(Closed) does every guy have “the one that got away?”…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Does every man have a "the one that got away" before you?
    yes : (12 votes)
    10 %
    no : (99 votes)
    81 %
    other - describe below : (11 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2714 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Uh no. Fiance and I are open about our past relationships. I know how many people he dated and why it didn’t work out between them. There is not one that he thinks “got away”.

    Post # 4
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I was FI’s first serious girlfriend. He dated some chick before me for a few months but she didn’t mean anything to him. So no, I don’t think that every guy has “one that got away”. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    89 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @cherrycoke: I will say that I did have “one that got away” but I got her back. Miss Tattoo and I were together as teens (17-21) and we were just too young, too naive about the world, and too selfish to take care of each other. We broke up and every woman I dated after was just…I don’t know…taking up time and space. I never felt 100% committed in any of my relationships after Miss Tattoo. Of course, I didn’t realize that until we met up again. So, she got away, but I got her back.

    I don’t believe every guy has one of those, but it’s somewhat true. Sometimes you are going to date a person who loved another person deeper than you. It doesn’t make your love any less, it just…isn’t the same.

    Oh…and every guy is going to lie about their past relationships to the new girl. The new girlfriend doesn’t want to hear about mindblowing sex, the deep connections, wonderful conversations, and all the things you did together. Just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean he hated her.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1843 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I don’t think so either … but I’d sure be curious to see what MEN have to say about that one.

    I used to be the IT manager at my work and I had everyone’s passwords for their computers.  One of the married men told me that his password was his college girlfriend’s last name … that always bothered me.  No way would I want my husband using an ex’s name for ANYTHING (obviously she’s still on his mind)!  I lost respect for that guy after that.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Fiance definitely didn’t have “the one that got away.” Although I know for a fact that some of his exes think that he was “the one that got away!” lol.

    I have heard other guys mention this phenomenon though. I think when you get into your 30s there are many people that you could have married or could have made work.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @Mr. Tattoo: AWWW! My Fiance and I have the SAME story. We dated in high school but he went off to the military and I went to school…needless to say we were unhappy and broke it off. 3 years later we got back together, and we are happy and getting married! 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I don’t think ALL guys have them, but I bet a lot do.

    @ Mr. Tattoo: I think you’re right that sometimes you are going to date a person who loved anaother person deeper than you. I disagree that it doesn’t make your love any less. I would neither choose to marry nor want to marry someone if I or they were in this situation.

    Post # 10
    Member
    684 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2009

    @Mr. Tattoo:Thanks for putting in a guys point of veiw!!! =) This is why we NEED some guys on the bee!

     I don’t think my husband has “the one who got away” because all of his ex’s were seriously trashy. (not trying to make myself feel better either!) But I’m serious in the term “trashy” as in either just plain skanky or litterally dirty “trashy”. Yuck.

     I would hate to think he settled on me because his first best “got away”. =(

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    89 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @lsvogel: that’s just life. Sometimes shit doesn’t work out but you move on. What is “love” anyway? It’s a chemical reaction. Just because a man may have loved deeper with another woman than you doesn’t mean he isn’t 100% committed. He may be loyal, devoted, adores you, worships the ground you walk on, wants to to spend his life with you, ect. and just because he had an ex that he “loved” deeper you wouldn’t want him?

    If he’s moved on with his feelings for that person, what does it matter. People have different connections. I could have had a deeper intellectual connection with a woman after Miss Tattoo but it doesn’t mean that when I’m with her now that I think about that connection with that other woman. (for info, none of my exes compared to Miss T. I’m just not saying that either)

    BUT I know that Miss Tattoo and her previous ex had a deep deep deep physical connection and they often talked about things that I have no interest in. That doesn’t mean that she loves me any less or should not be getting married because she had sex 10 times a day and talked about the Rolling Stones with an ex.

    Post # 12
    Member
    684 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2009

    @MissTattoo: If you read this I’m just letting you know that you have a keeper!!!!

    Post # 13
    Member
    381 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    My Fiance doesn’t but I have an ex Boyfriend or Best Friend who I’m almost certain thinks I’m the one who got away. Just recently he’s been texting me memorable moments of what happened that day when we were dating. (my bday and new years, for instance). The NYE text had something to do with us hooking up. We broke up in Dec of 2006 so this is just crazy to me!!! He also has a long-term Girlfriend. I fear that he’s going to do something crazy before we get married. Fiance doesn’t know about this and he would go NUTS if he knew.

    Post # 14
    Member
    7300 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @Mr. Tattoo: Wow! 10 times a day!? lol (for the record, it was nowhere neear 10 times  a day. Maybe like…7)

    I don’t think every guy has that one, but I agree that he may have had a deeper connection in some aspects with another woman.

    Post # 15
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @ Mr. Tattoo: I get what you’re saying and I understand what you mean about relationships being ‘deeper’ in different areas with different people. Your perspective is very interesting and thanks for sharing it. I guess my reaction to your comment was to a ‘deeper’ love overall.

    I loved my ex before my Fiance very deeply and was devastated for a long time after we broke up. When my Fiance and I started to get serious, I was conscious of the fact that I still loved my ex and thought I wasn’t being fair to my Fiance since I would never love him as deeply. I was pretty elated when I realized that my love for my Fiance had surpassed my love for my ex and I felt that I could finally commit to a life with him. About eight months later we were engaged.

    Post # 16
    Member
    843 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Mine doesn’t seeing as how I’m his first girlfriend ever!  But I know guys have this fantasy of “the one that got away”, but there’s a reason she got away…something wasn’t working!

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