(Closed) Does anyone else want to keep their last name?

posted 10 years ago in Names
Post # 32
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

I decided after much consideration to change my name.  The decision was ultimately based on our desire to have kids soon after the wedding and wanting one family name.  I struggle with it a little though. Although I am deeply traditional, to the point that I am constantly surprising myself as I consider myself to be extremely liberal and progressive, I do feel a strong attachment to my name.  I think because my parents divorced when I was very young and I don’t know my father, and my mother has since remarried and she and my brothers have taken a different family name, for me my name has ties to no one except myself, and losing that name feels like abandoning part of who I am.

Post # 33
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

yeah I love my last name it rolls off the tongue, in Spanish it describes me exactly it feels perfect, I was debating on keeping it, hyphenating it or changing it; I’m a professional so my old colleagues know me as my maiden name, o once i change it they can never recognize it again; good thing I reconnected with old college schoolmates and med school mates on facebook while I’m still single.

 

However, I can see people get their names mixed up on documents when they hyphenate it, not good if it’s something important; when I asked my fiance, he said hmmmmm, you’ll take my last name. That was the end of that discussion. Deep down I agree and it’s cool having a married name

 

But I agree, it’s a little sad knowing I’m losing my last name it’s been a part of me my whole life, glad to hear I’m no the only one going through this, the nice thing is his name is similar to mine it has "or" and "e" in the first and last syllables, so it’ll still roll off the tongue, still kind of sad, symbolic of the new change I’ll be making

 

Since I’m filipino we retain our maiden name as our middle name so I won’t be losing it completely I just cant sign it as such anymore, oh well can’t have everything

Post # 34
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I feel bad for our descendants who research their geneaology.  Everyone does their own thing these days, lol.

I changed my name.  I am proud to bear his last name.  I was never particularly fond of my maiden name.  Not that I disliked it.  It was just "okay."  I think my name sounds better now.  I didn’t become another person by taking his last name, I just opened the door to the next chapter of my life.  🙂

Post # 35
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’ve known all along that I want to keep my maiden name somehow, but now that I’m nearing the big day I’m having a hard time deciding how to do it.  I do want to have the same last name as our future children, but my existing name is such a big part of my identity (both of our last names reflect our different ethnicities, so it’s important to me to hang onto mine).  I’ve thought about having two last names, but I think that eventually that would get cumbersome and I’d just go by his last name.  So it looks like the solution for me is going to be to hyphenate.  I don’t love it, but at least I get to have both.

Post # 36
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

@flamingred—it seemed like part of your debate is that you don’t want your new name to be Smith (or I guess something as common as Smith). Is your maiden name very unique?

There are things to be said both for unique names and for common names. I switched my last name from a unique name to a common name, and so far it’s not so bad (I kept my maiden name as a second middle name). The worst is that the secretary in HR at my company has the same last name and first initial as me, and she was here first, so she has what you would guess my email address would be (first initial last name) whereas mine is first initial, middle initial, last name. She’s gotten a few of my emails but otherwise life continues as usual. My husband has a very, very common name (both first and last). I can name a basketball player, an actor, and a famous statistician who all have his name. There are at least six of him in his dept of the government where he works, but he has had no trouble there. The most confusion was when he was living at home with his dad, because they are jr. and sr.

On the plus side, everyone can spell it and remember it easily. You can also maintain your maiden name as a middle name to give you some distinction. I was worried about the transition too but it’s not been as bad as I thought. So there’s my two cents 🙂

Post # 37
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I read a NYTimes article once about combining names.  My boyfriend at the time and I came up with a great way to combine the letters in our last names to form the new last name "Maharani" which means Queen in Hindi.  I think if we got married we may have seriously changed our last name together.  How’s that for non-sexist!?

Post # 38
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I love my last name so I plan to keep it.  My Fiance is fine with that.  I know its not traditional and maybe his parents are going to be upset… I don’t care, I want to keep it.

Post # 39
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I kept mine.  Like some others posted, my mom kept her name, so the thought of changing mine has always seemed alien. 

And as someone else described, my middle name is my mom’s maiden name, and I plan to continue that tradition.

Hubby and I talked about combining our name to create a new name, but nothing sounded good.

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