Does anyone think I *should* ask my ex to give things another try?

posted 1 week ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
2275 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

rachel351 :  I would be very curious to hear how your meet ups go, from his point of view. The way you romanticize everything SO much is just kind of bizarre.

Ask him if he wants to be in a relationship with you, yes or no, nothing in between. Then either be together, or don’t and finally move on.

Post # 4
Member
2028 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

This is the guy you made no less than 4 or 5 posts breaking down every minute interaction you two had and asking bees what this meant?

 

Listen, I don’t think you are capable of a laid back approach to dating. You scrutinize every possible word he says for a deeper meaning and you stress out the second you think he’s losing interest.

 

This guy has a host of issues and pulls back from you every time he starts to feel uncomfortable. This is not a good match for you.

Post # 6
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - City, State

Oh man. This guy again. I read your previous posts about him and it is apparent that you cannot get him out of your system. At this point I say go for it. Try again. It will blow up horribly in your face but sometimes we have to learn things the hard way before we are ready to change our relationship standards.

Post # 7
Member
385 posts
Helper bee

Public Service Announcement:  There are other men out there that don’t have more issues than National Geographic.  Consider dating one of them instead.

Post # 8
Member
2028 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

rachel351 :  Tatum – we’ve met up lots of times and I haven’t been posting about it. I ask this now because circumstances are about to change 

 

Come on now, you haven’t posted about it because you guys have been ostensibly “just friends”. The minute you turn your relationship back to romantic the head games are going to start, and your anxiety is going to come back.

Post # 11
Member
2471 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

Based on all your updates, it sounds like you don’t really want advice. You just want us to tell you we agree with you. So in that case, give it another shotG, but don’t be surprised when it fails again. Good luck?!!?

Post # 12
Member
2028 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

He’s been more consistent because he has no obligation to you. He can get the enjoyment of your company without feeling like he owes you anything. Once that changes, so will he.

 

Look, if you need to see this through so you don’t wonder what if, by all means, go ahead. You know what the risks are, and you know what his track record is.

Post # 14
Member
2028 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would be very surprised if anyone on this board thought it was a good idea to give a romantic relationship with this guy another try.  But I’ve been surprised before.

Post # 15
Member
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

 Bee, based on your posts it doesn’t seem like you’re able to look at things through the most objective lens.  You describe feeling so wonderful around him, yet your past posts reveal a lot of anxiety and questioning. To me if this special connection only came from someone who was unwilling to commit to me and stepped back everytime things were getting more intimiate it would make me do some serious introspection to make sure the connection I was chasing was really the best one for me.  In some ways I can relate because I dated a guy a few years ago where it was the strongest connection I thought I’d ever had and so different than my previous relationship, but it blinded me to the fact we weren’t compatible at all.  It took more time dating but I found my husband.  And not only do we have a great connection but we are compatible and our relationship takes my anxiety away rather than adding to it.

Even if you want to be more officially romantic you have no idea if he will want to be.  I find it telling he is more comfortable and romantic when there is no commitment or labels involved.  He may want to keep the status quo.  Personally since he was the one who had the hesitations before if he changed his mind I would expect him to initiate it.  But his past experience with you has also shown him he can keep things entirely on his own terms and get what he needs and he won’t lose you in the process.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors