(Closed) Does anyone else think this is wrong?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think its kinda weird of her to be acting this way. Does she usually try to one-up you or is it just since you got engaged? I would have a chat with her and let her know what you told us. That you will be on your honeymoon that week and also wont have the funds for her wedding since you just had yours!! If you’re having regrets on asking her to be a part of your day and since she is hypothetically having her wedding the same time as yours, maybe you can give her the opportunity to back down since she will be busy with her own wedding. Also, I would probably stop sharing wedding ideas and things with her ASAP. Why is she wanting to go dress shopping on the same day as you??

To answer your question, yes, its kinda messed up that a good friend would be acting this way lol! Good luck and let us know how things go!

Post # 4
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

If someone is acting like that, they’re clearly not trying to be a supportive friend. I’m generally pretty calm, but saying she wants to look at dresses is ridiculous and odd. She can make her own appointment if she wants to try on dresses before being engaged. I don’t know both sides of the situation, but she sounds a bit envious that you’re engaged and planning and she is not.

As far as the date thing, the majority response to that will be: You get one day, not a month. And no matter how much earlier you were engaged, that doesn’t change. She could get engaged in January 2013, but if she wanted to get married in March 2013 that’s her prerogative. She can’t expect you to take a week off work after you’ll probably arleady have taken off for your own wedding and honeymoon. And you don’t have to. You also don’t have to accept if she asks you and your partner to be in the wedding party. You can politely decline, citing that your own wedding stress will be taking up a lot of your time and resources.

Post # 5
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Uhhh yeah! That sounds pretty wrong to me. This girl sounds a tad inconsiderate. I got engaged a few months after my BFF and I purposely picked a date four months after hers, even though I really REALLY wanted a date the same month as her. I value our friendship too much to let something as small as a few months come between us. You should sit down and have a calm, sober conversation with her about how you feel.

Post # 6
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

She’s jealous of the attention. That’s EXACTLY what’s going on here. She jealous that you’re engaged, you’re getting all the attention for your wedding stuff and that you’re getting married. Is she “waiting”?

You need to talk to her. Tell her that her behavior is not acceptable and that these wedding events need to be about you and your fiance, not her. Is she talking about trying on dresses the same day as you, with you? If so, you need to squash that real quick.

I’m so sorry she’s being like this. I hope you can talk some sense into her or let her go so she doesn’t spoil your planning.

Post # 7
Member
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If she is not engaged no way she should be trying on dresses! Ugh.

Attention seeking bridesmaids. *sigh*

I would have a serious talk with her, and if she can’t see reason consider asking her to step down.

I sincerely wish I had done this with one of my bridesmaids. Hindsight is a wonderful thing!

Post # 8
Member
4125 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

She sounds as though she has screw loose. I agree with PPs that you need to have a talk with her and stop sharing information. Best of luck.

Post # 9
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Oh dear I have a friend just like that, my advice to you is to offer her the out of your wedding and stop including her in your planning.

Post # 10
Member
841 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m not engaged yet but I already know when I will be, and we’ve both set a wedding date. is that what it’s like with her too? or does her bf not even know she’s planning to be married in that month? lol

sucks to have that sort of drama!

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