Does anyone here do attachment parenting?

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 106
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I never planned or labeled anything. I was definitely non CIO. And I got A LOT of opinions about how I was doing it wrong. I never knew there was a name for it. I just knew I couldn’t sit back and let my baby cry. Everyone would tell me, you better let that baby cry or its going to run you. I didn’t listen and did what I felt was right and continue to. You will get opinions no matter what you do. I’ve co slept with all my babies. My 3 year old still sleeps with me now. But my husband also works nights so that’s a factor. I also hear loads of opinions on this. It works for me and my family and that’s all I care about. 

Post # 107
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

allyfally:  its ok, I can definitely see why someone would be strongly opposed to CIO because it really is horrible to go through. I have probably cried more than my daughter throughout the process, but I can’t argue with results when she is sleeping better and longer, and is happier when awake. I truly hope it’s a last resort for those who use it, and that they at least do their research before starting. 

Oh, and just a word of encouragement: one of the most special things I’ve been able to do as a mom is breastfeed. It can be tough at first, but totally worth sticking with if you are able. It’s comforting and relaxing for both me and my baby. So really hope it goes well for you! 

Post # 108
Member
1782 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My brother and his wife are wonderful parents and their daughter is very well adjusted for only being 15 months old. When I told them I was pregnant they said one of the best purchases they made was a slightly expensive room camera for their daughter. They can watch, hear her, and talk to her if needed. My SIL has said several times she has saved herself a trip in there when baby was just mumbling, babbling, cooing, etc… or even fussing a little. They haven’t had to let her full on cry it out because they can see if she really needs them. Without the camera she said she would of been in there a lot more for no reason.

Post # 111
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

allyfally:  just speaking in general terms. I’ve personally seen and had conversations w other people recently and they dont discipline And just ” hope” the kid will grow out of the strong willed and temper tamper stage year after year. :/  Was not directed towards you necessairly.  No offense Intended. 

This thread is interesting as it reminds me of when I first had my daughter and what I read about do this or that but what I ended up doing. Of course I didn’t have terms for everything or at least remember them. Or they have changed with time. 

Post # 113
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Just do what feels right, you don’t need a “style” of parenting. Each kid is different and you need to parent the way that works best for your child.

Post # 114
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Every kid is different, so while I think it’s great to have an idea of what your family values might be, you might be surprised by what happens when your LO arrives.

For example, my parents couldn’t do CIO with my brother because he would cry until he threw up. With me, a few minutes to cry/complain/whatever and I was out like a light. To this day, I still sleep better than he does. I don’t know why – it’s just the way we area.

I think the biggest thing to take away from this thread though is that everyone is doing what they feel is the best for their child(ren), and it’s important not to judge. One mother might be strongly against CIO, but for another mother’s baby, CIO might be the only thing that works. Some babies like being worn, some hate it. Drawing divisive lines in the sand doesn’t help anyone.

Post # 115
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

allyfally:  I didn’t plan on this per se but I guess we naturally fell into this, sort of. I didn’t really wear my son a lot mostly because I didn’t find a sling I liked until way later. By The Way the one I ended up finding and loving – after going through like 3 different ones and wasting a ton of money…..sigh….) is the Mei Tei carrier – it BY FAR felt the most sturdy and safe to me. All the other ones felt like my son was going to fall out at any given moment or the snaps would break or whatever. The mei tei is a bit fiddly to put on no doubt (it has long straps that tie around you), but comfortable and you can’t beat feeling secure. I never believed in CIO AT ALL (just my opinion) so our son is 18 months and has never once been left to CIO (except at his first in home daycare which was a disaster and he is no longer at). He is a very affectionate, happy and secure little boy who is very indepedent (plays by himself and does great at his new daycare) as well as attached to us. And he sleeps a solid 10 hours a night. We never co slept because we didn’t want to get into a habit we couldn’t break but to be honest I always have thought that it’s totally weird for a helpless baby to sleep alone in their own room. As far as discipline goes, we are clear, consistent and follow through. There has never yet been a reason for us to loose control (which, I think spanking is.) We are VERY affectionate with our son. My husband too. Singing, dancing, kissing and hugging and cudlding him (note, I said “cuddling” – not coddling – because I think there is a difference) – in short, we show him we love him and we are very happy to have him. And he shows it in his personality, he is a very sweet natured boy.

Post # 116
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

allyfally:  BTW – I have found that typically people that are opposed to AP view it as “weak” and the opinion is that you are supposed to be “strong” and make your child be “strong” and “tough” and self sufficient – comments typically go: you better “cio” or they’ll never learn! You are ‘spoiling’ that baby! Which is a very western way of thinking. We almost treat our children like little soldiers that are supposed to come out of the womb ready for battle. I personally never understood that at all.

Post # 118
Member
2449 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think it’s tough to plan it all out before baby arrives. I’m expecting #1 in November and short of buying gear and reading books there’s only so much you can really do to prepare! 

I’m pro-CIO, mainly bc we will both be working. After Mat leave it will just not be possible for me to work and be up all night. Which means my main goal for mat leave will be to establish a solid feed and sleep routine. For SAHM’s, it’s a different story. For people with more than 1 kid, also a different story.

Baby wearing is cool, I dont think it will be a lifestyle for me the way it is for some, but I plan to buy a Kinderpack or Tula plus a wrap/ring sling for the early days. I plan to breastfeed as long as it’s working for me and baby.

no matter how you do it…Co sleeping is a major safety risk, unless if by co-sleeping you mean using a product called a co sleeper next to your bed and no Bedsharing. There is just no reason to risk putting a baby in your bed. Bassinet or co sleeper in your room keeps baby safe and close by.

Not bedsharing, not spanking and getting all vaccinations on time are the only things I’m hardcore that we will be doing..we’ll figure out the rest along the way! Some babies don’t breastfeed well, hate being worn etc so we’ll see how it goes. I think a lot of motherhood is going with the flow, every family is different and every baby is different! 

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