Post # 1
We are having a small-ish (38 people) destination wedding. We each have one attendant, there is a flower girl and two ring bearers, two pastors and a friend who is singing a solo.
We are planning a very casual rehearsal the day before the actual ceremony, more for the benefit of my sanity than anythings else lol
My current dilemma is about who will be attending the rehearsal and how it will be any different than the actual ceremony (minus the pretty dress, etc…). Honestly, I can’t think of a single person of the 38 who will be making the trip who will not come to the rehearsal.
For instance, my maid of honour and her two kids (FG and Ring Bearer1) will need to be there. Well, it only makes sense that her husband come too. Same goes for the best man and the soloist – Their wives will probably come too. Our other ring bearer will have to come with his parents and knowing Future Sister-In-Law and Future Brother-In-Law (RB2’s grandparents), they’ll just show up too. I have many more examples, but I think you get the idea.
I just don’t want a bunch of people standing around on the day before only to come back and see the same thing the very next day.
Is there anyway around this or is this just what happens at small destination weddings?
Post # 3
I can’t speak from experience, but I feel like this sort of happens at destination weddings. And nothing will compare to the real deal, real day – so it’s not like it will take away any of the special feelings of the next day. I know at most rehearsals, people kind of skim over things. So instead of going through the ceremony, it would be like “okay rehearsal here, you say I do, kiss the bride” etc.
I think you’ll be good to go! 🙂
Post # 4
For non-destination weddings, the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner usually includes the bridal party and out of town guests… so, since everyone at your wedding will be coming from out of town, then I would say your rehearsal dinner should include everyone who is there.
@Miss Otter: this is accurate–rehearsals are really just a brief run-through, you won’t do the entire ceremony or anything. It’s really just another excuse to party and enjoy spending time with the people who travelled to come celebrate your wedding! It won’t take away from the wedding itself.
Post # 5
I would have only the people directly involved in the ceremony attend the rehearsal itself, then invite the rest of the people to the dessert party. The rehearsal will be more focussed and go faster if there are not children etc as distractions. Besides, you want to surprise someone the next day!
Post # 6
If you want to keep the rehearsal itself small, I’d drop the flower girls and ring bearers because little kids aren’t going to remember what the rehearse anyway; someone’s going to have to give them the signal to do whatever they are supposed to do. Leaving them out means their parents can miss, and just let the MoH know that you planned it that way so her husband could take their kids to play with the other kids rather than boring them with a rehearsal.
Post # 7
@julies1949: Yes, that’s exactly what I want! I just don’t know how I can tell people that I don’t want them at the rehearsal. The ceremony is outside, so I can’t just not let them into the building or whatever. Plus, they will all know when/where it’s taking place because their SO/children/insert some other random relationship, IS invited.
As far as leaving the kids out, one of the main reasons we’re having the rehearsal is to get the kids used to the area and at least give them some sense of what’s going on. The adults have all done this before and should be fine considering how small the whole wedding party is.
I think I need to just get used to the fact that there will be about 3 people ‘surprised’ at the actual event.