Post # 1
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
I hate being the center of attention and my family is a little bit crazy Im sure they will be loud ,embarrasing and fight with eachother at the wedding since my mum and dad dont talk and they are both aussie bogans when drunk same with my sisters pretty much my whole family is embarrasing especially when they drink, while my fiances family is so conventional “normal” they are all nice to each other so kind and caring have regular jobs are still married. My fiances friends all hate me i just know it they never talk to me or invite me to gatherings i hardly know them but when we get together i try to talk to them and they snob me its just all so awkward they wont even add me on facebook. I dont talk to anyone not even my family really or his family nobody ever asks how im going or what ive been up to i could go missing and nobody would know the difference lol (except fiance) must i really have this zoo like ceremony for everyone to come have a stick beak on my business all for some free food and booze? i mean do these people even care what is going on with my life or his nobody cares any other day, most of these people havent even seen our house we bought a year ago,. Must i really pay so much money to be put on show for a few hours and feed these “guests” i would much rather save the money and have an extended holiday in a nice place like the greek islands or magical peru mabey get married on top of a mountain and when we come home hire out a hall and have a casual gathering like a byo little small event to show pictures and mabey a video of how we got married and celebrate our time together that way i think only the people that actually care would come and getting married will be a magical thing between the two of us as the hole relationship has been just us. i know everyones circumstance is different and weddings are nice but its not where you are its who your with that counts and being in a room full of crazy relatives and jealous “friends” is not an ideal situation for anyone i dont want to hold my breathe the hole wedding hoping world war 3 doesnt break out ant any given moment. arrrr what should i do how do we tell the parents or do we just run away do it then hold the “gathering”
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This topic was modified 4 years ago by cmbee.
Post # 2
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
I do not blame you at all for not wanting the big wedding. Form what I read about your situation eloping or something small is the way to go.
I’m doing something really small for financial reasons (I can’t afford the big wedding nor do I want to spend the money) and also I hate being the center of attention and do not want the stress of pleasing 200 people. My Aunts are very critical and sometimes judgmental.
My advice is don’t cheat yourself-if you want to wear a wedding dress, do it, go out for a nice dinner have pictures taken etc. This is what I plan on doing. Best of luck to you! Do what makes you happy! May the both of you enjoy YOUR day!
Post # 3
Member
2900 posts
Sugar bee
Elope! Elope! Elope! It doesn’t have to be a courthouse affair you know? Plan your elopement however you want it (the dress, flowers, whatever you really want), hire an officiant, minister, whatever strikes your fancy. get married on a beach, mountaintop, the desert….Google “all inclusive elopements” wherever you want. And have the wedding you want!
Post # 4
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
My 1st marriage I eloped at a courthouse my 1st year of college (young & dumb). This go around, Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have agreed to just go on a vacation and come back married. I’m 37, he’s 40, I have 3 teenagers, one of which will be shipping out to Navy soon, so I’d rather just not have to think about the stress of planning something.
My parents hate this idea. They’ve always wanted to see their only little girl married in a church somewhere, but it’s just not us.
I say do what you feel comfortable with. A marriage is about you & your sweetie, not a big dress, drunk relatives, or stressful planning.
Post # 5
Member
358 posts
Helper bee
cmbee: we are not planning a wedding either! we don’t want a big deal to be made and my SO’s parents are divorced and they DO NOT get along – they can’t even be in the same room together. we are planning on doing a few days or a weekend in vegas and inviting his dad and my mom for a “vacation” and then have a surprise wedding with followed by some shows, drinking and gambling!
Post # 6
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
I have NEVER wanted a wedding, never dreamed of it as a little girl. Now that the SO and I are talking marriage, we both said we don’t want a wedding. We’re planning to elope or have a private ceremony with his son and mom, my sister and BIL, and my best friend and married by a retired minister who is a dear freind of mine. I don’t plan to invite my father unless his wife (NOT my mother) is working…sounds horrible, but I know she’ll ruin the day.
We’re both 40, so we don’t care about the hoopla. Why pay to feed and entertain people when they won’t care or will criticize you later. Make it about the two of you.
Post # 7
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
Having to change the date of my wedding not once, but TWICE, I’m kinda over it. We’ve had a lot going on with family lillness. We are having a small ceremony with a resturant reception after. We are having about 25 people. I wish it was more like 15 . . . ha! I’d be fine with a courthouse wedding, but it would crush his mom. So small wedding it is. Plus I love all the little wedding things I’ve been buying for the big day. I just don’t want all hubbub and drama from potential drunkies.
Post # 8
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
I was beginning to think I was the only one who doesn’t want a wedding! It’s not a financial thing for me, it’s just a preference. I would rather invest money elsewhere or spend more on the honeymoon! I will be having a *small* ceremony with my family and FH’s fam. Perhaps a small family get together after we return from the honeymoon. Some people think it’s weird to not have a wedding, but if it’s right for you, do it! I’m excited about mine.
Post # 9
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
I’m kind of torn between what I would like to do. I would like some of the cute wedding/reception stuff and while it isn’t super important, I’m torn between doing that and having a small wedding to appease everyone or eloping with a small group of friends. We mentioned eloping but agreed we want to plan a little something. We’ll see. We don’t want to spend a lot of money on it if we don’t have to.
Post # 10
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
I want to be a bride. I am indifferent to having a wedding. Big parties and events have never been my thing.
However, I have always very much wanted to be sure to take the time and $ necessary to travel with my family. So instead of a wedding we are taking a big trip to a place none of us have been (me, my fiance, and his little daughter) to kick off our life together that way. It just seemed like a better place to spend the money.
I will absolutely be wearing the dress and all however 🙂
Post # 11
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
I totally understand and relate to you, me and my SO are getting married in Vegas next month just me and him it will be a nice ceremony, I hate all eyes on , we have a 14 month old a wedding wasnt really a priority, the only thing I feel bsd is that my baby wont be going with us to Vegas! And im kinda sad sbout leaving him.
