(Closed) does anyone else not want a wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Elopement
  • poll: what do you suggest

    get married on holidays then have a gathering to celebrate getting married

    tell parents first we dont want a wedding then go on holidays and get married

    have a "normal" wedding you might like it

    have a wedding with no alchol

  • Post # 2
    129 posts
    Blushing bee

    I do not blame you at all for not wanting the big wedding. Form what I read about your situation eloping or something small is the way to go.

    I’m doing something really small for financial reasons (I can’t afford the big wedding nor do I want to spend the money) and also I hate being the center of attention and do not want the stress of pleasing 200 people. My Aunts are very critical and sometimes judgmental.

    My advice is don’t cheat yourself-if you want to wear a wedding dress, do it, go out for a nice dinner have pictures taken etc. This is what I plan on doing. Best of luck to you! Do what makes you happy! May the both of you enjoy YOUR day!

    Post # 3
    2762 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Elope! Elope! Elope! It doesn’t have to be a courthouse affair you know? Plan your elopement however you want it (the dress, flowers, whatever you really want), hire an officiant, minister, whatever strikes your fancy. get married on a beach, mountaintop, the desert….Google “all inclusive elopements” wherever you want. And have the wedding you want!

    Post # 4
    256 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    My 1st marriage I eloped at a courthouse my 1st year of college (young & dumb). This go around, BF and I have agreed to just go on a vacation and come back married.  I’m 37, he’s 40, I have 3 teenagers, one of which will be shipping out to Navy soon, so I’d rather just not have to think about the stress of planning something.

    My parents hate this idea.  They’ve always wanted to see their only little girl married in a church somewhere, but it’s just not us.  

    I say do what you feel comfortable with.  A marriage is about you & your sweetie, not a big dress, drunk relatives, or stressful planning.

    Post # 5
    358 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    cmbee:  we are not planning a wedding either!  we don’t want a big deal to be made and my SO’s parents are divorced and they DO NOT get along –  they can’t even be in the same room together.   we are planning on doing a few days or a weekend in vegas and inviting his dad and my mom for a “vacation” and then have a surprise wedding with followed by some shows, drinking and gambling!

    Post # 6
    203 posts
    Helper bee

    I have NEVER wanted a wedding, never dreamed of it as a little girl. Now that the SO and I are talking marriage, we both said we don’t want a wedding.  We’re planning to elope or have a private ceremony with his son and mom, my sister and Brother-In-Law, and my best friend and married by a retired minister who is a dear freind of mine.  I don’t plan to invite my father unless his wife (NOT my mother) is working…sounds horrible, but I know she’ll ruin the day. 

    We’re both 40, so we don’t care about the hoopla.  Why pay to feed and entertain people when they won’t care or will criticize you later.  Make it about the two of you.  

    Post # 7
    670 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Having to change the date of my wedding not once, but TWICE, I’m kinda over it.  We’ve had a lot going on with family lillness.  We are having a small ceremony with a resturant reception after.  We are having about 25 people.  I wish it was more like 15 . . . ha!  I’d be fine with a courthouse wedding, but it would crush his mom.  So small wedding it is.  Plus I love all the little wedding things I’ve been buying for the big day.  I just don’t want all hubbub and drama from potential drunkies.

    Post # 8
    1 posts

    I was beginning to think I was the only one who doesn’t want a wedding! It’s not a financial thing for me, it’s just a preference. I would rather invest money elsewhere or spend more on the honeymoon! I will be having a *small* ceremony with my family and FH’s fam. Perhaps a small family get together after we return from the honeymoon. Some people think it’s weird to not have a wedding, but if it’s right for you, do it! I’m excited about mine.

    Post # 9
    82 posts
    Worker bee

    I’m kind of torn between what I would like to do. I would like some of the cute wedding/reception stuff and while it isn’t super important, I’m torn between doing that and having a small wedding to appease everyone or eloping with a small group of friends. We mentioned eloping but agreed we want to plan a little something. We’ll see. We don’t want to spend a lot of money on it if we don’t have to.

    Post # 10
    815 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I want to be a bride. I am indifferent to having a wedding. Big parties and events have never been my thing.

    However, I have always very much wanted to be sure to take the time and $ necessary to travel with my family. So instead of a wedding we are taking a big trip to a place none of us have been (me, my fiance, and his little daughter) to kick off our life together that way. It just seemed like a better place to spend the money.

    I will absolutely be wearing the dress and all however 🙂

    Post # 11
    77 posts
    Worker bee

    I totally understand and relate to you,  me and my SO are getting married in Vegas next month just me and him it will be a nice ceremony, I hate all eyes on , we have a 14 month old  a wedding wasnt really a priority,  the only thing I feel bsd is that my baby wont be going with us to Vegas! And im kinda sad sbout leaving him.

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