(Closed) Does anyone just NOT like a member of SO's family?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 31
Member
1837 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes. I actually got along well with FI’s two sisters well for over a decade, but then one of them had a bizarre and unexpectedly racist reaction to a vacation Fiance and I took to another part of the world and I’ve kinda wiped my hands of her since. 

Post # 32
Member
3611 posts
Sugar bee

His dad has rubbed me the wrong way from day 1. I like the rest of his family fine but have nothing in common with them, which leads to a lot of silence and awkward convos about the weather, lol.

Post # 33
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

tinkks:  Same for me–DH is very much a peace-keeper and doesn’t want to contribute to any conflict, so he won’t ever commiserate with me. I mean, that’s honorable, but my gosh she drives me nuts and I just want to complain about it sometimes!

Post # 34
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A Historic Inn

FIs family is generally decent to be around. Certain times of the year bring out the worst in almost all of his family members, though. For example, his family has 4 birthdays and 2 holidays within 8 weeks of one another and everyone *must have* their time to shine. And if spouses are fighting, passive-aggressiveness and projection of feelings are common occurrences at family functions throughout the year. 

The biggest, ongoing issues I have had over the last 3.5 years are his family has a hard time respecting boundaries and the fact I can spend holiday time with my family, too! 😋 My annoyances, like the birthday/holiday thing, are almost always based on how different we were raised and our family dynamics. i just try to avoid them for awhile and try not to get too worked up over the little things.

Post # 35
Member
8826 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

K , calijess:  

Oh yes, can’t stand my husband’s sister  – which is a shame because we started out good  friends .  But she got to be a rather rich  and successful  property lawyer and   changed out of all recognition …

Not a lot you can  do OP , just stay polite and emotionally a bit distant . I do manage it although  I do still hate some of the things SIL  has said and written to him .

Post # 36
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee

OP: your father-in-law sounds like a creepy, sexist, slimy, homophobic, small-minded pig. How embarrassing for you all to have to dine-out together, especially with him leering at the waitresses. Just keep your distance from him and try never to be alone in his company- honestly, trust your gut, I wouldn’t put it past someone like that to be inappropriate and then claim how pious his actions are. Gross!!!!

Post # 37
Member
4891 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

calijess:  I wouldn’t say that it’s not like I don’t like some people of DH’s family… there is one aunt/uncle of his who I just find SO annoying. His uncle has to put his 2 cents into everything (and is usually wrong), and feels the ned to send out group text messages with just pointless stuff. No, I don’t need to know that you got food poisoning and have been in the bathroom puking with diarhea for the last 2 days. And then the aunt, she’s nice but just too involved for her own good… it actually sometimes makes situations worse. Like on the 4th, she came over and moved a chair that a nephew was sitting in, for no reason. I’m like, he’s this close in case he tips it over and I can catch it. Get back to your seat… ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DECK.

Post # 38
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2016

This made me feel WAY better. I cannot stand my fiances family, and the thing is they’re nice enough people but to put it bluntly they’re hillbillys! His dad and step moms house is a total mess, and they act like 10 year old kids with their drama, and his mother (who raised him) has no friends and has her nose in everyones business literally all the time. She’s a super negative person, I just can’t handle her. Glad to see I am not the only  one ! 

Post # 39
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I really don’t like my Future Father-In-Law for a number of reasons. He’s a pastor and I’m an atheist so our values don’t line up at all. He’s anti gay marriage and makes occasional racial slurs etc. Everyone at his church thinks he’s this great caring, kind pastor guy but when he’s at home he’s very antisocial, he has a very short temper and blows up at FI’s mum a lot and she is the sweetest lady and works so hard! He’s a slob who lazes around Mon-Sat, leaves papers and used dishes everywhere and watches TV all week while she works overtime and then comes home to cook and clean >:( 

He’s also just odd and hard to talk to. Lots of weird awkward pauses or makes odd jokes that no one else finds funny but he laughs. And he sways around awkwardly when you’re trying to talk to him. Doesn’t get up or say hi when you walk into the house (meanwhile Future Mother-In-Law gives you a giant hug). My parents don’t like him much at all and always say they would love to catch up with my Future Mother-In-Law but not him lol.

The thing that bugs me the most is he has a Facebook profile with FMIL’s name and picture on it instead of his, and he comments pretending to be her! Like he’ll put pictures of his wife and her friends and writes ‘me and the girls’ and she has no idea what he’s saying on there. He liked a page called ‘bikini girls.’ He writes about himself in the third person so that people think it’s his wife writing it. Like WTF. 

 

*Thanks for this thread, I needed to rant!

Post # 40
Member
1450 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - St. John\'s Lutheran Church

I am so glad I’m not alone! I borderline hate my husband’s brother. I’ve only met him twice, because he doesn’t give a shit about my husband or me, unless he needs to ask us for money, which he does monthly.

Post # 41
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Ugh… They’re all pretty bad. My Father-In-Law is the worst – I’m not good enough to marry his son, but he’ll oggle my boobs regardless. His biggest issue with me appears to be that I’m fat. The BIL’s don’t even bother with me- I replaced the eldest BIL’s spot in my DH’s life as best friend and he hates me for it. Mother-In-Law is manipulative and spineless. 

On the other hand, DH’s aunt and uncle are absolutely fabulous! They flew from the UK for less than a week for our wedding and I didn’t want them to go home… why, oh why can’t I swap in laws?! 

Post # 42
Member
2119 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

calijess:  I can totally relate. Been with dh for 10 years . A most 11 and there hasn’t been any change. I liked his dad when we first met but then comments and attitude towards things have arised. It has been . He has been the source of all our marital issues. Working on it but I just don’t see it ever resolving. He won’t chage. I’m not gunna change. I agree to disagree but he …. sigh. Some times can’t let things go. 

Post # 43
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

calijess:  lol when I first read the title I though “FI’s dad” then read your first sentence!

its not so much I dont like him, but I feel very uncomfortable around him. Then again, I find comfort around few people. But his dad just…. it’s hard to explain. I haven’t been around him much, so that could be it, but when I am, my hands get shaking, I can feel my heart beating faster and I’m just thinking “can I get out of here? Or is he going to leave?” Fi and his dad get along great. My parents get along with him great, he’s never done anything for me to think bad, he’s just kind of loud and very direct (I feel on the spot around him, which is a no go for me.) 

Post # 44
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Can’t stand DH’s brother and his wife.  I’m already dreading the family time I have to spend with them this coming Saturday.  They always say something that bothers or annoys me.  They have zero filter or manners, but chew you out when you say or do anything that slightly offends them, even though it shouldn’t.   Darling Husband said he wasn’t particularly comfortable when a male masseuse gave him a massage.  His brother’s wife  proceeded to yell at him for being a homophobe at a restaurant.  Whatever, but yet she didn’t say shit when her husband (DH’s brother) threw dirty napkins in one of our friends’ faces because he thought it would be funny.  Disgusting.

Post # 45
Member
2656 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: County courthouse

My husband has 5 sisters and there is 2 that I just can’t stand. 1 I don’t know well enough to judge and the other 2 are sweethearts. I love my fil and mil, they are great.

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