(Closed) Does anyone feel not overly welcome on here at times?

posted 9 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

I think we’ve all felt that way from time to time!  There’s so much diversity of experience and opinion out there… it’s hard to maintain a continual friendly vibe. πŸ™‚

Was there a particular thread that bummed you out?  Please let us know!!

Post # 4
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I am surprised. Honestly, this board is less… spicy than a lot of boards that I have been a member of in the past. I have not really had a problem here. I think the lack of facial expressions and tone of voice can lend to something be abrupt or rude even if it isn’t meant to be. I am sorry you don’t feel welcome here. πŸ™

Post # 5
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Hi Kelli,

I would like to say hello and be friendly and would love to hear your wedding plans and ideas. Im sorry that youve experienced this and hope you find it better here.

Post # 7
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

We’d love to be here for you – please let us know if there’s anything we can do to make you feel heard! πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

kellibella…. when is your wedding?  Nearly over and done with, as in you’re going to be a MRS SOON!?!?!?!  πŸ˜€

Post # 10
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m sorry that you haven’t always felt comfortable here πŸ™  Because I am in a somewhat bizarre situation (cacausian Canadian living in Korea, marrying a Korean and having 4 different ceremonies in 2 countries), some people here don’t always understand my situation.  Every once and a while I get some advice that isn’t always helpful or understands my particular situations, but I know that people are doing their best from within their context to help me out.  I’ve learned so much from the other posters, and I love reading about weddings that are going to be completely different from mine because budget/cultural/religious/racial whatever reasons.  So, perhaps its hard for some people to understand each other’s experiences, but in my personal experience here, most people try to support me and give me advice to the best of their ability.  I hope that you start having more positive experiences and find a home here.^^

Post # 11
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m with Bamm on this one – I’m in a weird cultural situation too, but I’ve always found everyone to be incredibly supportive. They’re honest, yes, but that’s what I’m looking for.

I think there are two kinds of people on boards like this: those who want honest feedback, and those who just want to be encouraged in what they’ve decided. If the wanting-encouragment people start getting feedback from those with different opinions than their own, sometimes that can cause them to feel hurt, just like if the needing-feedback people just recieve encouragement to ‘do what you want!’ because ‘it’s your day!’ can feel frustrated that no one is actually interested.

Like MrBee, I’d be curious if there are specific threads that have triggered these feelings for you.

Post # 12
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Kellibella – I completely understand where you are coming from! I am also an Aussie and sometimes find some threads a bit unusual i guess.

If i find something offensive, it sometimes helps to review the other posts of that same person and if their “tone” etc is usually the same in the other posts, so it is never anything personal!

A very big WELCOME!!!

Post # 13
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I understand what you’re saying. It’s very hard for me when people continually refer to city hall weddings as not “real.” It’s also often assumed that an elopement will be regretted. Those are two assumptions that don’t really have anything to do with a misinterpretation of tone. 

Post # 15
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@kellibella I do know where you are coming from. I am an American marrying a Spaniard and there are some customs in Spain which seem OUTRAGEOUS to many bees (like putting your acct. number in the invitation so people know where to deposit the money gift!) and many times these bees are honest and label these other customs as “inappropriate” or highly suggest you not to follow these customs. I have taken those kinds of comments with a grain of salt. The way I see it is, I appreciate anyone and everyone’s comments. If the comments are going to be negative then plz refrain from saying anything at all. And if the comment shouldn’t be negative but ends up being so for me (or other different culture bees) bc of my cultural differences, I shrug it off bc the comments are usually written with the nicest of intentions and that bee just doesn’t realize how the comment comes off. So yes, there is a lack diversity here. But we I hope are diversifying Weddingbee! Cool Just try to stay positive and remember that you are not alone! There are others of us here too! 

 

Post # 16
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

@Kellibella We had a black tie elopement with four guests at San Francisco City Hall and it was wonderful. We had the elegant formal wedding we wanted with those dearest to us without the stress of the familial guest list. We spent far less than we would have on a wedding, but far more than is ‘typical’ for an elopement. We got ready in separate hotel rooms in Berkeley and one of our friends surprised us with a limo that took us to San Francisco. After the ceremony, we took pictures around the city and then had a lovely dinner in the private room at Boulevard. We had so much fun at dinner we continued the party at a posh bar across the streets, drinking cocktails into the late evening. It was exactly what we wanted and I know we would have regretted immensely the larger wedding we had tried to plan to appease my husband’s family.

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