(Closed) Does ex-FI have an obligation to help pay for the wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Money
  • poll: Does she owe him money?
    heck yeah, she cancelled the wedding, she should help cover costs! : (73 votes)
    69 %
    no way, he wanted it that way, it's his responsibility : (29 votes)
    27 %
    other : (4 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    635 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I think whoever causes the cancellation should have to pay out. If she ended it because he cheated, he should pay. If she ended it because she had 2nd thoughts or whatever, she should help pay.

    Post # 4
    Member
    726 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @MrsTahoe:  I’m not sure I’d agree with him wanting the rent back because presumably, he was fine paying for that in the past but I do agree with her being liable for the rest, especially the money she withdrew from their joint account!

    Post # 5
    Member
    879 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think that the costs of the wedding should be shared.

    But as for the rent, if it was a decision made that he would cover rent and that she contributed to other bills and living expenses, then I can’t see how he could later claim it back.

    As for the money she withdrew….hmmm, I guess thats for the court to decide if it was hers or not.

    IMO, it was gutless of her to end the engagement over the phone.  Sounds like she returned to California without any intention of returning.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    The money he gets back from selling the ring won’t cover the costs?

    Post # 7
    Member
    5093 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Yeah, she owes him for the cost of the wedding.  As for the cost of the rent, though, he’s SOL.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @MrsTahoe:  Yeah…good point. Yeah she should probably cover the costs since she is the one that at the last minute decided that she did not want to go through with it. However, if she has no money…then a lawsuit is probably not worth it….

    Post # 10
    Member
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    This couple was TWICE Engaged…

    Anotherwords, they have gone down this road before… one of them breaking off the Engagement (believe it was her the first time as well back in 2009)

    That would be a RED FLAG for me

    Personally, I don’t think that if you are deemed to be married and happy, then you don’t break an Engagement in the process of getting there.

    She can plead innocence in this all she wants “just a California Girl, who fell out of love and didn’t see myself in NYCity”

    BUT in actuality, she did agree to marry the guy (not once but 2x) and expenses have been incurred (wedding wise).  She obviously needs to pay up her share when it comes to terminated contracts etc

    Doubtful that he’ll ever see half the rent… looks like he agreed upfront to foot that cost on his own

    Lol… would love to see Judge Judy get this one…

    Think she’d see things my way, and have the Bride pay up her share of the Wedding expenses, Groom cover the rent, and then she’d give the poor guy a good talking to…

    Watch for RED FLAGS in the future, girls who break off Engagements aren’t usually the best ones to give a ring to again…

    And California Missy… good luck in your future endeavours ! (have a feeling you might need it)

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    4887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    She should absolutely pony up for the deposits and such.  Especially since she casually withdrew $55k the day after she broke up with him!

    Post # 12
    Member
    4193 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    I agree that he’s SOL for the rent, but yes, she should pay some percentage of the deposit monies. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    262 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I can’t speak for this particular situation, but when a bride on the bee expresses serious doubts about getting married, we often tell her not to worry about the costs of the deposits because divorce is more expensive.  If you aren’t 100% sure you want to enter a marriage (even if you realize this pretty late in the game)- you shouldn’t. I am frankly surprised at the animosity towards this woman. If her ex is actually considering sueing a woman he supposedly loves over a wedding she didn’t really want in the first place, I frankly don’t blame her for wanting out.

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