(Closed) Does anyone else want to keep their last name?

posted 9 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m not changing mine.  If there are kids someday, we might have to figure something out… but in the meantime, I’ll still be Doctor Girl.

Post # 4
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m keeping mine. It is an emotional issue for me because I’m not sure I want to change it — it’s mine, and he’s not changing anything, but I would want to if he wanted me to. But no… so I am torn. I might consider changing it in the future. You could find a lot of responses on this topic if you searched. What are you thoughts about why you want to keep yours?

Post # 5
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I go back and forth all the time — I LOVE my name.  I know my Fiance would like it if I changed it (I’d like it if he changed to mine too) but is completely fine with whatever I choose.

The latest idea that we’ve come up with is to each take each other’s in a way

I’d be: First Middle Maiden HisLast

and

he’d be: First Middle MyMaiden His Last

So basically we’d both be having my maiden name as a second middle name.  I’d go by First Maiden HisLast all the time though because I can’t imagine being addressed without my name. 

That’s the solution right now.. we’re just contemplating it for awhile longer.  I’m really excited about it because we’d BOTH have to change and take part of each other’s name.  I’d hyphenate, but I don’t want to be the only one, and he’s got some weird thing about hyphens, just doesn’t like how they look. 

Anyway, I feel your pain.  It’s been the hardest part personally of the wedding process.  I spend more time contemplating my name than almost everything else! 

 

Post # 6
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I don’t want to change mine but my Fiance thinks that I have to because it makes him look like and feel like less of a man or something like that. I told him I would change but I would have my name with a hyphen for professional purposes. Plus I have a unique last name that I wouldn’t want to give up for a more "run of the mill" last name.

Post # 7
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I wouldn’t even entertain the thought of changing my name… it is MY NAME afterall. I’m no less me and no more him after the marriage. That’s not what I am bringing to this. I’m simply offering me, as myself, to support and be faithful to Fiance, as himself. No need for change or evolution of our selves, come as you are.

So, never going to change MY name.

Post # 8
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I ended up changing it, but kept my maiden name as a middle name.  I didn’t want to lose my name completely but I want our future kids to have the same name as both of us.

Post # 10
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Hmm… I DID change my name in January, and I’m still having some issues with it.  I really loved my last name, and his is…different…

I have a hard time signing my new name, and introducing myself with my new last name.  I feel like I’m pretending to be someone else sometimes.  I’m sure I will get used to it, and although sometimes I wish I had kept my name, I know it means a lot to him that I changed mine, and I love that when we have kids we will all have the same last name.  I feel weird about changing it until I think that my mom didn’t always have that last name – she had her own maiden name, but I love that she had the same last name as my dad and my brother and I…. sooo… I guess it will just take some time to get used to.

Post # 11
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I originally didn’t want to give my maiden name up but in the end I settled for:First Maiden Married. I lost my original middle name at the expense of my maiden name.

Professionally though I have remained First Maiden, which is kind of interesting. I don’t think they plan on changing any time soon.

Post # 12
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1990

I do, I don’t tell my fiance but I’m sad about losing that part of my identity.  I’m hyphenating professionally, which makes me feel better.

Post # 13
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

By The Way, my mom didn’t change her name. Wasn’t a big deal to me at all. If anything, it was a nice symbol. I honestly don’t think kids care.

Post # 14
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m keeping mine! I knew a girl growing up who was Myfirstname Hislastname and I didn’t like her! I can’t shake the association.

Plus, professionally I want to use Mylastname. I don’t want to loose my identity!

Post # 15
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I am changing my last name and have been wanting to since I was a child.  My name is Abaigael Smith Smith (*note "Smith" is not really my last name).  My parents did it this way b/c they thought that when I was an adult and getting married, I would always then have my madien name.  LOL!  They were one step ahead of the game! 

Post # 16
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I like retaining my family name, so I’m moving it to my middle name and dropping my existing middle name. I wanted to share a last name with my Fiance though, because although being "connected" to my family is important – by having a shared name – it’s more important to me to be connected to my husband and future children by having a shared name, creating our own family.

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