Post # 1
I’m a waiting Bee, probably for another year or so, but the idea of planning a wedding for 130-150 people and coming up with the money for it seems completely unattainable. My SO just started a full time job and I have another year and a half of college before I can start working (in a field where no one makes money, dumbest degree idea ever). My parents paid for college and so of course I won’t be asking for a penny from them for a wedding.
I’ve been looking into prices for things and am completely and utterly overwhelmed. Honestly, I can’t imagine spending thousands and thousands of dollars on one day, but apparently I have expensive taste (great, right?).
There are certain things my family does that makes a wedding crazy expensive (open bar, photographer, nice venue, +1 for everyone), and my idea of eloping in a foreign country to combine the honeymoon and wedding is a no-go for my SO. I just can’t imagine how we’ll ever come up with enough money to have even a somewhat nice (by my family’s standards) wedding.
I’m sorry if this is just rambling and crazy and completely unhelpful, but please, share your apprehensions! Vent, ladies, vent!
Post # 3
@musician32992: I know exactly how you feel. It scared me so much that we haven’t bothered setting a date yet. I do have an idea of what the wedding will cost (a LOT) but it petrified me.
Since you are still waiting I would recommend to start saving now (even if it’s just a little bit). When we were discussing things the biggest issue for us was coming up with the deposits to secure services (it works out to be quite a lump sum). Once that is out of the way we’ve basically broken everything up into monthly installments and it seems so much more doable that way and a lot less overwhelming – eg. instead of saying that your photog is going to cost 5k, if your engagement is 1 year and they require a 50% deposit, once you have the deposits out of the way , it works out to just over 200 a month 🙂 Doesnt it seems so much less scary like that? When I start thinking about it like this I breathe a lot easier
Post # 4
@musician32992: This is a pretty common feeling. We really haven’t had many problems yet, and we have a very limited budget as well. We can’t even make it close to half of the “30k average”. I have really expensive tastes too -_- of course. lol
It’s not your family’s wedding though! If they want certain things, they need to be helping pay for them. They can’t “demand” your wedding contain certain things and then just assume you’ll spend X amount extra to appease their expensive tastes.
We’re doing an all-inclusive… and on a weekday. We got them to take off the venue/ceremony fee, throw in a toast and do the cake as well (we sampled them and oh my gosh… most amazing tasting cakes ever). The important people will be there. I mean, why should you spend $100+ on a person that you really even won’t know in 2 years? Second and third cousins that you haven’t seen since you were a kid… will they care all that much? Whittle your list. It helps big time.
That being said… wedding stuff is way, WAY overpriced. It’s ridiculous the markups they do for anything wedding-related -_-
Post # 5
Thank you so much, gals, it makes me feel better that I’m not the only one being crazy anxious! I’ve found The One and I love the idea that I get to marry him soon, but wedding costs scare me! I’m all for a budget wedding, but I’m sorry, I will not be happy with my reception in a church basement. The other problem is that I have 27 first cousins…
Post # 6
@ms_protea: Yes, this worked for me too. I have the down payments and am now saving $400 per month.
Post # 7
@yanamari: I was thinking of maybe doing a winter wedding on a Friday but…no one does that. I don’t know, girl, it’s just all too much! I just wish my SO would let me have the long engagement I want! He doesn’t want more than a year, I was thinking more like three!
Post # 8
@musician32992: i feel the same way! but we started planning our wedding 13 months early, so we could pay for things little by little. my biggest splurge was the venue (2500$) and sometimes i still get the feeling like we will never afford the wedding and there isnt going to be any tables there, or the beers wont be cold because we won’t be able to afford ice etc. ahahha. i freak out but my fiance calms me down by reassuring me it will be fine. and also my grandma always told me i have “champagne taste on a beer budget” so i was scared i would never afford my dream wedding, but when i started planning i realized all that doesnt matter. We are serving southern bbq because it was the cheapest caterer, but it is delicious! and we are having the minimum amount of flowers (our venue is a secret garden, so we dont need many) and we are cutting costs where ever we can, and i am still so excited!! you will figure out a way to do it , trust me!! our wedding will be under 6,000$ and we live in a city that is reallllly expensive because people use it for destination weddings. Anything is possible 🙂
Post # 9
Definitely feel the same as you- except we totally want a winter wedding and if we want this one venue, we habe to go on a friday- which is fine by me.
but looking at wedding costs, even on a budget, scares the pants off me. It seems so much. I’m just trying to whittle down the guest list to ONLY people I would willingly spend money on (and yes I’m still waiting lol)
Post # 10
Yup – I’m not even engaged and the thought of it scares the living daylights out of me, even though my parents would likely pay for it. I just would rather spend money on something else, or not spend it at all and not have to deal with the hassle of planning everything. I find the thought of a wedding for myself about as exciting as food poisoning, but that’s always been the case ever since I was young – I just see people get so worked up and stressed over it that I’ve never wanted any part of it. I also think that this whole waiting process has made me even more anti-wedding than I was before (not for other people, just for myself) – it overwhelmed me before, and now I dislike it AND it overwhelms me.
I also am a huge perfectionist, so it would be all or nothing – I’d either go crazy making sure it is perfect, but would prefer not to indulge my inner crazy and have nothing at all. I’d be ecstatic just having a civil ceremony and a few people over for drinks or something after. =)
Post # 11
Yep, I’m engaged and have been so for a long time because th planning terrifies me!
Post # 12
Oh I have been there. Some days I thought it was all impossible, the next I’d say it was easy as pie. Wedding planning is hard and can be stressful but it all works out!