(Closed) Does anyone elses mother compete with them on weight?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

she’s comparing weights with you while you are pregnant and you haven’t eaten her face off? you must be a nicer pregnant lady than I imagine I will be. I suppose she just feels bad about herself, and this takes the edge off for her. You would think, as your mother, that she wouldn’t take it off by cutting you down, but…

Sorry. I know it’s irritating. maybe tell her to lay off or you will eat her face and then we’ll see who is skinnier?

Post # 4
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wow, yes!!! I love my Mom, but she’s always been like this. She makes such a BIG DEAL about eating very little whenever we’re together, like awkwardly so. And always always comments on her weight and her size. She never says anything aobut my weight directly, but makes indirect comments so I totally know what you mean.

Post # 5
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My mother does this exact same thing!  The irritating part is that she WAS obese until about a year ago when she got the lap-band.  She can only eat VERY SMALL portions now and has lost a lot of weight.  She looks fantastic, by the way.  However, that does not give her the right to comment on my weight, my cellulite, or any other natual occurance!  I am still smaller than my mom (I’m a size 6), but she keeps telling me she’ll be my size by the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
489 posts
Helper bee

I can add here…while I love my mom she is always trying to compare weights with me. She makes fun if I gain weight, and it hurts my feelings even if it is in playful way. She always does a little happy dance when we weigh the same thing, even though she is three inches shorter. I know deep down it is because she is insecure with herself, and is constantly seeking approval, but I can’t help that it bothers me.

Post # 7
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My mother put on a diet when I was 8-years old. For the next 10 years of my life (until I moved away) she was always commenting on my weight. She had her own body-image issues and yo-yo’d with her weight. She too would make comments when she was a smaller size than me (and I am about 4 inches taller than her).

Post # 8
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Ok so my mom has done this since I was in high school, it is crazy too because she is 5 inches taller then me and naturally a very small B cup and with long legs and I am naturally a D cup with a curvy figure. She loves to go shopping and then share a fitting room and complain about how the size two is just a little tight while I am trying on a 12 petite. The thing is for me to ever be the size of her I would have to been born with a different body or basically starve myself. Yet she will still say o really you are hungry………uh yay some people actually eat!!!!!

Sorry but this is something I could probably write a book on!

 

Post # 9
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@Birdie Love: O yeah my mom when I was in high school bought a treadmill and put up a log and said if I used it more then her in a month she would buy me a new outfit! Way to go self esteem!!!

Post # 11
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

My mom is like this too. It started when I first got engaged and made dress shopping a horrible experience with her. I’m fairly average,  5’4” and wear a size 6. But stress and emotions run high during wedding planning and she made me feel pretty crappy about myself for awhile.

Post # 12
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh wow. My mom likes to talk about weight, too – I think she sees it as a bonding thing?

For me, though, I don’t like to talk about it. Partly because I’m bigger than she is, but also, I’m working really hard on accepting the body I have right now and weight comments don’t help that. So, I don’t discuss my weight with my mom. She knows that, and I don’t know if she likes it or not, but it’s something I’ve had to do for my own well-being.

Maybe something like that would work for you? I mean, if your mom doesn’t know what you weigh or what size you wear, she can’t comment on it. So if she asks, just tell her it’s personal and you don’t want to discuss it. Especially if you’re pregnant – just tell her the baby’s growing just fine and change the subject.

And no way in hell would I share a dressing room with my mom! Having her help me into my wedding dress was bad enough!

Post # 13
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@liltwinstar: O I wish I could just tell her no but that does not work with her, I think the only thing she will not discuss with me is sex which I am fine with!

Post # 14
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

WOW!  I am happy I am not alone on this.  My mom use to weigh a lot more then me and then about a 1.5 years ago she decided to try and get health and has dropped about 40 pounds or so.  She is at a good weight and needs to stop because I think she is starting to look sickly. 

I on the other hand have had medical issues in the last year and have been put on meds that make me gain weight….so needless to say we have met in the middle and she likes to point out what size she will be wearing for my wedding and that she has to keep working so she will look great  at the wedding.  ARGH!  It is annoying because it isn’t her freaking day it is mine and she makes me feel like she wants everyone to look at her and say WOW you look great…..HELLO it isn’t your day!

Post # 15
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@Nola: My mom has said things along the line of well you know I need to look good in my dress and I am like no I do you need to be my mom!

Post # 16
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@bohemianbailie:  It isn’t right!  I have even been going to the gym and trying my best to drop the weight that my meds add on.  I have only lost 5 pounds and she told me “Don’t get too crazy remember you still have to fit in your dress so don’t lose anymore.” WTF!!!  But you can….what about your dress?  ARGH to moms that want to look better then their kid. 

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