Post # 1
I feel bad saying it but I just don’t like FH’s dad. Ever since we started dating in high school I don’t think I ever have liked him. He has never really done anything to me personally, but I don’t know he has just always made me nervous and uncomfortable. I understand when you marry someone you marry their whole family and I love the rest of FH’s family so much. He has a twin sister I am really close with and his mom is lovely but I just can’t get over my feelings of not liking his dad.
Like he is a very judgemental person. Everyone is absolutely entitled to their opinion and I can’t fault him for that but you can sit there and recite hard facts to him and he will still insist he is right and you are wrong. Anyone who is not a heterosexual Christian is “wrong” in his eyes. Mind you we’ve been dating since we were 13, so his family is pretty much my own and vice versa, but we went to lunch with his family and the hostess asked if there was any special occasion and he said “nope just out to lunch with our kids” and he looked straight in my eyes and whispered “Did you hear what I said? I said our kidS…that means you…you’re like one of our kids” and it was just weird. I mean I’m sure he meant no harm and his intentions were good but it just came off as weird and creepy to me. Like he was expecting me to cry tears of joy or something. And he shamelessly flirts with any female server we’ve ever had.
And anytime the wedding comes up he pulls my FH outside or into another room or whatever because evidently talking about the wedding is “women’s talk” and they have manly issues to discuss and he’s afraid they might sprout vaginas or something… It’s really hard to hold my tongue sometimes but to keep the peace what are you gonna do? I love my fiance more than anything in the world but his dad just pisses me off/gives me the heebie jeebies!
Post # 2
Lmao at sprout vaginas!
Umm yeah try half my DH’s family. His dad is a lot like your FI’s too. His siblings are super standoffish and not welcoming too so we mostly keep to ourselves even though they live close by.
Post # 3
Not in FIs family per say, but his brothers In laws (brothers wifes parents). His brother & wife have been together since pretty much forever, so the in laws have been in FIs life for a while, and mine since we started dating (10+ yrs). They are not very nice people! They think they are being funny but will make rude jokes about all of us (brother, wife, Fiance, me). Fiance doesn’t speak much of their language (and I speak none) so whenever they are over for dinner they are like, pop quizzing us on their language and then make fun of us when we don’t know what theyre talking about.
The mom is also that person who says ‘wow you look really tired today, are you feeling ok?’ Like yep, feeling fine. That’s just my face. Thanks.
The in laws and FIs parents are also very…gullible? Like, they believe EVERY SINGLE chain email. They were recently talking about hotels (I used to work at one) and all this false shit, and I was like “wow well that sucks. Just stay at X brand hotel, because we don’t do any of that”. I later googled and it was of course false on snopes lol.
Post # 4
calijess: I wouldn’t feel bad about your feelings. Your SO’s dad sounds like a creep, so it’s only normal that you don’t care for him. I don’t like my Mother-In-Law, and probably never will. We won’t ever have a close relationship, but I respect him as her mother and she respects me as his wife. That’s the best you can hope for, I think. Just be polite and respectful. Not everyone is close with their in laws, and that’s perfectly fine.
Post # 5
My guy is pretty bitter towards his family for reasons I wont get into and I understand why. His mother and brother are both very judgmental and can never admit when theyre wrong. i like the rest of them but those two grind on my nerves and they treat my fiance like he’s stupid. The best advice my mother gave me about cantankerous in-laws: If you cant get away from them, you be the fakest bitch you have ever been and then you talk all the crap you want about them when you go home. It sounds awful but hey, it got my mom through it lol
Post # 6
……… Had to delete because I use my full name 🤔
Post # 7
Heheh, I love your attitude in your post! And it made me smile because ours is sort of the opposite people problem.
My family is very conservative, lots of Christians (very non-judgmental — just some of the nicest people you’d meet) but tend to avoid swearing, dirty humor, and really believe in treating each person with respect. Husband’s family all swear like sailors, the more crude and offensive the better for their humor, and they will launch diatribes about people who go to church or Bible studies, etc. And I’m sitting there like, umm, yeah, you guys are waaay more judgmental about these type of people you’ve never met or really interacted with, than any Christian I’ve known personally. So that can be hard at times.
