Does he have to like the ring?

posted 10 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
947 posts
Busy bee

Maybe a ring with gemstone center stone and diamond accent stones? I think both parties should like the ring as one is paying for it while the other has to wear it forever. He does need to get over this mentality though that a cheaper ring makes him less of a man. His priority should be your opinion, not society’s. There’s no minimum price tag on love. 

Post # 3
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek

D H and I have different tastes when it comes to jewelry. Our compromise was to purchase our own rings. There was no way I could wear something daily that I didn’t even like. Not sure if this is an option for you but might be worth a try.

Post # 5
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek

TheSanguineRose :  Thats almost exactly what we did. I picked a list of 5 and asked him to narrow it down to 2 then picked from those. I mean I get that he wants to pay for it and thats important but its a gift and something that should be chosen with the recipient in mind. idk…he can’t have it both ways by agreeing to let you choose a certain number of rings then turning his nose up at your choices. Not loving that.

Post # 6
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!

TheSanguineRose :  Yeah, we found out we have different tastes, and he picked from a list of 10. I ended up modifying the one he picked out slightly when we ended up getting it custom made. I’m happy with how we did it, but my SO prioritized making me happy (and staying under budget), as it ultimately mattered more to me than him. 

Post # 7
Member
3329 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

No he doesn’t have to like the ring,  it’s on your finger and your the one who has to look at it all day. 

May be say something about you like the stone ribg you more, research the meanibg behind the stone then get it into a conversation like ” I love that ring because the stone is only find in one mine and your mine my hearts in, or the stone stands for successful love (tanzanite)and I think we have that as a team we can over come life together (emerald).

Good luck 

Post # 8
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

A friend of mine has very different tastes than her now-husband (decor, jewelry, food, etc). When they were discussing ring options pre-engagement, they talked about what each of them liked and tried to figure out if/where they could meet in the middle. The end result was mostly what my friend wanted, but with comprimises that included what her SO liked as well. For example, you like colored gemstones and white gold, your SO likes clear gemstones/diamonds and yellow gold—you could perhaps get a colored gemstone in yellow gold or a clear stone in white gold. Something along those lines. Have a discussion where you both give your input (“I like this ring specifically because xyz, is there anything you like about it? What do you dislike the most? What if we customized it to have this, this, and that?”) and see if that helps the process move forward so that you both like the ring.

I do believe the ring is a gift and the most important person when it comes to liking it is the person wearing it. I bought my FI’s engagement ring and he picked it out, while he bought mine and I picked it out. But if your SO wants some input (which I understand), see where you can meet in the middle, or really explain to him why you don’t want to budge (which is totally okay). 

Post # 9
Member
514 posts
Busy bee

You can get expensive gemstone rings if he wants to pay more 😜

Post # 10
Member
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Oh OP I absolutely second this suggestion. Check out EidelPrecious on Etsy so I can live vicariously through you.. mahadewi :  

Post # 12
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

You should love your ring, not just like or tolerate it. When someone is buying someone else a gift, it should be bought with the recipient in mind. Let’s say your SO is buying you chocolates. You absolutely love caramel, but think peanut butter is just meh. If you told your SO that, and he bought you the peanut butter one anyway,  because it was more expensive and would reflect as him having spent more money on you and he likes the look of that chocolate better, I think you’d be annoyed. After all, you’re the one who will be eating the chocolate. He’s buying it as a gift for you. 

Obviously, chocolates and rings are far different in scale and longevity, but that should make this even more important. 

Post # 13
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

For my SO and I, we when ring shopping and the first one we both really liked and agreed upon ended up being our choice.

I think where he has traditional tastes and where yours is one that can appreciate more types (including the offbeat) it may be easier to do the opposite and have him pick out some styles and then have you offer suggestions for how you can incorporate something special to you, if that makes sense, instead of toning down a ring that you may really like for its unique properties (because then you might always see what is missing instead of what it became).

Post # 14
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee

I know I’ve said this before but I truly don’t understand the concept of compromising on ring design.  

I can understand needing to compromise for budget reasons.

But “I wanted a platinum three stone set with old mine cuts and he wanted a yellow gold marquise because that what his mom had, so we compromised on a yellow gold round brilliant solitaire.”   This just makes no sense to me.   Admittedly, I’m very into design and I love jewelry, so I may have a different way of looking at the artistic elements than some.  But changing the design elements or taking just one elament from a ring changes it completely! 

 

Post # 15
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I would say the thing he has to like is making you happy. Ie. Getting you the ring you like to fill you with joy. You’re the one that has to wear it forever so in my opinion your happiness should be his, if you see what I mean. X

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