- 6 years ago
I’m getting married in a couple months to a man who has been married before. They share an 8 year old son, and we split the tme 50/50.
I get really insecure when I think of his ex. I know he was devastated when she left and tried to get her back several times. They got married really young and he fully admits to taking the majority of the fault in the divorce because he treated her wrong and wouldn’t work on the problems like she did, but has since grown and understands what a relationship is, and treats me really well.
I just can’t help feeling insecure around her, wondering if I’m second place! First off, she’s beautiful and probably a size 0 compared to my 10. She dresses very well and holds a great job, making way more than either my Fiance or myself. She got remarried to a man and you can tell they just adore each other, and I know he makes a ton of money because he owns his own consulting company. A mutual friend mentioned to us that before she dated her now husband, she was with a neurosurgeon for awhile before she broke it off. Not to mention stb stepson LOVES his stepdad and the feeling is mutual, and while he and I get along fine we definitely haven’t bonded as much.
Not only that, but we’ve had to go to their house for DH’s son’s birthday party. It’s is double the size of ours AND PAID OFF (stb stepson mentioned it innocently once since they work a lot with him to teach him about investing and money), and of course, nicely decorated. For the birthday party, she cooked the food and baked all the goodies, which of course, tasted amazing.
Did I mention she’s in the midst of finishing not her first, but her SECOND master’s degree? I guess she needed an MBA to go along with the masters in computer science…
Fiance and I just recently decided to call off our planned familymoon to Disney because of cost, schedules, etc. Obviously stb stepson was bummed. Without even knowing our plans, she emails Fiance to make sure they can take him over his spring break….to Italy and Paris, including Disney Paris. UGH!!!
The total kicker to all of this? She and her husband are actually the nicest people, have always been kind and I can’t see that she deliberately tries to one-up anyone. Even Fiance will only say nice things about her, though I know he doesn’t love her anymore. I would feel better about this if I could hate her, but there just isn’t a reason to….she just seems like someone any man would want, and I can’t imagine Fiance wanting to leave her. I feel like the consolation prize.
FI assures me he loves me and would never leave me, but I just feel so insecure.