Post # 1
Maybe I am crazy but before the bee I didn’t know much about charting, temperatures, figuring out fertile days, etc. Actually, I still don’t know much about any of that. Does anyone just have sex and hope for the best, or is it a very planned out activity? Am I “wasting time” having sex if I don’t do it when I am supposed to? 😛
We are not TTC yet, but we will be shortly after the official wedding. I was thinking that we would just have sex everyday and hope for the best…is that stupid? It seems everyone else is a lot more organized about these things than I am. How long does it usually take? My sister is fertile mertile so she is no help at all.
Post # 3
I don’t know about any other Bees, but even when I was charting my temperature, we still DTD when we wanted to, not like “Ok hun, let’s give it a whirl on Tuesday and Thursday” haha.
Sex outside the fertile window is never “wasting time” in my opinion, because intimacy is important. Any chance to connect on an intimate level is not wasted 🙂
Also, from what I hear, it’s best to do the humpty-hump every OTHER day to allow the sperm to fully replenish or something. I’m totally not a sperm scientist, though, so take that with a grain of salt.
Post # 4
@DaneLady: I feel like charting and doing all of that stuff I don’t fully understand would be so tedious. I really don’t want to. I wasn’t sure if it is just people with fertility issues who calculate when to have sex or if it is something everyone does and I am outside the norm.
I can see what you mean though, I don’t want sex to become robotic and only to produce a baby. I would not want a relationship that didn’t have physical intimacy just for the sake of it. I was mostly kidding when I said “waste of time,” lol. MrPanda99 would not go for that 😛
Post # 5
@MrsPanda99: I didn’t think you intended that very seriously haha! I do tend to have longer cycles, and if not for charting I wouldn’t have known that I ovulate later in my cycle than a “normal” person. But I am a lab geek so I kind of like gathering data and interpreting it, so charting was not tedious and did not cause me any additional stress. I feel like if it stresses you out, then you shouldn’t do it. If you have fairly normal cycles then BD every other day or so and it’s likely you’ll hit some kind of fertile window. If it doesn’t work after a few months, then it might be a good idea to chart, even just your temp, for a while to see if there’s something going on.
Post # 6
I agree with everything DaneLady said. I charted but I had just come off the pill after 8+ years and I wanted to make sure I was ovulating regularly. Overall, we were pretty casual about TTC. We didn’t stress BD timing too much and I actually got pregnant by just doing it when I was feeling particularly in the mood, even though I assumed (from charting the previous few months) that I had already ovulated.
Just have fun with it for a while. If it doesn’t happen as fast as you would like, you can always look into charting, etc. later on. Good luck!
Post # 7
@MrsPanda99: I read all the charting/temping stuff, and went “That is going to terrify my husband.”
So we went on our honeymoon and had as much sex as we could possibly manage.
Post # 8
I didnt realize how many people charted before i came on the bee. However alot of the girls i know in real life DONT chart. My friends has had trouble conceiving and i asked if she charted and she gave me a weird look like “what are you talking about?”. Which i thought was odd because i figured you should chart to give yourself a better shot at conception!!
I’m charting now to avoid my fertile window because i wanted to come off BC and let my body get back to normal before TTC. When we are TTC, we agreed we will just bang every day for a month and hope for the best. LOL. No but we definitely will do it every day of my fertile window.
Post # 9
@MrsPanda99: I had the intention of charting, but the month I got pregnant was the first month I actually started taking my temperature. I am glad I got pregnant so easily and quickly because I really still didn’t understand temping. I downloaded the FF app becuase I knew you had a better chance of ending up pregnant if you BD’d on your O days, so because we were actively trying we made sure to hit up those days, but the rest of the month was most definitely not wasted 😉
Post # 10
I think the Bee gives you a weird view of “normal” on this. I don’t think most people chart. I’ve had similar conversations as PP – lots of friends who had trouble conceiving – when I asked them if they charted, they looked at me like I had two heads. One woman even had an appt to get IVF started but had never charted.
Unless you have known issues (PCOS, endo, long cycles, etc), I think you are totally fine to “just have fun” for a while. If after 6 months or so and no luck, then maybe look into it.
My doctor recommended charting for me for 2 reasons -1) I’m 38 and we/he wanted to maximize our chances and 2) I’d been on birth control for 17+ years and he wanted to make sure I was ovulating and when I was ovulating.
Post # 11
I’ve been amazed at the amount of science that seems to go into getting a bun in the oven on the Bee. I have no idea what it is all about and have no intention of finding out unless we have problems. I figured you just go off BC and carry on as normal, then at some point, all being well you find out your pregnant!
Post # 12
@MrsPanda99: We are currently TTC – but I am not charting or using OPKs. I have been tracking my cycles on the calendar and just more in tune with my body in general. I really didnt want to deal with taking my tempature everyday – especially since i would have to do it vaginally since I sleep with my mouth open. My Darling Husband and I are just having tons of sex. We did it 8 days in a row right after AF ended – and now we are doing every other day. If I’m not knocked up by the end of this year, I’ll visit my doctor and ask her if I should start temping.
Post # 13
@MrsBaldEagle: I don’t even know what OPK means. I would be useless at calculating. I like your approach – lots of sex, lol.
@BrandNewBride: @megz06: I am really hoping that happens for us!
@Swizzle: @Glasgowbound: I don’t know anyone in real life who does it either. My sister didn’t even know what I was talking about she is soon to be a mother of 4. I guess I will have to figure out the process if we have issues, but I’m obviously hoping that isn’t the case.
@LilLis: That is my plan!
Post # 14
I wasn’t even thinking of TTC until I joined the Bee. Then I made the mistake of clicking over to the Nesting threads and it was all over for me. I pay WAY more attention to my cycles than I ever have before and symptom spotting in the two week wait is torture. I don’t temp, but I do chart to see patterns in my cycle so each month when I’m like “my boobs hurt, must be pregnant!” I can look back and see that noooo your boobs ALWAYS hurt after ovulation. I have a pretty average 28 day cycle so I know roughly when I ovulate but we still just have sex whenever. If we hit the FW great, if not, oh well.
Post # 15
@MrsPanda99: OPK is an ovulation predictor test. Just another way to try to time when to do the deed.
Post # 16
@MrsPanda99: I’m with you, I don’t get the serious temping and charting and tracking right off the bat. Sure, if you have known fertility issues or have been trying without success for a few months, then go for the I’m ovulating, let’s get it on. But, it seems like a lot of people get really caught up from the get go.
We didn’t plan it. I stopped BC and the one and only time he didn’t pull the goalie I got pregnant. I’m sure we’re lucky that we just so happened to pick the “right” day of the month to get it on without protection, but it only takes 1 time!
I think people gt caught up in the horror stories they hear and just assume it will take lots of time to get pregnant so they overly prepare. In actuality, I think a lot more people have a way easier time getting pregnant then you hear about.