(Closed) Does anyone have a really close male friend that your FI hates?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I do know that many guys still believe (whether true or not) that most male-female frienships are just smokescreens until the chick sees the guy in a non-platonic way….aka the wait game. So if that is how Fiance is looking at it, or he has heard other things about Jeff, then…I could see his position.

I dunno…I don’t see why who he sleeps with should have anything to do with it unless his choice of partners/values just doesn’t jibe with your fiance’s worldview. 

Post # 4
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

As I have learned from every guy (who i wasn’t dating)..

guys are never just friends with a female without having it in the back of their minds that maybe one day you wont be just friends.

Being a guy and knowing “guy code,” he knows what this guy is up to. Or MOST LIKELY up to. If you tested your friend, I bet you would find out that he would bite at the chance to sleep with you.



Post # 5
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

When it comes down to it if your fi have you the uultimatum, me or him, who would you pick? 

Post # 6
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I kno what you mean and my Fiance feels the sme way towards some of my guy friends– Hes okay with me talking to them as long as its minimal and we respect our boundries. I honestly did stop talking to them as much, Every now and then wed talk but hes more important to me honestly then any of my friends. Im sure If I felt iffy about any girl friend in his life I would expect him to be the same.

Post # 7
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I don’t have a friend that Fiance hates, thankfully!

BUT, my relationship before Fiance (the abusive one), my Ex HATED my man-bff. HATED. Man-BFF and I have been friends for 6 years. So right when I got into my relationship with Fiance, I introduced him to Man-BFF. Thankfully Man-BFF is engaged though, so that makes it a little less stressful on Fiance.

Post # 8
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

No – I have a make best friend that I’ve known since I was 16. I think we made out when we were like 18 or 19 at a party, but really if we were going to date or hook up we would have lane it already in the past ren years. FH and him are really cool, and we’ll all hang out, or I’ll even go get a beer 1:1 with him. 

Post # 9
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

No. Fiance and I would need to have a long talk if he was jealous of my guy friends. There are a lot of them and that would never fly. There are a couple he doesn’t like much, but because of personality issues, and would never object to my spending time with them.

Post # 10
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I have a male friend that while Darling Husband doesn’t hate him, he just doesn’t really “get” why we are friends. Said friend is kind of high maintenance, is easily offended, kind of tends to make outings all about him and what he wants to do. My husband just thinks he is kind of a pain in the ass, but I think he’s hilarious 🙂

Post # 12
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

He sounds really insecure more than anything else. I’d ask him point blank why it hurts him so much to hear about things that happen in your daily life that involve even coworkers. Try asking in the most non-confrontational way you possibly can so you can get him to open up and understand his position. If his temper flares, I think this might warrant discussing counseling between the two of you. He may have control issues, be depressed, or might even be a cheater himself. Just try to be objective until you get to the bottom of it. When you find the root cause, you’ll know what to do. 

Post # 13
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@hotstepmom:  I just really feel like he is trying to isolate me from any male friends that I have and I’m not down with that at all.   If I bring up something funny that a male coworker said or did at work he doesn’t want to hear about it.  He said that he doesn’t want to hear about my male coworkers.   I feel like he just wants me to sit in this box and not speak to anyone.  This has been coming out more and more since we got engaged.  

This is a huge red flag. Not only does he seem to have a lack of trust in you, he seems to think that he has the ability to dictate how you live you life, at least in interacting with people that aren’t him. Especially the bit about him getting worse since the engagement….marriage will only make his possessiveness much worse. I personally, would not stay in a relationship like this, but obviously I only know this part of the story and this one part of his personality. At the very least, I would seek couples counseling immediately.

Post # 15
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013




I have like 5 male BFFs. Literally, I could have done 2 bridesmaids + 5 bridesmen instead of all bridesmaids–that’s how close we are. No, they aren’t gay, and we have been there for each other through it all. I totally disagree with your comment. They are like the brothers I never had.



With that said, I would probably not spend the night at any of their places anymore by myself just to show respect to Fiance. I would also not hang out in a bedroom or non-public place, even if we just were watching a movie or whatever. I also wouldn’t constantly hang out 1 on 1 with my male friends as much. I did ALL the time before Fiance. Other than that, our relationship will stay the same and Fiance is secure, approves it, and knows it.


OH and Fiance and I have both agreed that 1 on 1 with NEW/FUTURE friends from the opposite sex is a No-No.

Post # 16
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

If my Darling Husband tried any of that crap on me, he’d be gone (or rather, I wouldn’t have married him). My best friend is male and I can say with absolute certainty, he has no interest in sleeping with me, nor I with him. We are friends. That’s it. The minute your SO tells you who you can/can’t be friend with, or how much you’re “allowed” to talk to them, then you know there’s a problem. It screams immaturity, insecurity, and controlling.

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