Post # 1
Not parents yet, but we’re planning on doing AP style parenting when we are. Non spanking, breastfeeding, babywearing, baby led weaning, non CIO, cosleeping, ect.
Does anyone parent, or plan to parent like this also? Do your friends and family support you? Most of my family is on board with it. My parents raised me and my older brother in a similar fashion, although they did spank.
But my husbands family is SO against it. His parents are the type to spank first and ask questions later, ground for a week for the simplist of things, not affectionate at all, believe kids are to be seen, not heard, ect.
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2014 - hotel
I was more than keen to parent this way. I was so up for it, but in reality it didn’t happen. Cosleeping didn’t work for us and my daughter only responded to CIO. I did find a happy medium though, breastfeeding and baby wearing, babyled weaning and definetly no spanking or anything like that.
I would say it’s very good to get an idea of what kind of parent you want to be, but be open to fact it may not work. I put myself.under so much pressure I became depressed and felt a failure even though sacrificing my parenting ideals to fit what my DD needed was the right thing to do.
As long as you follow your gut and are open to change you will 100% be a great parent. Don’t follow a parenting label, just parent however feels natural.
Post # 3
It’s OK to plan these things in advance but you could very well change your mind when the baby comes and your energy is drained and your patience runs thin. Hope everything goes well when you do get pregnant!
Post # 4
After having extensive ABA training, I have learned every child is different. What you think you’re going to do may not work for this particular child. Good luck!
Post # 5
We didn’t really plan on it, but that’s the type of parenting our child ended up responding to and felt most natural to me.
The thing I have loved most while AP, is the BLW. It is so much easier than making, storing, and toting purees. I tried purees at first, but DD hated them. It’s so nice to be able to just share our food with her.
Post # 6
CuppaSarah: Aquaria: MrsPierce2014:
I understand that not everything always goes to plan, but I could never think CIO or spanking is okay.
The rest, sure, that could go either way. Cosleeping might not work for us, I might not be able to breastfeed, and baby might not like to be worn. But those would be okay and I could deal with those changes.
I was so excited when I found out about BLW. I was dreading steaming fruits and veggies and making food. It seems so time consuming.
Post # 7
Sorry if that sounded judgy of me, about the CIO. I know most people tend to do it at some point.
I used to nanny a one year old (she lived with us, so it was 24/7,) her dad told me to let her CIO. It was the most heartbreaking thing ever, and I just couldnt do it.
Post # 8
My son is 6 but when he was a baby he coslept (till 3 or 4) breastfed for 18 months…I wore him 80% of the time instead of using a stroller….he is a super secure and independent kid. It worked for me but go with your gut when you are a parent. That’s what I did and it just turned out I was an attachment style parent. I didn’t read books about it or anything, I just did what I felt made me and my son the happiest. It’s hard to plan how you are going to be until you are actually in the game.
Post # 9
We do a version of AP. We co- sleep, only because that’s how dd sleeps best at night. She sleeps in her crib for naps. I didn’t baby wear because she hated it. We do make some purées because it really doesn’t take long to make, but she mostly eats whatever we do. Absolutely no CIO, and so far no spanking because she’s too young to understand it anyway.
So far I looove AP, I think dh and I have a great relationship with dd and she’s happy and healthy, so we’re just going to keep going.
Post # 10
Oh geez. That all sounds like so much extra work and about the opposite of my plans (to an extent). For example, I definitely plan on breast feeding. But no way I could let the child decide when they’re done with it. That could be years!
I also think there are huge benefits of the CIO method (when done safely and responsibly). Namely: a parents sanity.
I have friends who co sleep with their 8 month old and 3 year old. Each night, all night. I’m not sure what your definition of cosleep is, but that seems unhealthy and disrespectful of your marriage to me. But alas, different strokes for different folks. Who knows how many things I’ll end up doing that used to rub me the wrong way.
Post # 11
I just do whatever feels right. So I do some of it but not all of it. We do breastfeeding, nonspanking, nonCIO (though I do definitely let her fuss and occasionally I will let her cry for 5-10min max though it’s been less than 5x I’ve ever done it).
I only coslept when it was advantageous for us all to get more sleep. So during her 4mo sleep regression she coslept on and off throughout the night and she still does sometimes if something is bothering her and she just wants one of us to sleep next to. I really enjoy cuddling with her at night honestly, although she’s at the age now where she kicks and squirms and pinches so it’s not always so nice anymore…haha. When I’m tired of it I just try to put her back into her crib.
I don’t do BLW because I just can’t handle it (lol) but she does feed herself purees (she spoon feeds herself, I put the puree on the spoon. or she sucks her pouch if we are somewhere without her highchair and bib) and honestly the puree stage isn’t that long for us (a month) before I introduced some finger foods and she is 9mo now and still does purees and finger foods (though I do cut things up pretty small). I don’t make purees…god no. But I cook all of our meals for the most part so by the time she is one year she should just be eating table foods.
I wouldn’t call myself a babywearer but I do combo stroller/carrier depending on what we are doing or where we are going. I think sometimes one is preferable in situations (or both- I sometimes bring the carrier on the bottom of the stroller and use the carrier just to feed her or let her nap and then put her back in her stroller when I’m done).
I just did what felt natural/best to me and for our baby.
Post # 12
Having had two children already, I don’t think it is the kind of thing you can plan for until you have met your child.
I couldn’t breastfeed with my second, for example. <br /><br />Committing never to hit is a very good idea though. Hitting your child is abhorrent.
Post # 13
My sister does AP with my niece. I definitely want to do some of it, but not all. The baby is now 1.5 years old and can’t get to sleep without my sister there it seems. She’ll nap on her own, but she’s used to having mom in bed with her at night and can’t deal without her. I’m hoping she’ll grow out of that one day, but I am not going to co sleep with our children.
Post # 14
I will likely incorporate elements of AP into my parenting style, but I think it’d be hard to subscribe 100% to a certain style of parenting. Just like teaching styles, I believe that parenting styles need to be flexible and adaptive. I will do whatever my child responds best to and is most realistic for us as a family.
Also, my 9 year old brother still sleeps with my mom and stepdad every night, so I feel like a line needs to be drawn somewhere.
Post # 15
I am raising my kids completely opposite. We are a very affectionate and loving family, but everything has it’s time and place. No kids in my bed, thank you very much. I’ve never hit my children because I think that is wrong, but they do know that if they sass me or misbehave they will have an earlier bedtime with no electronics, including tv, for 3 days. It might sound harsh, but my kids are angels. Very rarely do they end up with that punishment. After a couple of times they know better. I breastfed my first for 4 months and I mostly dried up when I went back to work. Pumping was not producing enough for her, but she nursed in the evenings until she was 6 months old. My second was in the NICU for 6 weeks and never latched. We figured out she was allergic to my breastmilk and all types of formula. She ended up needing the grossest nastiest already digested stuff in the world. It was more digestible than breast milk if you even think that could be possible. Both my kids loved a good swaddle but hated the baby sling thing. My oldest has been a thumb sucker since the womb and my second had a binky until I broke her of that at 2. She got it at night until she was 4 because it was the only way she could fall asleep. Anyway, each child is different, and if my kids had different personalities than they do I might be doing it differently.