(Closed) Does anyone have some immediate family not attending the wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
245 posts
Helper bee

we had relatives who said their cats couldn’t be left alone or with anyone else so they couldn’t come.

Post # 3
Member
6883 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My one and only brother did not attend my wedding.  He text me the day of, said he was sick (more like the woman he is married to said no way) Still stings afer almost 4 years..

Post # 4
Member
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Well, I understand your situation. It’s difficult. Its best that people like that not spoil your day. The people that matter will be there.

 

I told my mother two years ago that I would be getting married to this man, she doesnt want to make the effort. She had plenty of time to meet in the middle. I am expected to go to funerals out of state for her family, people I have not met. Yes, hers not mine. I never met my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. No one. As much as I would like to finally know them, at 33, a funeral is not an appropriate place to meet an entire side of a family. The grandparents are now buried 45 minutes from me. I wouldnt know the names of who to contact or how to contact them if I wanted.

He has a large family and I have 1, my father agreed to participate. I hate dress shopping alone, that his family doesn understand, that our enagement dinner is just his family because I have no one to join us. His family doesnt understand the situation and thinks I am simply not inviting anyone- the one person to invite will be out of the country on a business trip. Yes, it hurts that people are selfish, that some families are incapable of supporting one another, that they simply suck. As much as it hurts I would rather not have such people at our special day. It sounds like you are better off too to not have such toxic people.

Post # 5
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

My aunt asked us not to even send her an invitation. She has no reason, other than she doesn’t want to come. Ouch. Also, my grandmother isn’t entirely sure if she’s coming yet. It kinda bothers me, but I feel worse for my father (since it’s his side of the family) because he feels embarrassed that most of his side probably won’t be attending. So no worries @Mrstobe26, I don’t know about everyone else’s family, but mine is certainly weird. I’m just glad that I’m able to invite more people that actually want to celebrate with us!

Post # 6
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

The closest thing was my brother in law, meaning my sister’s husband, who was on his way back from his tour of duty in Iraq

Post # 7
Member
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

My grandparents could not make the 5.5 hr drive to my wedding. It crushed me but it was due to medical reasons so it’s not something that could have been avoided.

Post # 8
Member
766 posts
Busy bee

Mrstobe26:  How old are these teenagers?  I’m sort of surprised their parents aren’t making them go, or that the other siblings aren’t trying to compel them to go (though you did say his family isn’t traditional, so maybe that’s it).  Most teenagers – even generally good ones – can be selfish brats at times and not see the long-term consequences of their actions.

Post # 9
Member
4036 posts
Honey bee

My daughter’s uncle (she has 1 aunt and 1 uncle) didn’t even bother RSVPing, to her wedding, because he was angry his kids weren’t invited. (BTW, these are the type of distant/estranged realtives that have seen her 2x in 10 years; I’ve never met the nephew, now 11). They also couldn’t be bothered to spend 1 minute writing a congratulatory e-mail. When it came time to make up the guest list for my 2nd daughter’s wedding, guess who didn’t make the list?

Post # 10
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

All of our immediate family (parents & siblings) will be able to make it, but I may be missing my three surviving grandparents.  My mother’s mother for sure – she is currently in hospice care at the end of her battle against Alzheimer’s so there is 100% no way she can attend.  We’ve known that for years.  My father’s parents are mentally sound, but physically it’s getting really hard for them to get around.  They may not be able to attend simply because of the travel involved; we’re several hours away by plane and a connecting flight is pretty much unavoidable without another 3 hours in a car.  If they end up not being able to make it, we have plans to stream our ceremony and likely the first dances so they can watch from home.

Post # 12
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2015

WE are going through the same exact thing and also from a very large family..15 brothers and sisters. What can I say…there is a lot of family drama over serious events from the past that my fiance just found out about. He has since gotten in arguements with some family members over this. In turn we don’t really talk to some anymore and some don’t talk to us. It freakin kills me. His mom passed away and his dad isn’t invited. I would like to think people will get over it for one day but he has already told one to not come if she can forgive him and move on. HE said it’s really awkward to have people there that he knows don’t like him. I never ever imagined my wedding to be like this. I know it’s about us but how can I be happy if he knows some people aren’t there. He says he’s okay with it but I don’t really think he’s okay. I feel helpless and cry a lot lately. We also have a 1 year old and they haven’t attended several events because my fiance does not argee with how they handled the past situation. I feel for you. 

Post # 13
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2015

bluelagon:  what???? people are so shadyyyyyyyyy

Post # 14
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My mother will not be there, she threw a fit not this past christmas but the christmas before because we didn’t go to her house on christmas eve but came over first thing christmas morning. She hasnt spoken to me since lasr April at least. She didn’t acknowledge my engagment this past June either. It’s a shame and certainly hard to plan a wedding without your own mother but it is what it is.

Post # 15
Member
2257 posts
Buzzing bee

Mrstobe26:  My brother and I are currently on the outs. He’s insulted me incredibly by telling my dad to tell me not to come to his son’s 2nd birthday party. This after I was told to come… So, I haven’t sent them anything about the wedding.

And apparently my SIL got all up in arms like “oh I guess we’re not invited” when she saw my mom’s fridge with the save-the-date on it. Uh… no you’re not. Some people think it’s okay to uninvite people to life event parties, but when they’re flat not invited they act like it’s some injustice.

He keeps trying to make plans to talk to me, to which I keep saying “just say when and where” and he never responds. There’s a definite deadline. I won’t invite them if 3 months out they’re still not going to apologize to me.

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