Post # 1
Ok the issue is with one of my close friends who is a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I made the mistake of asking her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man before my engagement party, stupid me. Reason being is through my entier engagement party when pplz were coming up to me and congratulating me, telling my how woderful i looked ect. she kept turning the convo about her “i helpd do her hair’ (which she did), ‘I helpd with the cake’ (she handed me strawberries?) which was tolorable til she got drunk started lifting her dress (she was wearing shorts under thank god) and showing pplz her tattoo (its on her ribs) and other wonderful things along the same lines. Now i had a lot of earlderly family at the party and i can tell you none of my family and most of my guest where not impressed with this behaviour.
Now i’ve be planning for bout a month, picked a date, booked and payed for my venue and reception (well deposit) and photographer all of which she knows. The other day we caught up for dinner and she starts tell me that she’s going to get married in march 2013 (same month as me???) and she wants to get married at the coast so we’ll hav to hire a room down there and i’ll prob hav to take a week off work b4 her wedding to help her organise? Does she not realise i’m going 2 b on my honeymoon? And me and my partner prob wont hav the money to be in their wedding party. Then just to ice the cake i have finally organised a day to go look at dresses with my family and friends (this sat) only to hav her turn the me on the same night she’s telling me everything else tat she can’t wait til sat so she can try on some dresses?
Is it just me or is tat wrong?
p.s. also she’s not even engaged yet
Post # 3
I think its kinda weird of her to be acting this way. Does she usually try to one-up you or is it just since you got engaged? I would have a chat with her and let her know what you told us. That you will be on your honeymoon that week and also wont have the funds for her wedding since you just had yours!! If you’re having regrets on asking her to be a part of your day and since she is hypothetically having her wedding the same time as yours, maybe you can give her the opportunity to back down since she will be busy with her own wedding. Also, I would probably stop sharing wedding ideas and things with her ASAP. Why is she wanting to go dress shopping on the same day as you??
To answer your question, yes, its kinda messed up that a good friend would be acting this way lol! Good luck and let us know how things go!
Post # 4
If someone is acting like that, they’re clearly not trying to be a supportive friend. I’m generally pretty calm, but saying she wants to look at dresses is ridiculous and odd. She can make her own appointment if she wants to try on dresses before being engaged. I don’t know both sides of the situation, but she sounds a bit envious that you’re engaged and planning and she is not.
As far as the date thing, the majority response to that will be: You get one day, not a month. And no matter how much earlier you were engaged, that doesn’t change. She could get engaged in January 2013, but if she wanted to get married in March 2013 that’s her prerogative. She can’t expect you to take a week off work after you’ll probably arleady have taken off for your own wedding and honeymoon. And you don’t have to. You also don’t have to accept if she asks you and your partner to be in the wedding party. You can politely decline, citing that your own wedding stress will be taking up a lot of your time and resources.
Post # 5
Uhhh yeah! That sounds pretty wrong to me. This girl sounds a tad inconsiderate. I got engaged a few months after my BFF and I purposely picked a date four months after hers, even though I really REALLY wanted a date the same month as her. I value our friendship too much to let something as small as a few months come between us. You should sit down and have a calm, sober conversation with her about how you feel.
Post # 6
She’s jealous of the attention. That’s EXACTLY what’s going on here. She jealous that you’re engaged, you’re getting all the attention for your wedding stuff and that you’re getting married. Is she “waiting”?
You need to talk to her. Tell her that her behavior is not acceptable and that these wedding events need to be about you and your fiance, not her. Is she talking about trying on dresses the same day as you, with you? If so, you need to squash that real quick.
I’m so sorry she’s being like this. I hope you can talk some sense into her or let her go so she doesn’t spoil your planning.
Post # 7
If she is not engaged no way she should be trying on dresses! Ugh.
Attention seeking bridesmaids. *sigh*
I would have a serious talk with her, and if she can’t see reason consider asking her to step down.
I sincerely wish I had done this with one of my bridesmaids. Hindsight is a wonderful thing!
Post # 8
She sounds as though she has screw loose. I agree with PPs that you need to have a talk with her and stop sharing information. Best of luck.
Post # 9
Oh dear I have a friend just like that, my advice to you is to offer her the out of your wedding and stop including her in your planning.
Post # 10
I’m not engaged yet but I already know when I will be, and we’ve both set a wedding date. is that what it’s like with her too? or does her bf not even know she’s planning to be married in that month? lol
sucks to have that sort of drama!
Post # 11
hey guys, to answer sum of ur questions,
1) no her bf doesn’t kno tats wen she wants to get married, he said march or september the yr after (2014), i’m guessing so he has time to save for her engagment ring and party
2) i think she is jealous, her friend just got married and she was a Bridesmaid or Best Man and now me too
i was thinking about asking her to not b a Bridesmaid or Best Man to sav drama plus my FH is only has 1 groomsman atm and i’m kinda a lil ocd and would lyk even numbers but the above mentiond friend kinda cut her out of evrything to do with her wedding. Picking Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, looking at wedding dresses, planning the wedding hens and shower ect but included all the other BMs and it really upset her to b left out. I don’t want to b lyk tat but to be honest i can understand y her friend did it