(Closed) Does anyone else's FI not want to give a speech at all?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
4528 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I didn’t know it was common for couples to say speeches to each other. The very thought makes me nervous, lol

Post # 3
7181 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ve never been to a wedding where the bride and groom gave speeches.

Post # 5
8987 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Neither one of us gave a speech. We didn’t walk around to tables, either. We did thank everyone individually as they left, though, which was pretty much everyone at the same time.

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Post # 6
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I wanted to do our own vows, but DH was really uncomfortable with the idea, so to compromise, we both wrote them, and had our MOH/BM deliver them on the morning of. That way I got my words of affirmation, and he didn’t have to speak in front of a crowd. Maybe try something similar?

Post # 8
1413 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’ve never seen the bride and groom give speeches at a wedding, and we have no plans to.

Post # 9
718 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Here it’s common for the groom to do a thank you for coming everyone speech.  But my fiancé has massive anxiety so I was going to do it. But I have zero intentions to tell him why I love him in front if everyone. 

Post # 10
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I gave a short thank you speech at our wedding. It was right after toasts and I thanked both sets of parents, our wedding party and all of our guests for coming. I think I might have said one or two things about DH but I don’t really remember so it must not have been much. I think its good if one of you says something, I did it because he’s not big on public speaking either. My “speech” lasted maybe 30 seconds.

Post # 11
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema

I’m the opposite, FI is ALL about the speeches. They’re the part he is loking forward to the most!<br />The first thing he did when we got engaged was ask people to speak. LOL

In NZ it would be very strange for neither the bride nor groom to thank everyone for coming.

We will both be doing speeches at the reception.

I undestand fear of public speaking is a thing, so he shouldn’t have to do one if he doesn’t want to, but you certainly shouldn’t be stopped!

Post # 12
4356 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 1997

This must be a regional thing, as I’ve never seen a bride or groom give any sort of speech at a wedding. Guests are thanked as they come through the greeting line after the ceremony or as they are saying goodbye as they leave the reception. 

Post # 13
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

DH is also quiet,  so I was the only one who did any sort of speech/toast. Short & sweet. 

Post # 14
443 posts
Helper bee

I’ve heard of the best man and the MOH giving speeches about the bride and groom, but I’ve not really heard of the bride and groom themselves giving speeches. I don’t think it’s weird, though. Just a quick thank you to the guests/staff/whoever for coming/helping seems customary, but I think it’s usually the bride who does that. I always thought the speeches about your feelings for one another were part of the vows in the ceremony (if you wrote them yourselves)…

Post # 15
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Yeah I never heard of this before. The only people giving speeches is going to be our best man and MOH. And they are going to be brief and straight to the point. If you stop the music for too long with too many speeches, it kind of kills the party. 

Besides, the entire guestlist already knows you guys love each other, you just got married. No need to have to express it beyond the ceremony. 

My FI and I don’t even get to say I do as our ceremony will be in a completely different language neither one of us understands or speaks (long story) so we are writing each other vows that we will have delivered the morning of. As long as I know what is in his heart, I’m happy. 

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