(Closed) Does he hate me?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Hostess
9080 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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mrsthomas2017 :  Should you be yelling at a loved one in the street – no probably not. Is this the worst thing that could ever happen and is worth ending an engagement over – No, of course not.

 

Can I ask how old you both are as this seems like a pretty extreame reaction to one little tiff, it sounds like maybe neither of you are mature enough to be getting married in the first place. Maybe him walking away has done you a favour (even though it doesn’t feel like it right now).

 

Also, I am so very, very sorry to hear you lost your mother. x

 

Edited to add: Hating yourself is going to get you nowhere. Please love and respect yourself, it is the only way you can move forward.

Post # 3
Member
286 posts
Helper bee

If it were me I’d give it a few days until emotions aren’t so high and then reach out and see if he will meet you for coffee or something.  Then just apologize sincerely, tell him you love him, and that you don’t want things to end but understand his decision.  Then regardless of the outcome move forward.  Forgive yourself and move on.  If I were your fiancé I would want to know that you were sorry.  It would mean something to me, and I think it will give you closure.  Also, it may be beneficial to seek some counseling to address your loss and conflict style.

Post # 4
Member
587 posts
Busy bee

Dealing with your own bad temper is hard. I know, because I have bad temper and I can also yell at my SO, later regretting it. You have to try and improve yourself, there’s no other way. Until you actually realise that words HURT and you can never take them back, you won’t change. Your temper affected your relationship and possibly ended it, how does that make you feel? 

I wouldn’t talk such hopeless nonsence though as in the post. Admitting your fault for real is what you need first. Now all you do is you feel self pitty. You really hurt him and disrespected him for fuck’s sake… If you really loved him, you would make yourself and him a promise to try and improve your way of dealing with conflict, apologise and try to get him back. You were the wrong one here, and the fact that he doesn’t call you or text to beg for you to apologise, doesn’t mean it’s over or he doesn’t want to be with you anymore. He just has some self respect and he doesn’t want to tolerate your behaviour like that. How would he?.. You not contacting him hurts him even more. I bet he’s really really hurting right now that you are just fine with him leaving. It just shows how stubborn you are and can’t even move a finger to fight for him after your mistake. Suck it up and go do something about your “worst nightmare”…

Post # 5
Member
325 posts
Helper bee

What in the world could you have been possibly yelling for him to end an engagement? Judging from the piece of information you’ve provided the fault isn’t just with you. You’ve just lost your mother, you’re clearly not in the best state mentally and if that one argument is what caused the end of your relationship, I would wonder why? Losing someone is hard and causes people to act erratically. You need to get yourself into grief counseling to help with the loss of your mother.

Also, you should apologize to him and explain that you love him but don’t expect to get back together. Otherwise, you need to forgive yourself. This isn’t 100% your fault. If he left you because of one tiff…maybe he’s not mature enough to get married. 

Post # 6
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

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mrsthomas2017 :  I understand that this is an older post but you deleted the one I was going to comment on before I actually could. Honestly, I think you need to get off of WeddingBee and work on your relationship. You make posts (then delete them when you can’t handle the truth), argue with bees who are trying to open your eyes, and refuse any real advice that is thrown in your direction. What are you hoping to gain here? Validation? You’re not going to get that here. You’re going to get honest, third party, feedback that is apparently too hard to hear. If you can’t handle us bees giving you our honest opinions, leave the page and do something productive. You don’t want to leave him? Fine, don’t. That is your decision and you are the one who will have to live with it, but hanging around here looking for attention isn’t improving your relationship whatsoever. 

Post # 7
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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smalltownbigworld :  Wait, was this post before or after she basically told a poster she’s never leaving him? lol

Post # 8
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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smalltownbigworld :  Is this the same OP that was giving Fiance silent treatment and then was pissed when Fiance did the same to her instead of trying to have her open up?  Wasn’t she suppose to apologize to his family or something?

Post # 9
Member
1809 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

[content moderated for baiting]

Post # 10
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee

Why do you keep making threads about this when you’re not willing to listen to the advice you’ve already been given? 

Post # 11
Member
230 posts
Helper bee

Original post reads like a melodramatic personal journal entry.

Venting is acceptable in this forum, but it should be self-classified as such if there’s no true intention to read, let alone heed, advice given.

Post # 12
Member
5018 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

Hate is a strong word.  It does sound like the relationship has run it’s course.  Take from it what you can and learn your lesson.

Post # 13
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

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MeandMyLouboutins :  This post was before lol. I went to comment on the other but it has been closed. 

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BringOnTheHappy :  Yes! This is her. Apparently she did not get the answers she was looking for on the other post and the post was closed. 

Post # 14
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I say this from a place of kindness:

You don’t need to fix this relationship or pray for reconciliation. You need therapy. A lot of it. Once you deal with your own baggage and learn how to communicate respectfully and effectively, THEN you can think about yoking someone else into your life.

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