(Closed) Does everyone get this??

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you had an ex lover contact you since you've been engaged/married and begged for you back?
    Yes, bastard. : (30 votes)
    31 %
    Yes, and I did it! : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Yes, and I did it, and I have lived to regret it. : (1 votes)
    1 %
    No. : (66 votes)
    67 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    11747 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Not yet, but I’ve still got a few months to go before the wedding! 😉  Definitely had with a new relationship, but not with the engagment.

    Post # 4
    Hostess
    11166 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I totally get it. I have had to cut long time male friends out of my life for this exact reason. I even had an ex try to persuade me to perhaps leave my husband someday (I JUST got married) via text.

    With my 140 pound weight loss and then engagement it was down right ridiculous. That being said it only made me appreciate what I have more…someone who has loved me through it all. That is what you have now so stick with him. People are bound to want what they can’t have and it is rarely a real thing.

    Post # 5
    Member
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Wow how selfish of your ex. You’ve finally moved on and now happy and he wants to destroy that.

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    1297 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Holy cow! I haven’t had that happen. I doubt it will to me.

    Post # 7
    Member
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Yes I had that exact same thing happen. In fact I could have written your post myself.   Past relationship was super passionate with really high highs and really low lows and we broke up not because the love died but because we either didn’t know how to handle the relationship/were too immature or because we realized despite the love and crazy chemistry, we were just not right for each other.

    It took me years to really 100% get over him but we remained on good terms.  I think he always thought that I would be there waiting for him when he was ready, but I moved on and found someone better.  A month before my wedding he called me telling me he still loved me, regretted our breakup and asked me not to get married.  I didn’t for a second consider calling off my wedding because I love Darling Husband on a whole other level that is really unparalleled but it did sort of make all those old, long buried feelings flood to the surface.  I had to tell him that if he wanted to stay in my life, he needed to promise me to never say things like that out loud again.  

    Post # 8
    Member
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    double post

    Post # 9
    Member
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    This seems to be a major trend on this website, that’s for sure. I like how TreeJewel put it… “someone who has loved me through it all.”

    Post # 11
    Member
    75 posts
    Worker bee

    I’ve seen this situation play out numerous times, and it has been the subject of many books and movies. It never ends well with the bad boy. Your feelings for him linger because you guys have unresolved history. You can’t have him and he can’t have you, and that is really attractive to some people. In the long run, he won’t make you happy. Passion like this with super high highs and super low lows will wear you both down. It’s exhausting, and eventually, when all of the lust wears off, you’ll resent eachother and make eachother miserable. Sailor sounds like he needs to grow up. He’s a boy, and it sounds like your Fiance is a man. I completely understand why you feel torn, but in reality, it should be a no brainer. Just like you said in your first post, Sailor is only saying this to you now because he knows he can never have you again. He had you once, and it didn’t work out. You both need to let eachother go now.

    I personally wouldn’t let him anywhere near my current life. Cut off all contact. He’s not worth upsetting what you currently have with your Fiance.

    If you truly aren’t happy with your Fiance, then you need to figure that out, but separate your feelings from Sailor. It’s normal to want what you can’t have, but if Sailor had never reappeared in your life, would you still be feeling this way?

    Post # 13
    Member
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My ex didn’t ask for me back… but he did have some really rude things to say. After he found out I’d gotten engaged, I got all kinds of texts. 

    “Hey fire crotch! What’s this I hear about you getting married? I thought you were smarter than that.” 

    I told him in no uncertain terms he could NOT call me names like that and it was NOT appropriate, and he said “it’s a free country I will if I want to, and you know me I don’t care what other people think”

    “Marriage is for idiots.” Told him I wasn’t having this conversation with him. 

    “I thought you learned a thing or two dating me…all the statistics show that your marriage will fail. congrats on getting married too young and making the biggest mistake of your life.” 

    This conversation kept going… he wouldn’t stop texting me, and I couldn’t block his number (not an option through my wireless provided then) so I eventually I had to get really mean to shut him up… said some things I’m not proud of, but he hasn’t texted me since then and it was over a year ago. 

    What a condescending jackass… I can promise you he never treated me that way when we were together, but it certainly drives home how right I was leaving him. 

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    3692 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Is it at all possible that neither of these guys is right for you?  There has to be a happy medium somewhere between fiery-explosive passion that also hurts like hell and being slowly driven crazy because you’re trapped in a boring geographical location.

    Post # 15
    Member
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    An old friend who basically wanted nothing to do with me for 4 years asked to hang out together. It was so bizzare. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Also, to anyone with annoying exes: they’re jealous. Just ignore them. Seriously, don’t even respond to that crap. 

    The topic ‘Does everyone get this??’ is closed to new replies.

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