Does everyone get a +1?

posted 1 year ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

do what’s right for you and if you don’t want to give plus 1 or can’t fit someone into your budget invite them at night to cause no harm! Don’t let anyone tell you what to do with your guest list is my opinion.

 

Post # 17
Member
947 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

If inviting both halves of couples runs your guest list up too high, you invite fewer couples (and singles). But you must invite both halves of a social unit, and the members of the couple decide if they are a couple.

I wouldn’t go to your wedding if you didn’t invite Darling Husband (and I wouldn’t be friends with you anymore, either). I wouldn’t have attended without him when we were first engaged (we’d known each other about a month). I know a couple who got married after knowing each other three days; still married after forty years. This cannot be decided by arbitrary timelines and external judgments. Ten years ago, “no ring, no bring” (heartless judgement) would have cut out most gay partnerships in the world–they weren’t allowed by law to be married so why get engaged?

I know there are some who say they wouldn’t be offended if their partner wasn’t invited. Anyone ask the partner how s/he feels about being left out?

It doesn’t matter if you know them. Darling Husband and I were married less than six months after we met. I hadn’t met about half of his guests; he didn’t know about half of mine; it was lovely to meet each other’s friends and relatives. And their partners.

Post # 18
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

I was always taught that a good host should throw a good party and strive to make sure that everyone enjoys themselves. I couldn’t get excited about an event that I couldn’t bring a date to. Not giving someone a plus one because they’re single is to treat them like a child. Very rude in my opinion. I’m in the camp that people should change the venue or have less guests in order to throw a great party they can afford 

Post # 19
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

  

Post # 20
Member
958 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Those telling you that it’s ok to not invite someone’s so are wrong.  It’s not ok and if you do so you’re breaking basic etiquette 101.   It doesn’t matter if you’ve never met them or if you’re having a tiny wedding.   If you invite your friend June then you need to invite her so.  Don’t twist yourself into knots wondering if they’re serious enough.  If they’ve identified as being in a serious relationship then they’re serious.   You don’t need to decide that.  If you can’t afford to invite June’s so then you can’t afford to invite June and you leave them both off the guest list.  As for true plus ones, it’s not required but of course nice if budget allows.   We gave plus ones to everyone who was traveling,  wouldn’t know anyone,  and all single members of wedding party. Only one person brought someone.  

Post # 21
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

oceangirl40 :   “If you can’t afford to invite June’s so then you can’t afford to invite June and you leave them both off the guest list.“

exactly!  The point of the party is to thank your guests for joining in on your special day. Without their SO or an option to bring a date, it’d feel like an inconvenient obligation to attend. 

The “I don’t want people I don’t know at my wedding” is just being cheap if you ask me. 

Post # 22
Member
3555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

jemmlove12 :  the fact that weddings are expensive isn’t an excuse to be rude and break up couples. you don’t *have* to invite anyone to your wedding at all. but should you *choose* to invite someone, you are obligated to invite their partner. your financial management doesn’t put you above this.

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