(Closed) does anyone fight with their FI when they drink? VENT

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m glad things are better!! When I drink too much, I sometimes start fights with Fiance and its horrible. Its always 100% my fault and I attack him for miniscule reasons and then feel horrible in the morning when I barely remember fighting and don’t even want to think about what I said to him. It hasn’t happened in a while, I’ve been taking some time off drinking, but I’m hoping it doesnt start up again the next time I drink.

Post # 19
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Parents' backyard

This was a big problem for us for the first two years. I’d make a mountain out of a molehill when I drank and say mean things, and Mr. G would just ignore me and withdraw, which pissed me off even more. We also had friends who were a couple that also had MASSIVE fights – like, throwing stuff at each other and breaking up and getting back together. So we were just these two drunk couples who got mad at each other after a night on the town. So pathetic! In 2009, the night before we were going to fly to England for me to meet his parents for the first time we got in a fight and I told him, “How am I supposed to marry you!?!”

That being said, if Mr. G had been that close to an old girlfriend I would’ve been pissed. Given that you were drinking I can only imagine how pissed you were. Your mind goes to *that place* and there’s no going back when you are drinking. Things get escalated and said that really aren’t supposed to be out there. I’ll bet if you weren’t drinking it would’ve gone, “Honey, please don’t be that close with your ex around me. It makes me uncomfortable.” and he would say, “Ok, I understand!” Instead it got blown out of proportion and ended ugly, right?

I sure hope that things have settled down since then. I always apologize, we discuss what happened, and then we hug it out and talk about how we’ll never have that fight again. I do think to a certain extent there is a sober communication breakdown going on. We noticed that in the end, although we fought about different things each time, it all came down to our communication style. For me, personally, I stopped drinking around him for a long time and really got into the mindset of, “What am I doing?!? This is wholly my problem. I need to stop acting like this.” We don’t have this problem anymore and I can drink around him again. If this is an ongoing problem, I think you’ve realized its the alcohol that’s the problem and maybe you guys shouldn’t go to bars together. Find something else you like to do together. 🙂 (This worked for my friends too. They went 6 months without drinking at all, I was so proud of them! They have a really strong relationship now too.)

I know you came here to vent. I hope this helps and your relationship becomes stronger!

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