Does FSIL need to be a BM?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

No, your bridal party is whoever you want. Don’t add anyone who wouldn’t be a positive influence on your big day.

ETA: I’m sorry that your Future Sister-In-Law seems difficult to work with!

Post # 3
1609 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

No, pick those who are closest to you. Being related does not obligate someone to be their bridesmaid. Also, if she hasnt treated you well in the past, a wedding is not going to make that better or bring you closer together. If anything, it’ll only make things worse. 

If your Fiance wants her to be involved, he can ask her to stand on his side as a groomswomen. 

Post # 4
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Hell no – even if she hadn’t behaved the way she has, there’s nothing that says she has to be in your bridal party.  I didn’t have my Future Sister-In-Law in mine, nor was I in the bridal party when my brother got married.

Post # 5
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

What does your Fiance think about it? Also, are you of a cultural background or heritage where it’s “expected” for the Future Sister-In-Law to be involved in the wedding party?

There’s no “rules” dictacting who NEEDS to be in your wedding party. It sounds like she’s been totally rude and terrible to you, so I wouldn’t include her. HOWEVER, if you could foresee things changing in the future, maybe there’s a way to involve her somehow. Perhaps she could do a reading at the church, be a guest book attendant, etc. I would see what you fiance says about it – his opinion is also important.

Post # 6
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

No. If you do you are sending a message that behavior is OK and she can continue for the rest of your lives. She is likely to cause all kinds of issues, drama and stress…read many of these other posts with nightmare bridesmaids. It is a lot easier dealing with someone who doesnt behave if they are not in the wedding party and don’t have as much percieved control.

Post # 7
3840 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

No. You don’t have to and if you don’t get along well it is better for everyone not to. 

Post # 8
770 posts
Busy bee

soontobeskaats :  I read your post, but didn’t even need to to answer this. Your bridal party is WHOEVER you want. Got two biological sisters but only like 1 of them? Only ask the 1. Got 5 friends but only want 2 of them? Only ask the 2. It’s completely up to you. Your bridal party should be a support system.

I personally am not having a bridal party for the very reason that it would cause too much drama and my friends will be there for me regardless of if they stand at the altar with me. My Future Sister-In-Law threw a hissy fit when she found out she couldn’t walk down the aisle. Oh well.

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