in bed. He said it just came to him, that he couldn’t wait a second more. I have been heavily involved in designing a ring since we started talking about the future. My ring wont be available until September at the earliest, since it is being custom made. He is refusing to let me yell it from the roof tops / facebook (he didn’t say anything about WB) until he talks to my parents.

I had to do some convincing that the ring didn’t matter as much as the commitment. I think he worries people will see him as “cheap” but honestly, the wedding ring and verbal commitment mean far more to me.

I feel just as engaged without a ring. But maybe it is skewed because I know a ring is coming…

Post # 14
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

You’re definitely not the only one.  My mom didn’t get an engagement ring (she proposed to my dad) and they didn’t even get wedding bands until seven years into their marriage!  My mom got pregnant with my brother and she didn’t want people thinking she was unwed, so she went out and got wedding bands for my dad and her.  Then, on their 15th wedding anniversary, they decided to get her an engagement ring, haha!

Post # 15
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

No, you don’t need one.  Lots of people just have wedding bands.  Lots of people who have been married for a while and have engagement rings, don’t even wear them for one reason or another.

Post # 16
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

i didn’t have any ring until the day before our wedding, but like hunybrown i was the one who did the asking, so it didn’t really matter.  some of my family members gave me a hard time, in a joking way.  many of my coworkers were flat out rude and snarky about it.  you are not alone, and your friends may think it’s weird, but don’t let anyone insult you over it.  in the end i did recieve a 2 ring set, as a gift from my man who found the means to give me something pretty.  but it was and really shouldn’t be a factor in whether you are going to marry someone. 

i also know many couples, mostly older and wiser ones, who did not do the engagement ring thing and just have wedding bands.  they are nice and sparkly and pretty, but money is often times better spent elsewhere.

the relationship and intent is what truly matters.  a ring is just a symbol, and can easily be taken right back off.  so don’t feel weird, you’re in good company.

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