(Closed) Does anyone else worry about divorce rate statistics?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 61
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

I’m not too arrogant to assume I am immune from divorce. I know too many highly educated, very high income couples who married in their late twenties/early thirties who are now divorced, so though statistics are in their favor, it still very much happens.

If anything, it’s given me the humility to acknowledge that there will be hard times and that we will try our best and then some. 

I’ve also simply learned not to judge another couple’s relationship. You truly never know what’s going on, no matter how big the diamond is, how lavish the wedding was, and how much they kissy face all over the ‘gram. 

Post # 62
Member
6637 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

mermaidlagoon :  “Realistically though, if you really believe in the power of statisitics, most of those couples were NOT happy and the other reason they never divorced was because it would have been too much work or too much trouble, if not downright impossible.”

While I definitely do agree that divorce was much more difficult in the past, and often left women without any options for supporting themselves, I think you exaggerated when you said that MOST of those couples were not happy. Many, and likely the majority (over 50%), of those couples married for love and were happy. I do not believe that most of the couples married in the past were unhappy and wished for divorce. The power of statistics says that it is likely that about the same percentage of them were happy then as are happy now in first marriages, which does mean most of them.

 

Post # 63
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Nope.  Statistics can be scary for MANY things – not just marriage.  If I read statistics for everything I would probably never leave the house~!

Post # 64
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Soo I’ll be the first one and say that I do worry about it. There is a lot stake. I don’t focus on it and it does not change our relationship day to day but it’s something to think about at least. I would like to think we do things to do prevent that. We try to spend quality time together even when we are both very busy, we make bedroom time a priority. We try to do nice things for each other. All these are a normal part of any relationship but just try to make a conscious effort. 

Post # 65
Hostess
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I hear it all the time “you aren’t 30 and you got married? you’re life is ruined. The divorce rate is so high”. The BEST though, are the women I hear talking about how they will jsut get divorced if any big fight comes up. I follow Audrey and Jeremy Rolloff’s blog/company “Beating 50 Percent” and absolutely love it! Really gives hope for marriages 🙂 If you feel worried, I highly suggest reading some of their articles! Every marriage requires work, and we can only do our best 🙂

Post # 66
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

steph91 :  I wouldn’t give too much credit to a couple writing articles on how not to get divorced…who have been married only for 2 years.

Post # 67
Member
3445 posts
Sugar bee

tealboxwhiteribbon1 :  for myself I worry. Don’t get me wrong, I married my best friend in June. His parents are still married (going on 40 years). My parents are divorced. My sister’s divorce is final on Wednesday. I have a lot going against me. However, going for me is we were dating 9 years before we got married. We didn’t rush into anything, which I think helps.

Post # 68
Hostess
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

mermaidlagoon :  Oh of course, they can’t exactly write on how not to get divorced after 2 years lol, sorry if that’s what you thought I meant! What I was trying to get across was I think its amazing that they are trying to encourage other couples (mostly younger like themselves) to build and maintain healthy and happy relationships through an online community, and strive to have a lasting, happy marriage. The amount of times I see divorce articles pop up on facebook, or on the news, it’s just so encouraging to read their positive writing and their struggles and such. Gives some hope!

Post # 69
Member
6458 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I see our getting married as celebrating that we are a family. We share a child and he, more than the wedding, makes us a family so divorce won’t be the end of that. We’ve also discussed the fact that we would remain a family if we dissolved the romantic element of our partnership. That conversation was inspired by the book The New I Do which invites people to explore the specifics of their partnership agreements and terms.

I don’t worry about divorce rates because I believe that we are both committed to finding ways to honor our family and keep it intact in ways that work for both of us. We do not live together (we have in the past), we are not in an open relationship (but could be in the future). We’re riding the waves of partnership and that makes me feel pretty secure in what we’re doing and how we’re moving forward.

Just as a same sex marriage is no threat to my relationship, someone else’s divorce means nothing about our status.

Post # 70
Member
2542 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

tealboxwhiteribbon1 :  No I don’t worry about that at all. I do think it is a sad however that people treat relationships so disposable. Often leaving children caught in the middle. I don’t worry because my husband and I weren’t caught up in some firey love storm that would surely burn out eventually. We knew eachother a long time, had a base of shared values and feelings about the sanctity of marriage, and wanted to get married for the purpose of choosing eachother for life. We work through our issues and re-commit to eachother through every rough patch. We aren’t religious, we have no one we answer to except ourselves, but we both believe in the kind of life long marriages that our Grandparents had and we are loyal to eachother that same way.

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