But to be clear, I don’t hate my SO’s family, but there are definitely a lot of things I don’t like and character things that I feel like they laugh about that aren’t so funny – like there is a drunk and there is a serial cheater and a couple terrible gossipers (and those 4 folks make me uncomfortable). However, there are a lot of things I do like and aspects of his family dynamics that I admire.
I suppose, in all honesty, it’s not like I would be good friends with any of them if it weren’t for our connection via husband. But, there are people in my own family who would drive me nuts and I might avoid if they weren’t family 😉
Post # 8
I can totally relate! My fiance’s family and I aren’t big fans of each other. His brother and I don’t like each other at all (long story, but basically he was mad that we moved into our own house and didn’t want him to live with us …). His sister got mad at me and deleted me from Facebook (because apparently we’re 12 years old) because I didn’t say hi to her when she and her bf randomly stopped into our house to at 11:00 PM to say goodbye to their childhood dog (we had to put her down because she was really sick) and I was in the middle of a paper for grad school. Oh, I also didn’t have a bra on .. sorry but I’m not gonna get up and say hi to you and your boyfriend with no bra on. There are tons of other situations with them too that weren’t ideal.
His family tends to love drama so honestly, even if I was perfect and did everything “right” regarding them, they would still find something to talk about. It definitely sucks, but it’s one of those “It is what it is” things. They’ll be at our wedding, as they are very important to my fiance, and I will be nice to them, but I won’t be running up for hugs and congratulations. C’est la vie!
Post # 9
OMG I actually cried about this on Saturday.
I like FI’s family for the most part, but I straight up have nothing in common with them. I get SO lonely.
Post # 10
I’m definitely from a different upbringing than my FH, but I love his family! They can be a bit ignorant at times, but hey. The only one I absolutely can’t stand is his sister’s BF/commonlaw husband. There’s so many little things… He has cheated on her, already has a grown daughter that he basically failed at a parent with. They have 2 kids, 8 year old girl and 3 year old boy. One day the boy was playing with his sisters girly headband and he LOST IT about how his SON would not be wearing any *derogatory term* clothes and was screaming at FH’s sister. I didn’t even know what to do and FH wasn’t around!!! I hate the guy so much.
Post # 11
Yes, and I’m afraid it’s his daughter. I don’t believe in coming between a parent and child, no matter what, so I grin and bear it for the most part.
Post # 12
Thank goodness I’m not the only one! I’m sorry you guys have to deal with this too, but like a lot of you said, there’s not much you can do. And just to clarify (I read back on what I wrote and it sounded a little anti-Christian, so for that I’m sorry), FH and I are both Christian as well, but both of us find it irritating that as much as his dad preaches about his Christian beliefs, he is such a hateful little man! He calls himself a Christian but then in the same breath goes into detail about why X, Y and Z deserve to die. Pretty sure the whole idea behind Christianity is to love and forgive, not hate and judge, but what do I know lol
Post # 13
karen12: Wow that has got to be so hard! I feel for you
Post # 14
There’s a few people in my husbands family that I dislike. I don’t necessarily think they’re bad people but we were raised veeerrry differently, so there are clashes in morals, values, and ideals.
Post # 15
I rarely not like someone. But lets not forget it’s 2016 and everyone is very much sensitive and offended at anything. I don’t don’t like anyone from my SO’s family, they are all great and smart people. I don’t like a lot of members of my immediate family though. Is wishing they were more like my SO’s family mean? It’s probably because we’re so different and I had to deal with them for my entire life, meaning much shit has happened, like alcoholism, divorce, needless arguments, etc. It’s very hard to admit that I don’t particularly like people that were once so close to me, truly. But once I moved out and started my life in another country, dealing with them much less meant waaaay less drama in my life. I am only feeling unhappy and stressed when I call them or visit them.