(Closed) Does anyone keep the gender of the baby a surprise anymore?

posted 7 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 32
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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colorofmyheart:  Same. None of the women in my family found out, and i think it’s 50/50 with the other women i know who have given birth. 

I would be ok with finding out and keeping it a secret, DH is dead set on not finding out. He wants the surprise and excitement in the room. 

Post # 33
1019 posts
Bumble bee

I feel like when the parents find out the baby’s sex varies a lot by region, and in particular, the parents’ ages. I’ve noticed that both online and with people I know IRL, that younger parents are more likely to find out before birth<br /><br />In fact, out of all the people my age who are parents (I’m 19), I can’t think of a single couple/mother who waited until birth. My best guess is that since I bet many of those pregnancies were unplanned, the parents wanted to know the sex so that they had at least one consistent thing to hold on to during an ordinarily difficult transition in life. If you are a 19/20-ish year old woman with a high chance of being single and one day you discover that you’re pregnant, it’s going to be even harder than, say, what my parents, then in their mid-thirties, learned my mom was pregnant with me.<br /><br />That theory aside, I’d rather wait until birth to find out the sex. IMO, finding out around 20 weeks establishes expectations about what a child will be like before birth. While this may be comforting to many, I believe that the small chance of error in finding out the sex at that point combined with the fact that sex is not equal to gender leads to making assumptions about what the child will be like based off of their genitalia.<br /><br />Am I overthinking it? Probably. Anyway, DBF would rather find out before birth, so I suppose we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by  Luvdisc.
Post # 34
3003 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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Daizy914:  My husband and I were both really excited about NOT finding out. We looked away during the 20 week ultrasound when the technician said he’d be looking at the goods. We left the appointment still not knowing, and were stoked about it. When we got home, we looked at the pictures on a CD we’d been given- and there is one picture that pretty clearly shows, I think, a penis. I was upset and disappointed, not to be having a boy, but that our surprise was “ruined.” We have not told anyone that it’s a boy, in case we’re wrong, and I don’t even want the sex confirmed….I’m just bummed that it (probably) won’t be a true surprise at birth. So that is a different scenario that I think happens often- you don’t want to know but you find out by accident anyway! 🙁

Post # 35
1113 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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Daizy914:  I actually have a third friend having a baby who has opted not to find out before hand! I thought this same thing, with the whole “sex reveal” parties and annoucenments I was like, doesn anybody want the surprise??

My friend had a baby, and they were all set to fin out the sex, and right before the ultrasound, her husband’s co worker convinced him to wait, he told him “it’s the only true surprise in life”, and her husby was sold, but she wasn’t so they found out, but I think about that often now. DH and I are sort of TTC and we always just figured we would hands down want to know, but I guess until we’re actually there, I’m not sure I would want to!

Post # 36
2652 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

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Daizy914:  I’m from Ireland and it’s actually more common here not to find out. Out of all my friends, only two found out and one of them is not Irish.

Post # 37
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ve always planned on finding out, though that may change when my SO and I fall pregnant as he would rather wait.

Post # 38
7425 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I had always planned on finding out, and I’m glad that I did. It helped me feel more connected to my pregnancy, and it helped us feel like it was more real to us.

We were still totally surprised, and we had the tech choose an “It’s a girl!” or “It’s a boy!” sign that I made and out it in an envelope so we could open it at home. We made a great video of us opening it together, and it’s obvious how happy and surprised we were. I kind of hate when team greeners insinuate that there is no surprise element if you find out the sex while you’re still pregnant.

We also stick to gender neutral items, such as stroller/swing/jumperoo, and we have some clothing that is gender neutral as well that can be used in the future if necessary.

I have met a lot of people recently who are team green, and I say good for them. The anticipation would have killed me, and there’s no way I could have waited that long to find out.

Post # 39
1496 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

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Cory_loves_this_girl:  I kind of hate when team greeners insinuate that there is no surprise element if you find out the sex while you’re still pregnant.

+111111. Even on this thread there is a clear air of superiority for some. (Person saying unplanned young find out more….seriously?!). We are late 20’s and tried for over a year and when the time came it was still an amazing moment.

 I’m a high stress person who likes plans. I wanted to know before simply because it made it easier to be slightly less stressed(aka only having to decide on one name, health decisions, and bonding). I don’t balance any expectations on my unborn baby because I know she’s a girl. I don’t judge anyone else for choosing to know as its a personal decision but I find it annoying when others say ” its not a surprise”. Well guess what, it’s a 50/50 shot, you aren’t having a giraffe or something and it’s just as much of a surprise and exciting moment no matter when you find out. 

Post # 40
1143 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I plan on not finding out (I’m not pregnant nor TTC), but if we ever do have kids, I might change my mind. I’m not sure my husband’s thoughts on the matter, because I guess I’ve never asked if he’d want to know or not! If he did want to know, I like to think I’d be okay with just him knowing, though I have a feeling he’d slip up at some point and blurt it out…

Post # 41
185 posts
Blushing bee

I plan on finding out, though we’re not TTC yet. I also plan on keeping it secret, because I don’t want to receive a bunch of tutus for a girl or a bunch of trucks for a boy. I hate the whole idea that pink is for girls and blue is for boys. I agree with the others that have said that not finding out is more the norm than finding out these days, though. I figure the surprise is the same whether its on delivery or during the pregnancy. 

Post # 42
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Fiance and I are not pregnant yet, but we have decided to keep it a surprise.  I only know of one couple personally that kept it a surprise until the day of delivery.

Post # 43
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

A friend of mine just had a baby, and she kept the gender a secret all the way till she delivered this weekend. It was cute to see all the facebook expressions, and the “oohing and aahing” over the name. Don’t know if I could keep that big of a secret, but its certainly a fun idea.<br />I’ve also seen people do gender reveal parties, which are cute too. Not sure which path I will take when I hit the mommy stage, both are great in their own way.

Post # 44
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I cannot keep secrets for the life of me, so I will want to know!  That being said, I love the idea of having it written down, coming home, and finding out together privately!  Great suggestion.

Post # 45
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I dont want to know, I love surprises! My husband does want to know though. When the time comes, he will find out but not tell me. I wish that he would wait until delivery with me, but Im not going to impose my feelings on him and make him wait with me.

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