(Closed) Does anyone just NOT like a member of SO's family?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

calijess:  Not as much as you’d think, she’s in another state so it’s usually twice a year.  Except for the twice a month demands for money but we don’t comingle money so that’s on him. 

Post # 17
Member
1232 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Yeah, can’t stand fi’s dad. He’s opinionated and loud and chauvinist and totally blind to white AND male privilege.  I’m polite, but avoid him when I can.

Post # 18
Member
400 posts
Helper bee

calijess:  ugh yes my fi’s mother and sister. His sister is he devil and I won’t get into what she’s done, but it’s pretty bad shit. His mother is super irresponsible and just like a big kid. i don’t know how my fi turned out so level headed and just an overall amazing human. Just the way you don’t like your Future Father-In-Law is the same way his sister doesn’t like me And that’s fine. Unfortunately though, we all just gotta live with it. Good luck!

Post # 19
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

It’s not that I don’t like her, just that’s FI’s dad’s wife is… interesting.

For instance, when I met her, she said she was from my home city… but she had a weird accent. She later admitted she moved there when she was 18. FI’s family is warm and fuzzy and welcoming, she is… distant and awkward. She’s also bought me the oddest things for holidays… like a doll blanket.

Post # 20
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

calijess:  Fiance has two brothers who I do like, but they have some views that I find…questionable. Like, men’s rights activism and anti abortion. I just don’t raise those topics around them and excuse myself if someone else does.

Another one of his brothers has a Girlfriend who I haven’t met, but who also shares some very ignorant things on social media (mostly about how teachers and schools are useless). I side-eye all of that very hard and I can’t lie, when I do meet her my opinion of her will be coloured by the fact that she thinks people in my profession don’t work hard and don’t care about children with special needs.

Post # 21
Member
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

There are a few people in my FI’s extended family that I dislike for various reasons.

The first is one of his cousins, who is a full blown alcoholic. My Fiance, Future Mother-In-Law and FSILs also dislike this cousin as do many others in the family due to his behaviour and unwillingness to help himself. He has caused nothing but grief for his parents, has stolen from them (plus his grandparents) and has been forbidden from seeing his nieces because of how bad he scared one of them when he was drunk. He was once found lying in the gutter and was rushed to hospital – they said he had so much alcohol in his blood that he should have died. When we got engaged, my Future Mother-In-Law actually said not to include this cousin on our guestlist (he’s in involuntary rehab at the moment so it’s unlikely he’d be able to attend anyway) because it’s just not worth the drama.

The second is one of my FI’s uncles. He’s never done anything to make me dislike him, he just pretty much ignores me anytime we see him which I find to be incredibly rude. When we got engaged, he congratulated my Fiance right in front of me and did not say a word to me. I could care less whether he likes me or not, but to blatantly ignore me like that is just rude. Up until a year or so ago, he couldn’t even remember my name. I can count on one hand the number of times he has spoken to me in the almost 9 years my Fiance and I have been together.

Post # 22
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I really, really struggle with my brother-in-law’s girlfriend–it has turned into one of those things where I have been so perpetually irritated by her that everything she does now is annoying to me, whether it bothers other people or not. she is a one-upper and has a very entitled attitude about a lot of things, plus she made Mother-In-Law cry a few holidays ago because she thought Mother-In-Law liked me more than her. It was so awkward and immature and now I see everything she does in that context.

Post # 23
Member
2506 posts
Sugar bee

calijess:  firstly, everyone is NOT entitled to their opinion. that notion irks me to no end. 

You’re entitled to have an INFORMED opinion that is supported by GOOD REASONING. Unsupported, uninformed opinions are not entitlements. 

Now, that is not to say that opinions must agree with mine. But as an adult and productive member of society, you better have good reasons to support your opinions. You have an obligation to question the things you’ve been told or taught your whole life and to openly listen to and question others. That is your RESPONSIBILITY!

so the fact that your Future Father-In-Law just thinks what he does and blows you off is not acceptable, and a really good basis for not liking him. I don’t have time for such people. 

Getting off of soapbox now. 

Post # 24
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

One of my brother-in-laws is a complete and utter ass. I cannot stand him for way too many reason to get into. 

I was always told the other bil was a real piece of work too…but have only met him once – at fil’s funeral. Turns out he wasn’t that bad, and can be decent when the situation calls for it.

Post # 25
Member
3875 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

calijess:  I don’t care for DH’s brother and SIL. I won’t get into it for fear of giving too much away, but they kind of suck 99.99% of the time. They are rude, entitled, selfish, dramatic, and after cutting them out of our lives last year and expecting absolutely ZERO from them, we have been much happier. 

Post # 26
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

calijess:  haha. sprout vaginas! Sounds like a male chauvinist to me! Try to ignore him and see the funny side in it (probably hard to do when he annoys you so much though). Lovely that you get on with his mom and sister so well.

I dont get on with my Darling Husband older sister. But his younger sister is amazing. You cant win them all hun. Just keep your chin up and your dignity in tact! Try and hold your tongue where you can! x

Post # 27
Member
4246 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I can’t stand my brother in law’s SO.  We have drastically different personalities plus a significant age gap.  The thing I can’t get over is how she mooches off of other people financially.  I won’t go into details, but she has taken advantage of situations before and taken advantage of my in-laws who are people I absolutely LOVE.

Post # 28
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

WesterosBarbie:  Same here! It’s really hard sometimes. I get along with FI’s family, but when we are all sitting around talking I realize how little we have in common and it is such a lonely feeling. It’s a lot better when Fiance is there (he is pretty different from his family, but he’s known them his whole life, so he’s a good buffer), but when I’m alone with them I just want to cry sometimes.

Post # 29
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - Theater

To be honest, half of SO’s family is source of more grief than joy. I don’t hate them, but I feel thoroughly uncomfortably knowing they’re shooting daggers at me whenever they see me. Having moved halfway around the world my heart breaks knowing half of my support network hates my guts for reasons I can’t fathom.

Salt in my wounds knowing my family, extended included, absolutely loves my SO and can’t wait for our return to my home country.

Post # 30
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

 

AORiver15:  Wow, I could have said that, except it’s my BIL’s wife, not Girlfriend. The one-upping is getting downright out of hand here and for some reason Darling Husband just doesn’t understand why I don’t like being around her.  

 

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