Does anyone else not really love holding babies?

posted 2 years ago in Babies
Post # 16
Member
9813 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yeah, I was never a fan of holding babies.  I was terrified I think.  So I never really volunteered or wanted to, I just felt awkward.  But I LOVE holding my own and once I had my own I really grew to love babies.  So now I love holding little babies (mostly my friends babies though)! haha.  I would hold my own all day long.

Post # 17
Member
6087 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I like babies well enough. I liked them a lot more before I had one of my own and did a form of attachment parenting and kept him close to me almost constantly. (I didn’t even like to let others hold him much but that was due to anxiety and not trusting people more than anything else). I mostly skipped wine and drinks for 2.5 years while I was nursing and was often the one to depart family gatherings and parties to change diapers and/or prep him for bed and/or deal with meltdowns. So by the time he was old enough to run around on his own I was all “FREEDOM! Happy days are here again!”

Around that time one of my SILs had a baby and she kept trying to hand me the darn thing. I was like “Girl, I JUST got done holding a baby all the time. I do not want to hold your baby. I’m trying to drink wine. Step off.”

I know it was because she was tired and was trying to get a break and I think she thought I might be too shy to ask but, seriously, I was like “Hand that baby to her father. Get away from me.”

When she had her second baby it was like 5 months before I held that one and I think I’ve only held him three times total since he came out the womb. Get away from me, people. Put it on the floor or something. If I want to hold another baby I will acquire one of my own, thank you.

Post # 18
Member
284 posts
Helper bee

I am pretty obsessed with babies, but my mom is not AT ALL. She loved her own babies, and is one of the most affectionate people I know, but more often than not if someone asked if she wants to hold the baby the answer is “not really.” It’s still that way and I think she has SHOCKED some of her friends by showing no interest in holding their grandkids. 

Post # 19
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’ve always disliked holding babies. It stresses me out. It’s like as soon as someone shoves their squawky potato into my arms, I go from “Yay! Socializing!” to “Oh boy… here we go. I guess now we’re holding this baby… Don’t make that face, you’ll offend the parents. Everyone is staring at you, so just focus on not dropping it but don’t squeeze. I forgot how weird babies smell… ew. What do I do now? Babies like to be bounced, right? … Right? Well, we’re bouncing. Just commit to it and bounce count to 30, but not out loud. Just hope you don’t get puked on and pretend to enjoy this just long enough to be able to pass it off to the cooing lady next to you without looking like a jerk…” 

Post # 20
Member
4877 posts
Honey bee

I think this will be me too. I’m always afraid I’ll trip or something or drop the baby. I’m fine if I’m sitting though. I’m a very awkward person so I think that’s why. I think you were mostly worried about germs to be honest. I wouldn’t worry. 

Post # 21
Member
453 posts
Helper bee

One of my biggest fears is that when I’m passed a baby to hold, they’ll start crying immediately, haha. I make an exception for my best friend’s baby because I love her and her kid. Your love for your kid will immediately outweigh my love for my best friend so I’m sure you’ll be fine. I think you’re reading into things a bit too much – no one likes to hold a sick person close, baby or not. This isn’t at all a reflection of how maternal you’ll be. I think your Darling Husband was actually trying to pass the buck so he wouldn’t be stuck holding a sick baby. wink

Post # 22
Member
9608 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

To me it’s the same for babies as it is with puppies and kitties.  I WANNA HOLD I WANNA HOLD I WANNA HOLD.  *they are in my arms/on my lap* OK I’M DONE.  I WANT MY HANDS/LAP FREE NOW.

*shrug*

I figure i’ll have to babywear my kid a lot for that reason.. lol.

Post # 23
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I have two of my own that I love holding and cuddling all day long, but I have NEVER liked holding other people’s babies. Not before I had kids and not now, I don’t hate it but I find no pleasure in it either. If someone asks me to hold their kid for two minutes it’s fine and I feel totally comfortable doing it, but I would never ask to hold a baby. I think it’s totally normal and you don’t need practice. You will figure out how to hold your kid no matter what and will probably love it. 

Post # 24
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

When I was younger I got called out by an Aunt who questioned why I didn’t like coo-ing over/holding her baby like all my other cousins. She made me feel so bad and said I didn’t have “maternal instincts” like all the other girls. Wtf. I’ve never been fond of little kids/babies, but since having my own children it’s so different. Everyone’s different, some people love babies/children in general, some only like their own. Nothing wrong with that haha 

Post # 25
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

I hate holding babies. I don’t really like babies and I think they start actually being people at around age 2 or 3. My sister recently had her first baby and I opted not to hold him. There’s just so much that can go wrong with babies, it terrifies me 🙁 I’m currently CFBC as I’m deathly afraid of pregnancy/birth, but if Fiance and I ever decide we want kids we are both on board for adopting a child that’s at least 2, maybe older.

Post # 26
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

lula0508 :  I have a 15 month old and pregnant with #2. Still don’t want to hold other people’s kids. Can’t pass them off fast enough. There is something so different with your own.

Post # 27
Member
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m not into babies. My baby, but that’s it. 

Post # 28
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

lula0508 :  I’m right there with you! I’m not a baby or kid person AT ALL! But I can’t wait to have a family with FH :o) My mom has assured me that she was never a baby person either, but it’s different with your own kids. 

Post # 29
Member
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

You’ve reminded me of my second pregnancy! Now I’ve always loved holding babies but I went right off them when pregnant with my second. It was weird and like you, I was a little worried it meant something. In the event I bonded instantly with baby number two. 

I remember hopefully peering into prams and pushchairs and seeing pasty faced blobs with goggle eyes and runny noses, where had all the scrumptious babies gone? They returned once I had delivered.

Post # 30
Member
1358 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2027

lula0508 :  I love my children and I love my nephews and my cousin’s kids who are like nieces and nephews, that is as far as it goes. 

I have a 6 month old nephew and even with him, and his brothers, I am have never been one to just sit and cuddle/play with them. Now, I will rock them and hold them while they sleep all day. But I am just not a baby/kid person and I have found there are plenty like me. 

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