(Closed) Does it always have to be a big joke? [vent]

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Those mothers, I tell ya! I feel your frustration, my mother says she wants me to have the wedding I want, however with her guidelines! My Fiance and I are also the only ones paying so I feel it is really up to us. I keep telling her that what she wants and what I want is different but she says “mother knows best!” lol. I just let her think that and do my own thing on the side. I still want her to feel involved and her thoughts considered (even though sometimes that is REALLY tough). I think getting married is Scotland would be a total DREAM! How unforgettable!!! Think about it… its once in a life time. I say DO IT TO IT 🙂 Your mother will understand … may be not right away but she will get there once she understands how serious you are. I truly feel that you really have to zone in on what you and your Fiance wants to make this day special. Hope this helps, <3

Post # 4
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Wow, I’m sorry that you have to go through this. That must be so horrible!

Maybe talk to your mum about this and tell her how hurtful she is being. Also, tell her that what your brother and Future Sister-In-Law want is what they want, and what you want is what you want, and that you are going through with the destination wedding because of that Smile

 

Post # 5
Member
8359 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Maybe through joking she is trying to tell you that she wont be able to afford the trip. People often use humour to express their true feelings/thoughts.

I would talk to her but at the end of the day you may need to decide what is more important to you- the wedding location or having your mum there.

Post # 6
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

@j_jaye:  +1 I was thinking the same thing…

Post # 8
Member
8359 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@YogaFaerie:  Just because you think they can afford it doesn’t mean they want to afford it or if they really can afford. Parents keep a lot of things from their children, especially adult children.

Post # 10
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would sit her down and tell her that it really hurts your feelings. A sister of mine does not mind being teased that way bi=ut I would be really upset. Hopefully she can see that you really want her support, not her half-assed humor.

Post # 11
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Plain and simple sit her down and tell her matter-of-factly.

“I know you seem to think that my head is in the clouds and that the idea of ____ and I getting married in Scotland is laughable to you. However, I need you to understand that ____ and I are quite serious about this and whether you chose to mock it or not, we will be getting married in Scotland. So I need you to decide whether you are going to be actively interested in helping me plan and excited for what our wedding will be or are you going to spend the next upteen months yakking it up at our expense? I just need to know if I’m going to continue to have you involved in the planning process or not.”

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