(Closed) Does he come to the wedding venue appointment?

posted 6 years ago in Venue
Post # 3
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would be upset about this. He can go snowboarding another time. But I guess it depends on your relationship. For Darling Husband and I he didn’t have an option on going or not to these meetings. He dreaded the meetings, would sit there and work on his phone the majority of the time and would just smile and nod and agreed with whatever I picked. Or ask questions that were so general like our color scheme and how many in our wedding party. He acted like he was clueless…. It was annoying, but it was better than him not going at all. And whenever we left a meeting he’d be all happy and proud of checking more things off our list. And when people ask he says proudly that he actively participated in the planning. LOL.

Post # 4
Member
12956 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would be upset too.  I make sure Fiance is at all of our appointments.  I suggested he go to one without me (my schedule was being difficult) and he said he wanted us both at every meeting! 

Post # 5
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

I wanted Fiance there with me, but then again he also wanted to be there because it’s his wedding too.  We are paying for a significant chunk of this wedding and he wanted to have a say in where our money goes. 

Post # 8
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Fiance hasn’t seen our venue yet haha. We’re getting married out of state (my home state) and I looked at the venue when I was home for a weekend. But I would be REALLY pissed if he said he’d come then made other plans. Glad it worked out.

Post # 9
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m clearly not the norm on this: I went without my Darling Husband and he didn’t see our venue till the wedding day. He didn’t care where we got married, just that we got married.

Post # 10
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Some guys are just more into the planning than others.  My Fiance is completely cool with whatever I decide on (luckily we have similar tastes) and always says that he is just excited to be marrying me <3!  The complete opposite is my sister’s Fiance.  He wants a say in everything from colors to favors!  Different stroke for different folks I guess.  Chances are that I am going to be touring our dream venue by my lonesome, but that it just because my Fiance works constantly and we are in a hurry to book!

I’m sorry that your feelings are hurt.  Maybe you should tell him how important it is for you to have a) his opinion and b) support.  These are really hard decisions to make on your own.

EDIT: Oops!  Just read your update!  Glad everything worked out!  Good luck with your venue search!

Post # 11
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Lizzyluv: Aw, good to hear! I like having Mr.ND with for all of our coordinator appointments to help out with the decisions they ask (what kind of beer? how many kegs? late-night snacks? etc). I want him to at least have the option to help out with decisions he’s interested in, and if he doesn’t make the appointments, he’s out of the loop. 

Post # 12
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I as well am not in the norm. My Fiance did not come to the venue meeting nor the photographer. He is pretty easy going and if it is in budget he is a happy camper! He saw pictures of the place and knew what we were getting so he was happy. 

He did see the photographers pictures beforehand (as well as many other photographers before we decided!) so he knew what the quality was like. 

 

Post # 13
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Lizzyluv: I’m glad he changed his plans.

I’m pretty adamant as for Fiance being part of the planning. Since he lives out of town he didn’t go with me when I signed the contract but he was there when they showed us the venue for the first time and is going with me tomorrow for our “details” reunion.

Post # 14
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Maybe we are the norm! Fiance did not come with me to any of these meeting eiter. They only had appointments during the work day and it didn’t make sense for both of us to take time off. I went, took pictures and video and went over with him later.

He’s also not coming to the photog meetings. I was an art major so I know what I want and he trusts my judgement in that arena. He’s coming to meet the DJs though since music is his thing. 

Post # 15
Member
1992 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hmmm I’d be upset but I think he might be a little right in that you’ve already said this is your dream venue and you’ve pretty much already made the decision.  In a positive way, he probably just wants you to be happy and YOU are the one who will know when that’s accomplished so he thinks you can handle it.
My fiance lives in England so I’ve done everything without him thus far… not without constant picture emails and txts and details details details relayed to him but without him physically being there- yes. He’s involved but not actually present and I think that’s the norm.
Don’t worry, he loves you and wants you to be happy!
If it bothers you that much, sit him down and tell him its important to you that he’s invovled and THEN he should make it a priority because it is YOU BOTH getting married :]
Congrats & good luck!

Post # 16
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would be upset he didnt show. He can snowboard another time. My Fiance comes to every appointment because he likes to give input and he wants to know where the money is going. I’m glad he comes because he has some great ideas and hes good at negotiating prices.

If your Fiance keeps missing appointments, use it to your advantage to get something you want! 🙂

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