Post # 1
Does anyone feel like I do? I feel like most of my family cares more about themselves and making them happy on my wedding day then my FH and I. My soon to be inlaws are telling me what my kids (who will be thier step grandchildren) are going to call them (by their 1st name instead of grandma & grandpa which I do not agree with!) At this point I honestly wish we would have taken my kids and the few very close family members I’d want to be there and eloped! We are spending $15,000 on this wedding and the families have made everything so much more of an issue then it should be. Who we should invite or not invite, the food not being what they like, not liking ideas for places, decorations, honeymoon ideas and more! It’s pathetic! I am so stressed out lately I’m not even enjoying this process!
If you have an awesome family make sure you tell them each and everyday how much you appreciate them!
Post # 3
We do! Unfortunately my parents are long gone, which is why I adore my FILs.
Strangely enough, we are not being asked for a lot of details. Maybe you could tell them that you got it covered and they can enjoy the fruits of your planning on your wedding day. You are adults and apparently paying for the wedding. That means YOU get to call the shots.
As much as I loves my FILs, I certainly am not sharing most of the wedding details with them.
Post # 4
I know exactly how you feel, my In-Laws decided a lot of my wedding (especially guestlist) but in the end they also paid a lot for us! However, I agree if you pay yourself they should not interfere with you! Every detail was also an issue here, especially who sits where, next to who, the parent dance drama (I really don’t want one even though my parents are attending and not divorced-I just think it is strange and cheesy) and so on and on. And especially when you mention kids I get scared! I don’t have any kids yet, but i know exactly that my in-laws will want to tell me stuff about how to raise them (they have a different religion than I do for example) and it already annoys me now! My FMIL used to be kindergarten teacher, but she totally failed in teaching her kids manners or rules! My fiance told me that as a kid he used to drink up to 8 (!!!!) sodas a day (I think that is why he is still hyperactive now) and his brother NEVER flushes the toilet at 26 years old. (And I mean never- no matter what he left behind!!!) Sorry For the long response but if i think about how they would spoil and raise my kids and had the nerve to tell me about what to do-Makes me soooo mad!!!! Argh!!!! Anyway, keep your foot down! It will pass, my wedding is in less than 3 weeks and I also felt like giving up and was extremely annoyed by the advice, but you just gotta stick with what YOU envision. One thing I could advice: Ask them how involved THEIR parents or in-laws were, and if they were fine with that at their own wedding!!!
Post # 5
@trueblue14: Yeah that’s true I guess I have been sharing the details with them because my bridal party sucks too! I regret asking a lot of the people to be in my bridal party! They were great before I actually got the ring with helping me come up with ideas but after I got the ring on my finger it all stopped! you would have thought we were already married with how they are acting! The only help I’ve gotten is from my sister and my mom!!! It makes me so sad!
Post # 6
@Ilovetruffels: Thanks for your response! As sad as it is that you are dealing with the same kind of things I’m also glad I’m not alone! I am so excited for this wedding especially since we are planning it all ourselves and doing a lot DIY I just wish other people would be excited too! I was so excited when my siblings got married and two out of three don’t act like they care at all! My bridal party is terrible! I’ve had 4 out of 8 girls do anything with me (2 out of those four that have done something live far away so I can understand why they don’t do too much the other one is my sister who has been there for a whole lot and the other went to one thing before I got the ring & has not bothered since. That one has another friend that just got engaged in the last couple weeks shes going with her to bridal shows & venues didn’t even tell me about it. I showed up with my mom and found them there. She said I thought you had everything planned I looked at my mom & said if she had been involved at all maybe she would know I didn’t. She’s also my maid of honor)
Your FH and his brother that’s just wrong!!! There is no reason to give kids soda all the time and the toilet thing is completely nasty & I would flip out if my kids didn’t flush at 4 & 5 much less 26!!! Thanks for the advice I will have to try it!