(Closed) Does anyone ever feel like ring shopping …

posted 5 years ago in Rings
  • poll: How would you classify your ring shopping experience?
    Ladies Choice: Smooth sailing, no persuasion necessary. I got what I wanted (traditional). : (26 votes)
    43 %
    Ladies Choice: Smooth sailing, no persuasion necessary. I got what I wanted (non-traditional). : (15 votes)
    25 %
    Persuasion Station: It took some time, love and attention to convince him (traditional). : (3 votes)
    5 %
    Persuasion Station: It took some time, love and attention to convince him (non-traditional). : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Peaceful Compromise. We both had very distinct ideas and both gave in a little to compromise. : (7 votes)
    11 %
    Marketing Misunderstanding: The jewelry industry convinced him I only want a diamond. I gave in. : (0 votes)
    Point of Pride: It was definitely more about him buying a "statement" piece. I gave in. : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Other. Explain below. : (8 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    525 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Mine was definitely smooth sailing, and I was involved throughout the whole process. We knew that we both wanted a diamond of at least 2cts, and were on the same page budget wise. I’ve always loved rings, so we knew that I would be the one designing it. Got exactly what I wanted-no issues.

    Now my wedding and anniversary band choices are turning out to be a different matter entirely. So far he has indicated that he’s not crazy about my idea for the anniversary band, but that’s about it. So we will see-i know ill get what I want-I’m just not sure yet if he’ll actually give me pushback about it or just let me know that it isn’t his ideal and leave it at that.

    Post # 4
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @kariebee43:  I voted Other.

    Originally I had my idea for my ideal diamond ring. But then Fiance asked if it could be a colored stone, because he likes the look better. After some research I fell in love with purple sapphires. Once we agreed on it, I helped design my ring and got just what I wanted.

    So I voted other, because although I got my perfect (non traditional) ring, it was FI’s suggestion. There was no convincing either way. He didn’t have to talk me into getting a sapphire, and I didn’t feel the need to talk him into getting a diamond. I didn’t even realize a non-diamond would be an option until he suggested it. So he was happy with the colored stone, and I was happy with the final design of my ring.


    Post # 5
    12248 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I voted other, but the only say I had in my ring was when we negotiated price!

    Then he picked it and surprised me with it–I didn’t even know he was thinking about proposing!

    Post # 6
    1357 posts
    Bumble bee

    Haha my SO is kind of the opposite. Engagement rings are pretty uncommon where we’re from; most people just wear gold wedding bands. I guess we’ve both been in North American long enough that neither of us really question the engagement ring thing, but he has absolutely no assumptions about what it’s supposed to look like. 

    I think you should explain your preferences to your SO and make sure he understands that it’s not just about price. I believe that the ring should reflect BOTH people’s preference. But you’re right, you probably won’t care one bit once he proposes!

    Post # 7
    1357 posts
    Bumble bee

    @pineapplez17:  Oooo I saw a purple sapphire yesterday and it was honestly one of the most beautiful stones I had ever seen (including diamonds). You made a great choice!

    Post # 8
    3297 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

    Actually, yes. I would have been much happier with a more “romantic” style ring… a cluster of diamonds forming a flower, some detail on the band, etc… and I ended up with a simple small solitaire for practicality’s sake and because I was so pleased he had a vision of what he saw my engagement ring as. I wish I had something more fun and sparkly now.

    Post # 9
    7445 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    We had very similar tastes in rings, so it was pretty smooth sailing. We both really fell in love with the same ring.

    Post # 10
    1926 posts
    Buzzing bee

    SO and I ended up having VERY similar tastes, setting wise (vintage milgrain halo, lots of detailing) but he insisted on a diamond whereas I wanted moissanite. I got moissanite 🙂 

    Post # 11
    1130 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I voted Other… FH picked my ring and I had only given him an idea of what kind of rings I thought were nice, LONG before he actually bought the ring. I don’t even know how much he paid for it, I can only guess based on what it was appraised for.

    Is it unusual now to just have a guy picking a ring he thinks his girlfriend will like, without really getting her direct input?

    Post # 12
    123 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Fi knew that I knew exactly what I wanted.  But he was also traditional in that he wanted to propose with a ring.  He proposed with a wedding band and then I got to design my own ring.  He knew what he disliked about engagement rings (halos, pave stones – lol) and the ring I had in mind had none of those things.  Super smooth process.

    Post # 13
    2743 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

    I chose peaceful compromise. I had ideas of what I thought the cost should be he thought otherwise. I was fine witha smaller stone and lower cost setting he wanted big and my dream setting. So though on some level it was ‘ladies choice” he wanted bigger and better than anything I could have thought possible. I was actually a little uncomfortable with the size at first.

    I am happy he was ok with going with a non traditional setting and a colored center stone.

    Post # 14
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I wanted a proposal, not a statement ring. He wouldn’t consider proposing without a big ring in hand. He made me wait much longer than I would’ve liked so he could buy The Ring.

    Finally, he bought a ring that looked nothing like what I like. It was very modern. After all that waiting, I wanted a ring I actually LIKED, so I asked him to return the ring and have the stone reset in an antique reproduction setting that was more “me.” 

    He did.

    Later, he admitted that he bought the modern setting, even thought it wasn’t very “me,” because that company offered 9 times the normal number of credit card bonus points. He wanted to use the points to take me on a fabulous honeymoon. Aww, his heart was in the right place. 

    And we lived happily ever after.

    Post # 15
    6359 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Yeah, none of those.

    Ours was the traditional “gifter makes the decision” with the modern twist “he decided to ask for my feedback at various points throughout the process, but never lost the awareness that it was HIS project.”

    I was happy to be involved but I would have loved whatever ring he would have chosen by himself, too. It probably would have been a bit most ostentatious if he had chosen it all by himself, I encouraged him to get more creative and not go over the top with the diamond size (it shouldn’t be all about size when people see it), and consider designing the setting himself rather than go for a big brand name (even though the brand name one was very nice too).

    It was very romantic, and I couldn’t be happier 🙂

    Post # 16
    284 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    @kariebee43:  Our experience was interesting. We started looking after about a year and a bit together and we initially started looking at diamonds. I wanted something very small and inexpensive – I didn’t see the need for something expensive and flashy. I went through phases where I was interested in various gemstone rings (also because of the money thing). And he listened and looked along with me, but in truth he was set on a diamond, and a well-made ring too. He wanted something that was the best he could give me. And so when we walked into a higher end store and we both looked at this beautiful, sparkly )yet still moderate size) ring, I fell in love with it (surprisingly) alongside him. And it was $10000. I begged and I pleaded, but he saved up and sold some of his gold and he bought it for me, and we both love it. We looked at so many different sorts of rings, and we debated and had many conversations, and in the end it wasn’t about compromising so much as it was about finding the right ring. 

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