(Closed) Does anyone wish they waited longer?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Nope, because then I wouldn’t have had the beautiful daughter I love right now.

Post # 4
Member
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I am interested in this perspective as well, hope someone gives their imput!

Post # 5
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

Yep I’m interested too 🙂 Our parents are older which makes me want to hurry up – so they get to know them as long as possible! But I wonder about this too.

Post # 6
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

A lot of my friends who waited for multiple years after marriage now say they wish they hadn’t waited so long.  I’m sure there are some people out there with the opposite perspective though.  I’m curious. 

Post # 7
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

i have baby fever so bad right now but we want to wait for the same reasons. i’m hoping someone can give some good insight on this.

Post # 8
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Our decision to start a family was made somewhat quickly, and we got pregnant immediately.  I don’t regret that decision at all.  Parenthood isn’t easy; there will probably be times you’ll think wistfully back on your pre-baby life, but those moments are brief and don’t happen very often.  And the joy and love my daughter has brought into my life is impossible to imagine.  If I could do it all over again, exactly as before, I would.  Now that I know how amazing having a baby is, I would never want to postpone it.

Post # 9
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

Well our baby is only 2 months old so I don’t have much experience being a mommy, but so far no regrets! We started TTC right after we got married and got pregnant with her 8 months after the wedding.

There’s ups and downs, good things and bad things about having a baby, but of course having her outweighs all of the bad stuff!

Post # 10
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I just think it would be impossible to regret. but that is because i am so IN LOOOOVE right now with baby. There is nowhere that I could go/travel/do that would be better than coming home to that adorable little face!

Post # 11
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think anyone will tell you that they regret not waiting because everyone who has kids loves them and can’t imagine their lives without them 🙂

On the downside, most of my friends and family who have young kids, to be honest, are very stressed out.  A lot of older relatives comment to me about how difficult it was having young children.  I’ve also seen a few marriages really struggle.

On the other hand, for most people who have kids, the stress is worth it. If you are having doubts, you are young enough to wait a while.  How does your husband feel about it?

Post # 12
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Can anyone who does/did regret not waiting please post, and go into great detail about the wonders of Before the Baby Time, so that I can attempt to argue against my broodyness? I’ve been with my guy for 6 years, living together for 4, and well, I don’t see the point in waiting long after we get married.

Seriosly though, I’m interested in seeing replies on both sides.

Post # 13
Member
775 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I do not have a child but I wanted to post something. My Fiance and I discussed having children several years ago and we decided to wait til I was almost 30 (so 7 years from now) because I wanted to travel, have my own life, be young,  etc. Now I’m in baby mode and I want children sooner rather than later. Honestly, I don’t think that because you have a children you cannot travel or anything. I have already told my mother and my Future Mother-In-Law that when I have a baby and come vacation time they get the kids while I’m gone! Sounds horrible, but I do not plan to bring my kids on EVERY vacation with me. Sometimes mommy and daddy need alone time. 

Post # 14
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t have kids but here’s my take. I am currently 28 (marreid at 27) and plan(ed) to wait until 30 to think about starting a family (career, living abroad, etc.). We know we want kids at some point. In this first year of marriage there have been several occasions on which I thought about having children sooner. Any time I think I really could have a child now, I look at my life and think about how my days would be differnt with a baby/child in them. Then I realize my life would change dramatically and as much as I want to have a family, I am not ready for a dramatic change right now and still have time. For example, Darling Husband recently took a job in another city and we only see each other on the weekends until I am ready to quit my job and move with him. We made this decision together but it would not be sustainable if we had a baby. I typically work 9-10 hour days and then go to the gym after work 2 days a week which would also not work with a baby. This month alone, I have 2 girls weekends planned with different friends and in December have booked a 4 day ski trip. Darling Husband has been traveling for work 3 days out of each week for the last mnth since starting his new job (part of why it does not matter if we live in the same city or not). I have a work event in the evening about 1-2 times per month. These are all examples of things which would be hard to do with a child. I know it’s not impossible but spontaneously meeting up with friends after work would not work. Further, we don’t live near family and taking a baby on a ski trip would not be relaistic. At this point in my life, I’d rather not have to worry about keeping milk in my fridge and sticking to a regular schedule. I’m sure I’ll get there but I like my freedom to have a career and enjoy Darling Husband. Within the year I will move to be with him and have a new job and then I’m sure I’ll revisit the baby possibility again. Sorry this got long and personal, my point is really that I think you should look at what you would realistically need to give up and determine if you are ready to do so. I’m sure anyoen who is a parent would say it’s worth giving up these things but for now, I enjoy them and choose to wait to enjoy my child(ren) in the future.

Post # 15
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Well, I’ll raise my hand. We had been together 5 years, lived together for 3.5 of those, got married, found out we were pregnant 2 months later. Do I wish we had waited a little longer? Yes. Does that mean I don’t love my son? Absolutely not. I don’t care how prepared you are, how much money you have, etc.. it is very stressful to have a new baby. I started a new stressful career 3 months after my baby was born and the combination has pushed my stress level to the max. The hardest thing for me has been coming to terms with the loss of freedom.

Post # 16
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@ashleyyyg: I’m glad you relatives are very accomodating, but my mom has always said that when I have kids, don’t expect free babysitting from grandma. Of course she’ll want to see my kids but I know that I could never just drop them off because I want to go on vacation. And I’m sure my Future Mother-In-Law wouldn’t appreciate it either. Besides, as a child I would have been so upset to see my parents go on a fun vacation while I got left behind somewhere. Although I doubt we can afford to travel before we have kids, I don’t think we would travel much as just a couple after kids either.

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