Post # 1
We have some friends that are hosting a friends shower for both of us on August 20th with a “home improvement” theme. FH will be attending that party.
Future Sister-In-Law is hosting a ladies/family bridal shower September 12. She has gone outside of the “family” for invites (she invited close lady friends of their side of the family – there was drama around that, but I am over it now). Anyhow, FH doesn’t want to hang out with a bunch of ladies for a champgane brunch and I told him he didnt have to. FSIL seems to think he will be there and I have not yet corrected her.
Does he have to come to the ladies/family shower?? I am not sure what etiquette dictates here…
Post # 3
He is actually not supposed to come to the ladies shower. It is not typical for a man to attend those, just like it’s not typical for a man to go to a baby shower.
Post # 4
From all the showers I have been to, he shows up at the end. Like the last 30 minutes or so. That way he can see what we received and thank everyone.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
Oops. I meant to vote no, but I hit the wrong button. Just subtract 1 vote from yes and put it in no.
Post # 6
@Pinksapphire: that is what I thought (FSIL lacks manners) – she sent me a draft of the invite she is going to send out and the front says
Brandon & Bridget
Which doesnt seem appropriate if he is not going to be there.
Thoughts on this one?!?
Post # 7
The only time I’ve seen the Fiance at the shower is either when he’s dropping off his bride-to-be, or picking her and the gifts up. Otherwise, no. It’s a ladies get-together, who would want their Fiance there or to have him put up with all of it??
ETA: for the invite, I’ve usually seen:
Bridal Shower in honor of TheMrs.
Bride-Elect of TheMr.
…or something along those lines.
Post # 8
Where I’m from, normally the groom comes towards the end of the shower to thank everyone and do the manual labor (load the gifts). Especially considering there will be family there, I think it’s a nice gesture for your husband-to-be to personally thank the guests for their generous gifts.
My shower was on Saturday and Fiance brought me a gorgeous bouquet of flowers that all of the women seriously died over. If he’s looking for brownie points, that’ll do it!
Post # 9
I think times are changing. I have been to quite a few showers where both were expected to be there. In fact FI’s family threw me a shower Sunday that was joint bridal/baby and I expected him to be there.
My Bridal shower that my family threw was all women. I think it all depends on the shower itself.
Post # 10
Your Fiance doesn’t have to go to the shower unless he wants to. In recent weddings I’ve been to some men opted to go to their showers to help open gifts. At my cousin’s shower it made a little more sense having him there since one of the bridal shower games involved answering trivia about both the bride and groom.
At most showers the groom is only required to show up at the end to thank everyone and to help load up the gifts to take home. I would like it if my Fiance goes to my bridal shower since I hate being the center of attention. I’m just going to suck it up since it’s not traditional and I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable.
Post # 11
My Fiance came at the end of mine to thank people and help me with the gifts. That seems pretty standard where I am from.
Post # 12
I said “No, but he should sign the thank-yous”. Generally the gifts given are for the couple, not just the woman anymore, so they should both sign the thank-yous, though it still seems standard for the man not to attend the majority of the shower. All of the ones I’ve been to, the groom (in addition to the husbands/boyfriends of some of the close family attendees) has shown up in the last 30-45 minutes to see everyone and thank everyone, and help clean up and load gifts. That’s probably how we’ll do ours.
Post # 13
My husband didn’t come and didn’t show up at the end either – I’ve never even heard of that! At the other 3 bridal showers I’ve been to, the guy didn’t show up at the end. I guess it depends on where your bridal shower is. My bridal shower was about an hour away from our home so it would have been ridiculous for my husband to drive all that way to just say hi to some people and load up gifts.
Post # 14
My Fiance never came to any of my showers. He didn’t show up at the end to do gifts… I was on my own for that 🙂 And I didn’t sign thank-you’s as if he was writing them as well. I felt that for myy shower, I should sign the thank you’s, especially since I mentioned fun things we did during the shower. For the wedding, I signed thank-you’s as if he was writing them. I felt weird/awkward about it, because he definitely didn’t write a dang thing, but oh well 🙂
Post # 15
It’s up to him. If he feel comfortable being there he can be there but he doesn’t have to be. Although it’s nice if he wants to come say hi towards the end.
Post # 16
I personally would rather he showed up only at the end to help the bride transport the gifts.
I think most women are more comfortable with only the “girls” unless the shower is clearly a couples shower. Ditto for the grooms- they just seem so awkward.